Classic Aspie Moments. Share your own.

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OMG I'm so embarassed thinking about my greatest aspie moment. A work colleague told me that her mother had just died. I asked when the funeral was and she told me that there would only be a memorial service as her mother wanted her body left to medical science. I then shared my detailed knowledge of what happens to bodies left to medical science. It was only later that it dawned on me that this was the very worst thing to say to a grieving daughter.

I was in fifth grade, and I was getting evaluated by the school, who suspected that I have Asperger's. They were telling me that they were testing my gross motor skills, and I said, "Oh, you don't need to. My gross motor skills need a little work."

Isn't that kind of a classic Aspie moment?

The second one was when they thought my dog book had a bad word in it, and I said, "How is it bad? It's just the term for a female dog!".

I also had a moment at dinner when I thought my sister didn't like what she was eating, and I asked her, "Are you sure you actually like it?", and she replied, "Shut up.". I was about to tell my mom, but my sister didn't want to hurt her feelings. I feel guilty.

I remember last Thanksgiving, my husband and I went to my aunt and uncles for it and they had two people over visiting them from Atlanta, their friends. My cousin was there too and her boyfriend. We were all at the table eating and then I started to talk about A League Of Their Own. I don't even remember how I got started on it or what triggered it but I started talking about it and saying trivia about it and I went on and on about it.

It was like I had a breakdown so it slipped out, something I haven't done in a while so it finally came out after years of not talking about my obsessions. Then after we left, my husband told me no one got a word in edgewise and I left the table right after the conversation changed. I swore I stayed a few minutes after the topic changed but he said I left the table after they changed the topic.

I was embarrassed about the whole thing. I used to do these things more often as a kid and I was 14 when I realized it's so inconsiderate to leave right after people change the topic. And I learned to not talk about my obsessions as much when I got older. Now I don't ever want to talk about them.

haha yes, that has to be the worst question. I always say: "not much."
Then I'm left with an awkward silence... hehe!
One of my experiences...
Crying in a shop: I had exactly the right amount of money counted out for the two litres of milk my mum had sent me in to buy.
Checkout Girl: "Ah, that's a dollar short,"
Me: "No, it isn't"
Checkout Girl: " I'm sorry, but I still need a dollar,"
I then burst into tears and ran out the shop, leaving milk and money behind.
Luckily I was only ten at the time, so I didn't make such an idiot of myself as I thought, and luckily my mum went back in to sort it out, and the shop girl was very embarrassed about over charging me. But I cried all the way home, and only recently managed to get over my shopping phobia! I still thoroughly count change and money given, and annoy all customers standing behind me.


For me, the funniest thing I have done was back in year nine, first week of a new school, on our first Health Test unit in class. One question asked: "How do you find your heart rate?"
I replied: " Pretty good, but it would improve if started playing soccer again,"



The teacher thought I was being a smart alec, and wrote something similar next to the question. But then, she was a b**ch to everyone.
The correct answer was something like subtract age from 220 or something. And then subtract resting heart rate, long complicated and completely irrelevant. hehehe

Although I'm not sure I'm an Aspie, some of these things sound really familiar. When I'm waiting in line at the supermarket, my mind often strays a bit. It happens quite often that, once it's my turn, the girl behind the counter says 'hello!' nicely and I reply by virtually shouting back 'HELLO!' causing weird stares. Losing control of the volume of my voice is something that happens quite often in general. This one time, a woman asked me for directions, she was heading the other way and she was a couple of yards away from me. However, she didn't have to raise her voice to make herself understood. And then there's me, thinking, 'hm, this lady is a couple of yards away from me, so I'd better make sure she can hear me.' So what do I do? TAKE THE SECOND STREET TO THE LEFT!! !! ! etc. etc. Only after she was gone did I realize that perhaps I could've turned down the volume a bit.. But then I figured, ah well, at least she understood. Another tendency I have is that, when in restaurants, I completely manage to screw up some of those standard phrases when ordering something. For you Dutchies out there, I often say 'Mag ik graag een ...' instead of 'Ik wil graag een ...' or 'Mag ik alstublieft een..'. To the people who don't speak Dutch, that would roughly mean I say 'Can I like to have a drink?' instead of 'I would like to have a drink' or 'Can I have a drink, please?' It also happens I just mumble something and then say the name of the thing I'd like to order. The other day when I went to see my therapist, I must've said hello to her about a dozen times because I wasn't sure she heard me the first time. Standing up, 'hi!', walking up to her, 'hi!', shaking hands with her, 'hi!', sitting down in her office, 'hi!'.

