What exactly is "mild" Aspergers?

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I know what you mean. I still feel a bit embarassed about describing myself as autistic because I feel like a fraud. I know that I am but I don't feel that I am. I feel normal. Because to me autistic is normal.

This makes sense to me.

I keep thinking I'm mild, and then I look at how I behave in stores or around people, and, I have no idea. Plus whatever I'd be rated as, I am at like the mid-high 30s on the GAF that Yensid linked, so I'm not exactly dealing with mild difficulties.

Last edited by Verdandi on 05 Mar 2011, 2:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm like you, surreal. I don't know if I have it or not.

On one hand, until I was 19, I didn't really talk to someone outside of my family or close circle. And I never verbally expressed my emotions or likes/dislikes, even to them. I only talked about ideas and logical theories. I remember this overwhelming fear at making eye contact with anyone, I "shut down" if I was out of my comfort zone, and took longer than most to be comfortable with anything. I never melted down, only shut down. I have never gotten upset about anything, just overwhelmed. I had various interests that I could discuss, but only in an abstract way. I stimmed (still do), didn't know left from right (still don't), and never did anything that someone else hadn't done before me. And a lot of sensory information was, and still is, rather annoying, but it never makes me upset, just confused, and good luck trying to talk to me with it going on, I can't focus worth a dime.

On the other hand, now I seem pretty NT. I met a person who showed interest in me despite my quirks, and I realized I could mimic people to seem normal. I've gotten really good at it, I think. I can carry on conversations reasonably well, even with people I don't know. I even have a close group of friends. I usually think I'm not scared of large crowds and not as annoyed at getting out of my comfort zone. I rarely shut down. And I've learned to express my emotions and likes and dislikes. My sister says "It's like for a long time you didn't have a personality, and now you do." I am doing extremely well in college, and I suppose I could probably live on my own if need be (though I'm dreading it!) I am very capable, and very independent... as long I'm in control.
So then I go "well, maybe I'm NT and I've just grown out of being introverted when I was younger"

Then, I will get way out of my comfort zone, completely shut down, be unable to but two sentences together, not be able to look anyone in the eye again, and my movements become jerky. It is so odd because I know I should be able to function and it isn't a scary situation, but I can't. And I really don't think that is NT. I also still dread talking to people and will go out of my way to avoid it. Unless I consider it my "job" then I am fine. And there is a rather large organization I'm a part of, that almost everything they do becomes in my comfort zone because I trust certain people there so much. So since I am almost always "in" my comfort zone, I rarely have moments when I shut down anymore.

But the major thing that makes me think I'm an aspie, is that no matter how "normal" I seem, it is always like I'm "pretending" with all my words and actions. I'm just a good actor and can almost do so naturally now. And that is how I've heard it described by people who have it.

Hi Chronos!

I think I've got the sensory part down, I came to realize a long time ago that *anything* can cause a sensory issue, right down to how the air feels when blowing on your neck through an open window. I have a *lot* of sensory issues myself, especially related to smell and touch, so that's always been an easy one for me in regards to what might be bothering him. lol, we sometimes will almost simultaneously exclaim something like "oh man, what is that smell?" or we'll look at each other and instantly know that we are smelling the same thing at the same time (cigarette smoke is a big one), and yet no one else can smell what we're smelling.

But the transition, I just never realized how many things involve transition, even what may seem to be nothing to someone else can be such an overwhelming change for someone with transition troubles -- quiet to sound, light to dark, not being touched to being touched, dad making him get out of his (dad's) chair and making him (Cameron) sit on the couch or elsewhere, clothes to pajamas and back, brush to comb, anything and everything can have a transition attached to it.

Even, as you wrote, what may seem like a ritual or routine, can in actuality be related to a problem with transition or an avoidance of a transition, and even without the person experiencing it realizing that that is what is truly happening.

I'm thinking back now and I'm like "oh my gosh!" and "oh my gosh!" and "oh my gosh!" lol as I remember incidences that, until now, baffled me as to what was happening.

You just *really* opened my eyes, on no less of a scale than when Asperger's was originally suggested to me and I looked it up online and realized that the articles were describing *my* son, that the various writers must have been looking over my shoulder watching my son as they wrote those articles (as most every caring parent with a "late-diagnosed" child experiences, I've heard).

I'm actually going to devote a page or a section, or whatever it takes, at my website about this, and it is 100% thanks to you that I will be able to bring this to the attention of many more parents and caregivers.

I don't know how to invite you to contact me directly without posting my email address here but if you are so inclined, please visit my contact page at http://www.aspergers-and-pdd.com/contact-us.html and write to me and then I can give you my email address without publishing it online (I get so, so much spam due to bots that crawl webpages), and we can chat and you can contribute anything you'd like that you feel would help parents to understand. I'll give you full credit, or no credit, it's entirely up to you. If you decide not to contact me, I will not be offended in any way.

