Are aspies less affected by death? why?

Post Reply New Topic

I don't know, I do think that maybe AS does have something to do with it.
I have had many close relatives die, also some good friends and acquaintances from work; some from illness and some from accidents/other causes.
I do find that it is not that I don't care or grieve, but I grieve in my own way in private and in public at funerals etc. it is almost like I am numb, I can't seem to "feel" what others seem to be feeling at the time and it is uncomfortable, especially as I am female and females seem to be expected to be more emotional and cry and I've never really been able to cry in public.

Deaths themselves don't affect me, but how they affect those close to me does.

Maybe.

I was abnormally indifferent when both of my grandpa's died in 2006. It seemed more unfortunate than terrible for some reason. But a couple months later the realization of it hit me and I broke down for a moment.

I stopped going to funerals because of how depressed I get durring and after. Its the only time I feel suicidal so I avoid them like the plague. I only plan on going to my parents and brothers funnerals everyone else can do without me being there for my own mental health. When my parents and brother finally die I probably would have to make sure not to be around my house out of fear of me going after one of my firearms to blow my brains out.

The strange thing is I could watch someone die on the street and not have a single bit of empathy or compassion for them. It would be like watching it on tv but if I attended the person's funneral I would be in the darkest depths of depression. I guess its because the funneral gives me time to reflect about how horrible my life is then I begin to envey the dead.

Last edited by Todesking on 30 Oct 2010, 2:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

I dont find myself as sad as most people at funerals. I feel mostly confused as to what I should say or do to people. I think thats where most of my focus is.

I'm the absolute opposite way round. I think it's because where I live, there's an Irish immigrant culture, where a Big Thing is made of funerals. I remember having to be in the choir service for funerals at school, when some dinnerlady's husband had died, or the school caretaker's Mum, or something like that. All the girls in that choir would turn on the tears and talk about what a nice person he/she was, despite having never met them. I used to say, 'what's the point in crying, when you didn't even know them?' The girls would then tell the teachers to try and get me in trouble. I really felt nothing.

I don't even want anyone to cry at my funeral. I don't even think I want a funeral. Just feed me to the pigeons, or something.

My reasoning is: people are already dead at funerals. If they're dying, that's the time to feel empathy.

I'm the same when a child dies, and people put toys on the grave. I think, 'he can't play with them, he's dead'. Yet, if I see someone in mental or physical pain, I want to do the first thing I can to help...like I have enough theory of mind to understand how it would affect me, if I was in the same situation. I can imagine having a psychosis, or being horribly wounded, or being set on fire, etc...I can't imagine being dead. That's like a black hole for me; hence, I have no empathy with dead people.

At funerals do you ever wonder WHY the person is crying and look around? I mean like, are they crying because they miss them (likely/probable of course)? Or is there some other reason? Do they contemplate their own death? Do they think it's their fault? Does death in general just make them unsettled?