Is there any Aspie who wish they are born normal?

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Not me. I've accepted who I am, and am at a point in my life where I almost like who I am. Everything that has happened to me in the past, and the way my brain works have lead me to where I am today, and although there has been a lot of bad with the good, I'm at a good place in my life now. So no, I used to wish I was neurotypical but not any more.

I would have loved to have been born an NT and I hope a cure does get discovered one day. I don't understand why the majority of autistic people are so dead-set against a cure and I especially don't understand why everyone wages a one-sided war with Autism Speaks.

I don't know about any of you, but I highly doubt my base personality and interests would have been much different if I didn't have all the social and functioning problems of AS. One thing's for sure, I would have been granted a lot more independence by my parents if I was NT because they wouldn't have felt the need to be so overprotective of me if I could have actually been able to function as a member of society.

I don't.

The other aspies I know are genuine, intelligent, good people who stand by what they believe in, don't stab people in the back, don't engage in malicious gossip, don't pretend friendliness when they don't feel it, and a million other things that neurotypicals are capable of.

I think that everything in life has a cost, the benefits of being aspie are accompanied by costs, for example the ability to focus on one subject can be a blessing and a curse at the same time, similarly are the sensitivity issues they may seem terrible but they may also allow you to sense the most subtle nuances that most people whose brains 'filter out' the small things can miss.

I seriously doubt that there exists a state in which you can have the benefits without some costs, that is the way life goes, that is the way nature operates, evolution and selection pressures create beings which are uniquely suited for some environmental conditions and fatally unsuited for others, to believe that life would be perfect without this or that trait is to deny all of the evidence to the contrary.

No, no, no! I do *not* want to be a privileged, bland, boring person. I do *not* want to give up my "gifts." I have wasted too much time pitying myself and hating on myself already; I'm done with that, and part of being done with that is loving the flawed life I've got instead of envying the flawed lives of others.

I do yes in somewhat, but I enjoy my special gifts as well cant have it both ways.

In my world I am normal

Yes, but there's only one person in your world. A lot of us are like that.

You can rewind your whole life and live it again with AS and you would probably have different interests and a different personality. Same goes for if you become an NT.
I remember on medications I was less obsessive and more social. Then they wore off and I was left allergic to orange juice, having worse sensory issues and seizures.

Also, NT's have their own problems too. They are abused. They can have depression and anxiety. The get fired, dumped, robbed, etc.

People want me to be normal. I want them to accept me.

For me, being an Aspie is normal. I don't want to be NT. I have found that Asperger's has given me gifts in life that I enjoy. My gift of music came through autism as did my special intense interests. Since my diagnosis of Asperger's as an adult, I have found many more doors opening for me. Understanding better how autism works in my life has allowed me to utilize successful strategies in my endeavors. It's interesting how before I knew about Asperger's (and just thought I was some one-of-a-kind eccentric) it was difficult for "neat" things to happen to me (though there were some neat things that did happen). For example, in my early 20's, there was a movie being filmed where I knew someone involved in it. There was a chance I would be used in the movie. But it didn't work out. Several things like this happened to me---and they usually wouldn't work out. Now however, since I know of my autism, I embrace it and reveal it to others by showing them how autism has worked in my life. Now interesting things are happening in my life in a much easier way. A couple years ago I launched a dulcimer ministry where I share my testimony of how autism is a gift in my life from God. I have gotten numerous bookings and have been quite busy with it. I shared to a world famous musician how his music inspired me and how my autism made this music an obsession. Within days a person writing a biography on this musician asked permission to use my story in the book. It has since been published, and I'm in it. A recently published book on Asperger's has used a quote by me (and several others with Asperger's) in it. I have also had two poems published on another autism website. So for me, autism has been wonderful. It has made my life fascinating and fun, although there are challenges---but doesn't everyone have challenges (autistic or NT)?

I couldn't have said it better myself, glider18!

If a cure does get discovered, you can count me out. I wouldn't trade my High-Functioning Autism for ANYTHING. I couldn't imagine myself as an NT. In fact, the very idea scares me.