Where I live, the equivalent of 'what's up' translates roughly as 'what are you doing?'. Well this is a specific question so I have stared countless number of times at people who could see perfectly well what I was doing, so what was the point of the question - or else explained in detail what I was doing at the precise moment. Both didn't go too well.
Recently it came into fashion, however, that if you are asked 'what are you doing', you may well reply 'Um, all kinds of things'. I use this reply as a social script, the worst that may happen is that people might think me a smart mouth - which happens all the time anyway.

Not sure whether this is strange... but two days ago I "needed to buy a CD" (I usually never do, but had to do for a seminar, and was quite overwhelmed with the sheer number of CDs).
So finally I decided which one I wanted, and then went to the checkout counter to pay.
The cashier asked the usual question:
Do you have a card for this shop [this one to collect bonus points]? - No.
Do you want one? - No, I'll probably never come here again.

When I went out it occured to me that they probably a single "no, thanks" would have been enough, rather than this downright honesty.

I was on my second date with a girl, fairly recently.

She's quiet, a thinker, and knows I have Aspergers. She's fine with that.

It was a slow, 30 minute walk with conversation on a park trail. It was a little late (6:30) when we started, so when nearing the end of the trail it was getting dark.
While I may jog this trail every other day, she was unaware the trail was about to end.
I panicked, as I was actually having a fairly good time and wanted it to end a certain way. I then burst into explaining my elaborate strategy on how I was going to pull her into the trees beside the trail in the moonlight and kiss her.
After that I grew confidence and basically stood there with her as we decided which tree we would kiss by. This delicate selection of course took longer than the kiss. (which became more of a makeout session, I admit. It was fairly sudden.)

While a "smooth talking adonis" may have just grabbed her and went to work on her face, dragging her into the trees like some seductive horror, I told her bluntly what I would like to do, and THEN we decided how to go about it, together.

She handles me well.

-Crow

I was talking with someone recently about a bridge they will be building near here to replace an aging one. He said he used to ride his bicycle under the bridge, but all I could see in my head was the dangerous river and I wondered what the heck he was talking about, you can't ride a bike on water. I took a little too long for me to realize he meant on the road fronting the river and he picked up on that. It lead to a rather odd conversation.

Concrete thinking in action.

Oh, and even though I'm the Metaphor Master, when my teacher was talking about cutting a third of someone's body and placing it on another as a math visual, I was thinking, "Wouldn't you succumb to massive hemmorhaging?". I sometimes correct my teachers' grammar, too.

Oh yeah, talking about taking things literally... I just remembered. A few years ago we wanted to get cats and my mother then found a family that had kittens to give away.
The thing is that the kitten's mother had died recently, so before we went there she asked me whether I wanted to come along since "the mother had died", and she told me that the kittens had been brought up with bottles (this small bottles for babies that usually contain milk). Now you need to know that in German "to bring up" means "aufziehen" or "hochziehen". The direct translation of the latter would mean "to pull up".

I honestly imagined kittens being pulled up a staircase in bottles and I couldn't make out why this was because the mother had died (which I thought to be the mother of the family, not the kittens).
During the conversation my misunderstanding of which mother had died was cleared up, and then it dawned to me what the correct meaning of the other one was. Took me quite some time, though.

The only thing worse than being an aspie...is to be an aspie with a hearing loss as far as conversations go.

I remember talking to my elderly neighbor...he said something, but I could not hear him, because I was embarrased to ask him to repeat. I just smiled, nodded and said "thats cool."
He yelled at me and said "that is not cool ...it is horrible"
I said "What is?"
he said..."I told you my friend died yesterday"
I was soooo embarrased that I ran off and did not talk to him much since.

Bridges can go over roads.

I once corrected my supervisor's grammar and then I felt embarrassed. It slipped. But luckily he didn't say anything.

Well of course they can. But this specific bridge goes over the Niagara River. In my mind I only saw the river when he said he rode his bike under the bridge.

My rabbi recorded a tape of my bat mitzvah portion to help me practice and he convinced me that he had gotten Frank Sinatra to sing it.