Son spends too much time on the computer?

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Who is discriminating? Show me what you have accomplished. I will measure you on that alone.

You see this age thing under every rock. It pops up regularly in your posts. There are indeed people out there that will immediately dismiss you because you are "too young", whatever the hell that means. But you are just as bigoted if you assume that because I am 52 I measure you with a different ruler because of your age.

If you can't see value in my experience (note that experience needs time and time means age) then you are just as guilty of age centered judgments as anyone that looks past you because you are young.

But I'm an old fusty man. WTF do I know?

kfisherx,

You were given the chance to come to the conclusion that you needed a better work/life balance on your own, Then defined what that meant to you. As you mentioned it took you to the age of 40, looking back on yourself at 7 do you really think that you could have comprehended it then? Could you have gotten to the position you are in now if you here not able to indulge your creativity as a kid?

I don't think that balance can be taught to anyone by force. If you never understand the balance people try and impose on you in the first place, the moment you are free to make your own decisions it will all collapse.

My vote would be try and find a course in graphics design, design competitions etc. Finding other people who are obsessive, and have similar interests i think is important. if you see that other people's comments or opinions can help you create better work in an area that you like often enough, eventually you might actually seek their opinion. Also being in a situation where going back to a computer and an interest is reasonably socially acceptable, when the rest fails makes it allot easier.

just being physically placed outside, or in proximity to other people and being told 'enjoy', I don't think teaches much.

And I'm with Asp-z on 'young grasshopper'. it's patronizing and the attempt a humor makes it more insulting. He never said that your opinion was less valuable because of his age, you immediately implied that his opinion was less valuable because of it.

You are so wrong.

I think you have a lot to offer.

You're just so convinced of your point of view that sarcasm is a good way to rattle your cage. The fact that you are so easily rattled means more than you realize.

If, when addressing you, I said, "you're wrong there, you silly old man", I'm sure you'd react in a similar way to the way I do.

People need to respond to my posts based on what I've said instead of making it personal. It's as simple as that. If people instead insist on bringing my age into things where it isn't relevant, then if anything, they make themselves look weaker, because it's like they're saying, "I can't respond to the points you've made, so I'll just insult you."

I don't assume that older people are all like this, I don't see where you got that idea from. But if someone shows themselves to have that attitude, I will defend myself against such bigotry.



You're not rattling anything. As I said, haters gonna hate.

Now that I own my own laptop, I am able to freely use it whenever desired. However, when I was younger and I was prone to over-using my parents computer, they limited my time that I was allowed to use their computer, quite dramatically I believe, to about 45 minutes per 24 hours.

Still wrong.

No hate here.

Unless you have some within you.

Oh come on now, it was a joke. A kindly, well-meaning joke made from experience.
I used exactly the same phrase on my nephew when he came up with something way out of his depth regarding electronics and having spent some 40-odd years working with it, I knew he was out of his depth.

That joke wasn't directly discriminatory about your (or his) age but like it or not, experience only comes with age.

experience comes with time and work, age only indicates that you have been present, not necessarily how much you have learned.

I don't think you gain experience very quickly working within your depth.

(i have no idea, what or how much you know, I am speaking in general)

Hmm, Ok.
With the single word "age" I implied both age in physical years and the length of time spent applying oneself to a particular discipline, and the knowledge and detail gained therefrom. And obviously, learning only comes through pushing boundaries - otherwise we'd all just be treading water, right?

Sorry that wasn't made clearer.

Thank you for your thoughtful responses.

Maybe I should completely give up the Internet and computers except for paying bills. By not using the computer, I would set a good example for my boy.

I do not own a television or a mobile phone because I believe that both items are not psychologically healthy for my family. I could be wrong about the negative influence of television and mobile phones.

Thank you again for your responses.

I'm glad there were no computers when I was young. When I was little I wanted to know everything. I wished there was a machine that could answer all my questions. It was a long time before the machine was invented, so instead all I could do was play with neighborhood kids, ride a bicycle, sit by the river in awe of nature, spend hours just thinking, imagining, and wondering about the world, learn to play the piano, spend summers walking the beach, exercising to get as healthy as possible, endless hours playing tennis, and so much more.

I didn't get all of my answers, but I think I got to experience more in life than I would have if there were computers and I had unlimited access. I don't think my health and fitness would of been as good, and I think I would of been less interested in pushing myself to be around people.

