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Rude?

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TeaEarlGreyHot
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01 Nov 2010, 5:09 pm

Janissy wrote:
TallyMan wrote:
I think whether or not to say 'Hi' depends a lot on the context. If I'm walking in the countryside with my dogs and there is nobody there for miles, then a chance encounter with a stranger walking on a path past each other it is common to say Hello or Bonjour (in France and England anyway). However, if I'm walking through along a busy city street and a stranger says "Hi" I usually ignore them because they are either wanting to sell me something, begging for money or to want to save my soul!


Oh yes! I've had that. Context is everything. People who are selling either religious salvation or a more material product do have a hungry gleam in their eye that makes me look away and just keep walking.


Hungry gleam? Sorry, but I can't really read intent in peoples' faces.


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01 Nov 2010, 5:10 pm

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Heck even normal people ignore those things too because I saw a thread at Babycenter and the woman who works as a cashier was bitching about people ignoring her when she tries to do small talk. I said back to her I think it's rude to try and talk to someone when they are on their phone. She did mention that in her OP too about people talking on their cell phones in the line and she wants to make small talk with them. She said it was a requirement for her to greet her customers and sometimes the manager will be standing behind her to make sure she is doing her job right.


I just noticed I made it sound like I said that to her after she told me she is required to do that to her customers nonetheless. She said it to me after I told her I think it's rude to try and talk to people when they are on the phone.



Last edited by League_Girl on 01 Nov 2010, 5:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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01 Nov 2010, 5:10 pm

Darkmysticdream wrote:
@TeaEarlGreyHot Clap Harder!! !


And hurt my hands? Pfft!


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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01 Nov 2010, 5:11 pm

League_Girl wrote:
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Heck even normal people ignore those things too because I saw a thread at Babycenter and the woman who works as a cashier was bitching about people ignoring her when she tries to do small talk. I said back to her I think it's rude to try and talk to someone when they are on their phone. She did mention that in her OP too about people talking on their cell phones in the line and she wants to make small talk with them. She said it was a requirement for her to greet her customers and sometimes the manager will be standing behind her to make sure she is doing her job right.


I just noticed I made it sound like I said that to her after she told me she is required to do that to her customers nonetheless. She said it to me after I told her I think it's rude toy and talk to people when they are on the phone.


Oh... that makes more sense. lol


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Sefirato
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01 Nov 2010, 8:47 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
On another forum someone posted a question about whether it's rude to ignore someone saying hi in passing.

I said I didn't see it as rude because the 'Hi' is an invitation for socialization and ignoring the person is a rejection of said invitation. The majority of posters said it was rude because it was 'common decency' to at least acknowledge their presence.

Am I just being rude?


What if the person is deaf or mute?

I'm deaf and I have met a few people that gave off vibes that I was rude to them for some reasons - some of them were quite rude in their behaviors and I didn't know why nor did I know them. For some people it's quite rude to ignore them.



Darkmysticdream
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01 Nov 2010, 8:55 pm

@Sefirato

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I'm deaf and I have met a few people that gave off vibes that I was rude to them for some reasons - some of them were quite rude in their behaviors and I didn't know why nor did I know them. For some people it's quite rude to ignore them.


Yes, but that's probably just because most people have no idea how deaf culture works. I can't say from being deaf myself, but from having a few deaf friends who have helped me understand the complexities and differences of expression within the deaf community.

Most people are just kind of stupid about stuff like that; whether its about a simple difference in communication, a disability, or anything else.



collectoritis
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02 Nov 2010, 12:25 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbyGA3CN0Dk

RR sez.......All you WP sweat hogs , be quiet while I take my robe off.....hit the music !

Thats *MISTER* Rude to you :lol: :wink:



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02 Nov 2010, 12:39 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
On another forum someone posted a question about whether it's rude to ignore someone saying hi in passing.

I said I didn't see it as rude because the 'Hi' is an invitation for socialization and ignoring the person is a rejection of said invitation. The majority of posters said it was rude because it was 'common decency' to at least acknowledge their presence.

Am I just being rude?


No, you are not being rude. Saying Hi is a ubiquitous activity that people do almost on a Pavlovian level. See a person, say Hi. If you do not want to talk with somebody, don't talk to them. Common decency is helping someone out when they need a hand or some extra help, not saying Hi.

A person should be able to socialize however they see fit and not have to conform to some preconceived notion of acceptable behavior.

-Johnathan


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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02 Nov 2010, 12:44 am

billybud21 wrote:
Saying Hi is a ubiquitous activity that people do almost on a Pavlovian level


lol


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ClassicAutism
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02 Nov 2010, 12:46 am

I believe it strongly depends on the situation, if like lets say you are alone in a hallway waiting for class to start in college and a classmate says Hi to you. I at least try to say "Hi" back and maybe a how are you? and such like that. While it may not get further then that, if you are in a hurry to get to somewhere or walking where there is a lot of people I don't think its rude at all. I think its purely situational and how comfortable one is to respond to them.

Some might disagree but that's how I believe, I think its just more manners then anything.



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02 Nov 2010, 12:52 am

I usually just nod.

The only time I am out and around people that tell me "hi" anymore is when I am out running. I run to where I am breathing hard and it makes it hard to speak. The only time I respond is when it is an attractive woman.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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02 Nov 2010, 12:52 am

ClassicAutism wrote:
I believe it strongly depends on the situation, if like lets say you are alone in a hallway waiting for class to start in college and a classmate says Hi to you. I at least try to say "Hi" back and maybe a how are you? and such like that. While it may not get further then that, if you are in a hurry to get to somewhere or walking where there is a lot of people I don't think its rude at all. I think its purely situational and how comfortable one is to respond to them.

