Do most therapists really not understand AS?

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I'm undiagnosed and this is one of the reasons it may remain that way... I'm not sure I could handle someone arguing with me about what I can and cannot do, how I feel or do not feel - someone making a judgement based on the mask and armor I've developed over the years rather than whats underneath it.

Hygiene... really? Simply terrifying.

What I really don't like is when I start asking them questions they can't answer.

"If it's ABC then why do I feel XYZ? What does that mean?" and so on...

When I do this with my GP, she can answer my questions. "If the problem is my stomach, why do I feel pain in my lower abdomen?" She has an answer and an explanation to back-up her answer to make sure that I understand.

I want this from a mental health professional. Even if the answers aren't as clear and mathematical, I want them to have a plan and a reason for that plan when they're diagnosing me. When he says, "It may be bipolar." I want him to have a serious motivation for saying that, an ability to answer my questions (all of which will oppose his tenuous suggestion) and provide back-up.

I really think therapists will throw away any suggestion of a diagnosis that you come in with. You're trying to help them understand you so you can be helped but I think it actually works against us to start naming conditions.

One problem that I'm seeing is that a lot of people who consider themselves experts on autism and AS are only familiar with the more severe forms of the disorder. They are probably good at what they do, but they should at least be aware that the less severe forms exist. It's fine if they want to specialize in the severe cases, but they should not be so quick to deny anything that is outside of their specialty.

I've been told that I can't have autism because I speak!! ! But then again I though rain man spoke as well!!

And I also cannot have any condition on the spectrum because I do not have an intellectual disability. In fact I am intellectually gifted, so that confuses the hell out of them.

My psychologist is brillant and understands me more than I could every wish for. But I think more than anything it is about her being able to think outside the box. She hates diagnosis for the most part, feels that they are all so similar in many ways and it only makes people feel worse, does not have pet therapy's, ie does not subscribe to only CBT, etc. Instead she simply looks at what the issues are and deals with them with what seems right. If CBT is not working you try something else. Pure logic really.

She does diagnose people as needed and will share that with them, but it is not something she does in the first session and if someone comes in for some small problem she is going to spend time diagnosing them, she'd rather deal with the issues. She's open about what therapy she thinks would help me with this and why, etc.

So many just see things as so black and white and the fact is none of these things are black and white, they are really quite gray. Autism is a spectrum condition and I really am in many ways on the extreme end and in other ways not. She did a Vineland Adaptive Behaviour Scale with me and I scored off the charts. I just did not exist. I scored 0 for social and emotional skills and then language above normal for one aspect and almost 0 for another. And it is that sort of thing that confuses the hell out of people. Add to that a high IQ and in most respects I am usually smarter than they are, and I am too complex to understand so they don't bother and label me with something else under the sun instead and blame it all on me.

I think they understand it better than the lay person but not as well as an actual aspie.

I only brought it up with one psychologist, who clearly wasn't specialized in it, but he did seem to acknowledge that it was a possibility. He suggested ear plugs (and maybe sunglasses, can't remember) for me when I brought up sensory sensitivities, and then emphasized the ways how what I was describing was true for a lot of people in social environments. He tried to give me some advice on how to make conversation and "improvise" with others. That stuff went in one ear and out the other because I feel generally uncomfortable in counseling and don't usually like to go back. I'm supposed to be seeing a more Asperger-experienced counselor soon, though, so we'll see.

Regarding the hygiene thing, I'd say my hygiene has always been moderate. I was raised to bathe regularly, brush my teeth twice a day, and so forth. I do have slightly lower standards than many when it comes to general house cleaning, but I'd still say I'm reasonably clean overall. Oddly, I just received some severe criticism (some of the most vitriolic I've ever had) that even went so far as to be abuse from a roommate (due to which I am now relocating), along the lines of "you're filthy," "you never clean," "you can't even keep yourself," and so forth.

That seems to be a common misconception.



That sounds like my psychiatrist. It seems rare. It seems like a lot of therapists are so tied into one approach that they refuse to consider any other.

My therapist is a lot like that. We've had some clashes in terms of meaning when I try to refer to diagnoses, and she keeps shifting away from diagnoses and talks about how a diagnosis identifies a selection of traits ... which I do know! ... and thus does not strictly define a person.

I like her approach but my mindset is pretty focused on using the labels. It's hard to shift those particular gears.

I'm still working on my psychiatrist. I'm trying to come up with good reasons why I want the label, even knowing the limitations and pitfalls.

It really comes down to: I want to be able to identify with the AS community, without having to justify my reasons for believing I have AS, or, even worse, having to prove that I have AS. I just find that I have so much in common with people that have AS.

I may not be diagnosed with AS at this time because of how much I learned.

So well put. Manny's comment makes me hopping mad and I wasn't even there

I'm glad to know that some of you have good or even great experiences with psychotherapists. I've come to despise the profession. But that might be because I had a rotten one, who acted oh so supportive when I saw her (4 plus years). She never mentioned ANY diagnosis for me and I only found out long after my sessions with her ended that she had diagnosed me with PTSD, delayed onset, given to the insurance company. She never mentioned AS at all and I had to figure that out on my own. I also had to figure out on my own why I had PTSD delayed onset. Yeah, got raped for six months by my high school teacher at a boarding school and mind f****d by the other teachers there who knew and did nothing. Wow was that hard to cough up after 35 years with no help. We aspies dont get other peoples motives but therapists do have them. Money grubbing being a prime motive for some. I think a lot of them are mental sadists as well. That's what I've come to think of the one I had. And she's the last I'll ever have.

As most therapists are trained to work with the mainstream population, I'd have to say that they aren't trained to properly deal with aspies.

My neuropsychologist has Aspergers so he knows where I coming from.

So it is possible. Maybe one day they will be findable, like women doctors.

yeah, wouldn't it be great if there was a directory of therapists with AS. while we're at it a good list of diagnosticians who know anything at all about adult women with AS would be nice.