Computers came along and I got a little knowledge in College. I was mostly a visual person; the DOS format did not appeal to me. The little knowledge I had was enough to make the difference in getting my first real job. After that every job I got was because of my knowledge of Computers. It was the one real job skill that set me apart from others.

One thing I am sure of is that using Computers too much is not advantageous to maintaining good physical health. What we do in our youth affects us all our life. In general humans aren't designed to sit in one spot and focus on the same distance for long periods of time. Disregarding any addiction factor, breaking away for physical activity is vital for maintaining good health.

On the other hand some of us aren't designed to do too much hard labor, or may be physically disabled, so technology in general can be a blessing.

It sounds like the OP's child may have a career ahead of him in the IT field, dial up would probably be horribly frustrating to the child. I suggest a healthy balance of physical activities. A musical instrument of some kind would also be great if the child is interested. Maybe the child could be encouraged that the other activities will help him get even better at computers.

As far as Bill Gates, and some of the others that have been hugely successful in the tech field. Some of them are in their 50's now. I can't say what they were doing in their youth, but they weren't sitting in front of a Computer until they were close to adult age, because computers didn't exist then.

The oldest kids that started using Computers at four years old would probably be close to thirty now. I would hope that somewhere along the line they found enough physical activity to be enjoying good health at thirty. But, I wouldn't be surprised if some of those that didn't find a balance have problems with high blood pressure, carpal tunnel syndrome, ergonomic issues with their spine, vision issues, anxiety, depression, etc. No one has been using computers for much longer than 25 years, so the relationship between long term computer usage, and human health (mental & physical) is still in its infancy.

There is though, plenty of research that suggests a sedentary youth, can lead to health problems that are not normally seen until a person reaches middle age.

Mobile phones in some cases have actually saved lives. What if you went for a hike in the snow and became trapped during avalanche? You could call for help sooner than with a radio. It's happened before. TV's can be used to educate too. My brother used to watch grade 9 educational programs before he started school. He was always a smart boy that was interested in learning more.
Technology can be both a good and bad thing depending on how you use it.

I really don't think you should discourage this gift your son has. You just need to be able to limit his time on the computer. All your ideas will not work and I would find insulting if someone did them to me.
If you think an autistic child will stop doing something before you stop, you are sorely mistaken. Personally I love doing things that people aren't doing much, like reading actual books.
Encourage your son but also try get him to do other activities. Use a reward system or something. Reward him with computer time if he spends a few hours outside playing or something. It sounds like he has a career in it. What if you were actually successful in getting him off the computer and he forgot all that knowledge? Then what type of career could he have?

Have to agree on the TV, great for increasing family interaction and texting on a mobile phone can be horrible on the hands, along with other issues, some of which are controversial. The special effects and pace of TV keep getting faster and faster. It was slow and controlled for content when I was young. I think you set a great example.

Your son seems to be developing very useful realworld talents by using the internet. The internet seems to be a requirement to stay competitive in todays world. It sounds like it is overwhelmingly his special interest. Whatever mechanism you use that limits his usage in a positive way that works is great. It might take a little while to find what works, but you sound like the kind of father that will find the right solution.

So all us computer users are doing something bad?

You still haven't said what you think "good" is. Isn't this the real question? Is it possible that computers aren't even the question? You seem to have some conflicting ideas within yourself about what an acceptable life is and the place of technology in such a life.

Without computers there is a lot I wouldn't know about communication.

I have to echo this. I have been like that in younger years with the 286 of my parents and various DOS programs. My parents were torn between supporting and quelling my obsession. I think in the end, things turned out well for me. It helped me decide on a carreer, helped me find social contacts* and helped me find a significant other.

I know that luddites are gonna hate, but to me, it makes sense to support the obsessions of him and not to force him into old-fashioned and deprecated ideas of how his life is going to be. You are not living his life, puppygnu, this is HIS decision.

My parents also tried to limit my time on the computer and forced me to go outside for x hours. I never saw the point in that. There was nothing outside which seemed relevant to me**. It seemed to be a punishment just for being me and having interests. Remember that it is importnat how he will perceive the 'alternatives. Force him to go outside and do various other things you appreciate him to do and he will associate them with punishment.

* let me add a preemptive: stop jabbering about social contacts on the internet being less real! It s possible to form very deep andmeaningful contacts over the internet especially for Aspies who do not require as much nonverbal interaction.
** apart from things my parents didn't appreciate either like visiting the grandparents, whom my parents had a difficult relation with.