Some might disagree but that's how I believe, I think its just more manners then anything.


I really don't like situational social graces.


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02 Nov 2010, 12:55 am

billybud21 wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
On another forum someone posted a question about whether it's rude to ignore someone saying hi in passing.

I said I didn't see it as rude because the 'Hi' is an invitation for socialization and ignoring the person is a rejection of said invitation. The majority of posters said it was rude because it was 'common decency' to at least acknowledge their presence.

Am I just being rude?


No, you are not being rude. Saying Hi is a ubiquitous activity that people do almost on a Pavlovian level. See a person, say Hi. If you do not want to talk with somebody, don't talk to them. Common decency is helping someone out when they need a hand or some extra help, not saying Hi.

A person should be able to socialize however they see fit and not have to conform to some preconceived notion of acceptable behavior.

-Johnathan



Yeah but people feel really stupid if they've said Hi for no reason. I used to get annoyed as a cashier when customers didn't respond or even look at me



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02 Nov 2010, 9:54 am

Lots of animals greet too. For men, in ancient times when they walked the forest hunting with their weapons, it was a way to say "hey I'm not the mammoth" or "this weapon is not against you" when they unexpectedly met. The tradition remained

I consider it completely rude unless you have a special reason with a specific person not to reply to his greeting.

There is a mechanism behind the simple polite greeting: it means I an here, I make my presence known, I come in peace. And eventually some other significations that add up to these ones depending on the context.
When you respond to the greeting you return the message and acknowledge: I see you, I accept you peace.

By not responding, you negate the person and his peaceful signal and suggest something is wrong with his greeting. It is clearly saying I willingly ignore you and I don't take your peace whatsoever, or worse...

Quote:
I really don't like situational social graces.


It's not about what you like or what you don't, I would like to fly: it just is


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Countess
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02 Nov 2010, 10:06 am

SuperApsie wrote:
Lots of animals greet too. For men, in ancient times when they walked the forest hunting with their weapons, it was a way to say "hey I'm not the mammoth" or "this weapon is not against you" when they unexpectedly met. The tradition remained

I consider it completely rude unless you have a special reason with a specific person not to reply to his greeting.

There is a mechanism behind the simple polite greeting: it means I an here, I make my presence known, I come in peace. And eventually some other significations that add up to these ones depending on the context.
When you respond to the greeting you return the message and acknowledge: I see you, I accept you peace.

By not responding, you negate the person and his peaceful signal and suggest something is wrong with his greeting. It is clearly saying I willingly ignore you and I don't take your peace whatsoever, or worse...

Quote:
I really don't like situational social graces.


It's not about what you like or what you don't, I would like to fly: it just is


It's certainly necessary if you don't want to stand out, and what you point out here makes total sense. However, we don't hunt mammoths or carry weapons regularly anymore. It's really just a silly tradition, and a waste of time. So something is wrong with the greeting - it's unnecessary. And sometimes it can be really annoying.

Honestly, there have been many a time where I have avoided eye contact or pretended I didn't see someone simply because I didn't want to be bothered. I don't understand why I have to accommodate people's need to constantly be acknowledged. Why can't my need to be left alone or have a bad day be equally important? Last I checked, I am a person with feelings too.

Just sayin'



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02 Nov 2010, 10:42 am

Countess wrote:
SuperApsie wrote:
Lots of animals greet too. For men, in ancient times when they walked the forest hunting with their weapons, it was a way to say "hey I'm not the mammoth" or "this weapon is not against you" when they unexpectedly met. The tradition remained

I consider it completely rude unless you have a special reason with a specific person not to reply to his greeting.

There is a mechanism behind the simple polite greeting: it means I an here, I make my presence known, I come in peace. And eventually some other significations that add up to these ones depending on the context.
When you respond to the greeting you return the message and acknowledge: I see you, I accept you peace.

By not responding, you negate the person and his peaceful signal and suggest something is wrong with his greeting. It is clearly saying I willingly ignore you and I don't take your peace whatsoever, or worse...

Quote:
I really don't like situational social graces.


It's not about what you like or what you don't, I would like to fly: it just is


It's certainly necessary if you don't want to stand out, and what you point out here makes total sense. However, we don't hunt mammoths or carry weapons regularly anymore. It's really just a silly tradition, and a waste of time. So something is wrong with the greeting - it's unnecessary. And sometimes it can be really annoying.

Honestly, there have been many a time where I have avoided eye contact or pretended I didn't see someone simply because I didn't want to be bothered. I don't understand why I have to accommodate people's need to constantly be acknowledged. Why can't my need to be left alone or have a bad day be equally important? Last I checked, I am a person with feelings too.

Just sayin'


SuperApsie silently nods :hail:

Even if logic always seems to be on our side*, majority always wins, and we are not the majority.

* = If you ever believed that, as aspies, we are always rational, you need to see this video:
http://fora.tv/2010/06/07/Dan_Ariely_Th ... ationality
because it is cheaper than the book
http://www.amazon.com/Upside-Irrational ... 0061995037
and shorter than the blog
http://danariely.com/2010/06/01/the-ups ... ty-is-out/

We need to expand our logic to adapt in a meaningful way and keep ourselves sane 8)


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