"Autism is not something I have. It is integral to who I am. Eliminate the autism, and you eliminate me. When you say you want a cure, you are saying I should be put to death." - Parrish S. Knight

"This is what we know, when you tell us of your fondest hopes and dreams for us: that your greatest wish is that one day we will cease to be, and strangers you can love will move in behind our faces." - Jim Sinclair

I think that anyone who believes that autism is just a "part" of themselves does not have a very good grasp on who they really are and what they are really made of. I am autistic. I think differently and experience the world differently from NTs. I can only assume that if I was suddenly thrust into the brain of an NT it would feel as though I were suddenly required to breathe stone and eat air. I can only experience the world as I know it, and I know that world is significantly altered from those with whom I share this physical plane. If I could be made NT tomorrow the person who I call "myself" would be dead. I am more than the sum of my symptoms, but the sum of my symptoms is my reality.

Last edited by MidlifeAspie on 06 Jan 2011, 12:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If they found a way to safely reconfigure my brain to be NT I would jump at the chance to do it. I believe I still would have a love for stop-motion animation and horror films those things are deeply ingrained in my mind. The only exception would be I would be more out going and easier to like. I never really had a hard time attracting friends but I have never been able to keep them because I always want to be alone. Another great thing to come from it would be independence and the hopefully the ability to get a great job. I am tired of working at jobs where I am lowest paid person there and the butt of all the jokes. The life I have with autism in my opinion is not worth living. The only two things that keep me from blowing my brains out is how badly it would effect my parents and the possibility of missing out on some well done stop-motion movie that would blow me away by how good it is.

I wish I was born normal. Each time I have an Aspie moment, I feel so angry with myself, then I sit there thinking, ''why did I just do/say that?!''
I know it's a silly myth to say, ''all NTs succeed in life'', but I think that if I was born normal I would probably be in a job by now without this anxiety holding me back. If I was normal I would be able to work in retail without being ''afraid'' of the customers, or without difficulty with speaking to the customers properly. I've had so much experience in retail and I still am doing retail experience now (voluntary work in a charity shop), but my confidence with dealing with customers seem to have deteriorated. I am fine with other colleagues, and I've made some friends by going to the charity shop with others who are on job-seekers too, and I am proud of myself. But I've become very social phobic when it comes to having to ask and talk to strangers. I don't think all this would happen if I was normal, that's for sure.

And any job where I don't have to deal with customers wants people with good grades - which I don't have either. I don't think my AS is stopping me from getting these jobs - I think it's just because I'm useless, socially and intellectually.

Sometimes I think that I do, but the more I think about the more I realize that I wouldn't even recognize the person I would have been. I'd love football and would have never set foot in a comic book store sense I was 11. I'd hate fighting games because they're "the same old thing again" with too many moves to remember and would be playing shooters all the time. I'd hate math because its too hard. And I'd probably be a complete douche.
I only wish that I had a girl that understands me and cares about me, which I sort of do now, but she insists she likes me only as a friend. Just a small number of close friends that like the same things I do so that we'd have things to do together. And not as much difficulty getting a job.
If I had the power to choose, I'd actually prefer everyone was an Aspie and there were no NTs. Aspies are more intelligent and rational than most NT's, and have many gifts. I think we'd really make a lot more difference in the world, if we weren't hindered at every point by the world's inability to understand us.

Last edited by Brainiac5 on 06 Jan 2011, 1:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

is awesome, just for the record.
Not to thread-derail, but I'm a comics artist and a casual movie-lover myself. Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, anyone?

See, I'm just not so sure that a "cure" could take away our difficulties without also taking away the things that make us interesting human beings. I'm not saying that we're "boring except for our autism" as a group, but rather that being NNT is deeply woven into our selves, and that taking that away would leave completely different people, devoid of some of the complexities that made us so unique and interesting in the first place.

I know that can feel like a load of horse dung when you're feeling like you're never going to be able to establish a close relationship no matter how hard you try, but it's true to me.

I could not even imagine how school would have been for me if I had been born normal. I would have loved to have done 7th to 10th grade without the fear of being beaten up everyday. 11th to 12th grade was completely alien to me once I was bigger than the bullies and no one bothered me due to my explosive violent temper. Those last two years were great it would have been a better experience for me if my first two years went as easy. I would be a nicer more trusting person today instead of the hateful mean @sshole I am right now. If someone comes up to me acting nice to me I automaticaly go on the defensive talking whole bunch of mean spirited crap towards that person when all their doing is being nice to me for whatever reason.

Last edited by Todesking on 10 Jan 2011, 10:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.