No matter where we go from here, thank you SO MUCH for this enlightenment! I am incredibly inspired to start writing about this and getting it posted at my website for other parents to read.

I know I may sound overly enthusiastic, to the point of being insincere, but please know that I am absolutely 100% sincere in my thank you.

Diane

@ Daina

Um...no. At least to ME, that would not be NT. I've not seen or heard of an NT shutting down outside his comfort zone. And it's strange that you mention this because NOW that I look at what you said against my own situation, that is what happened to me after high school. And it took me a long time to recover from it to a point where I could half-way function.

Sensory-wise...when I go to the clubhouse to play cards and there's too much noise -- SHUTDOWN. Trying to fight it only makes my ability to focus on the game worse. I've learned to retreat to my cell phone to play Spades (instead of Bid Whist IRL). I get so into it that I completely blank out everything around me. And when someone tries to get my attention, they have to call my name several times before I hear them - even though s/he is right next to me! It's like on sitcoms when a character is daydreaming. But I'm a little better when I do come out of it.

I would say that I am mild but that is really only regarding the whole AS spectrum, I am on the milder end of it, so to speak.

There is still a pretty big gap between me and NTs and some big, fundamental differences which makes it difficult for me to understand them or vice versa.

Autism is like food colouring, you only need half a teaspoon of it to colour the food very differently and brightly.

Magic food coloring because it also imparts wonderful exotic tastes that can't be found anywhere else.

@ Surreal
I suppose shutting down isn't that normal. But what do NT's do when they get outside their comfort zone then? I've probably only shut down once in the past four months, so I'm getting better at it. Well, I've had some mini-shutdowns, but nothing where I can't respond.
I hate too much noise. I don't even drive with the radio on most of the time, lol. But what you do when you shutdown sounds familiar. Some people have told me that I will get so much into something I use to cope, like drawing, that it will take them several times before I will answer. But I'm paying attention, my brain is just trying to defragment and even if I think I responded so they know I'm listening or understood what they were saying, sometimes I haven't.

Actually, virtually all judgement of severity is based not on a person's actual levels of difficulty with the majority of tasks, but on superficial appearances. That goes for all autistic people of all kinds. Even when it's based on abilities, it's normally based on 1-4 abilities, when there are dozens of abilities affected by autism.

(Making things more complicated, we don't know what autism is. Perhaps mild autism makes people less functional than severe autism overall. It's impossible to know right now. But weirdly enough by some definitions of severity there's support for that idea.)

Well, because autism is a spectrum disorder of course there will be variants. I guess mild would simply be "mild" compared w/more obviously severe forms of AS, not as to mean the symptoms don't really affect the person in question. If they didn't, wouldn't that person just be an NT?

I am undiagnosed but I think I probably have mild AS. My symptoms cause me trouble, but not to the point where I cannot hold a job or have conversations with others. I find most of my issues occur AFTER getting to know people. I feel close to basically no one, except for my mother and a very few friends. I don't feel comfortable entering a relationship. I have strange ways of expressing empathy. This puts me on the periphery of others and it is deeply felt...by me. But most people don't even realize I have these issues.

I think that is the point. You are different anyway and you have issues due to that - also doing intentionally what other do spontaneoulsy is very tiring. But it makes a difference in terms of functioning and life perspectives.

That's really interesting. How would that work?

I'm not certain what anbuend is referring to, but I am sure that certain combinations of traits are worse than others.

My mother is probably more severe than I am, at least in some areas. She is so focused on her interests, that she is somewhat oblivious to the world. Things just seem to bounce off of her. While I am bothered by things that go wrong, she barely notices them unless they interfere with her interests. She does not worry about things that could go wrong. When things go wrong she just expects that someone will fix them. She is fortunate in that my father was and now I am around to fix things for her. She is naive and trusting, expecting people to be trustworthy, so the stresses of life just seem to pass by her. Usually her naive view of the world works out well for her, because most people are honest. When people are not honest, she assumes that someone else will fix the problem for her. She does not understand how much stress it can cause others in order to fix her problems. Overall, she is probably a lot happier than I am.

- I would say AS is 'mild' when its not disabling; when it manifests merely in the form of a somewhat eccentric personality, but it doesn't actually prevent the individual in question from doing anything significant, e.g. getting a decent career, being independent, having successful relationships. There are many people on WP who meet this definition of 'mild'. They're often the ones who think it's fantastic to have Aspergers, whilst others are going through hell.

- The Autistic spectrum is both horizontal and vertical, i.e. it isn't just a question of the overall severity of AS, but the severity of individual aspects of it. For example, my social skills were never that bad, but my common sense was awful. Others have reasonably good common sense but awful social skills.

- The overall severity of one's AS can improve, sometimes dramatically, so it's not a fixed diagnosis. Brains are 'plastic' not 'metal'.

Seems to me that mild AS is said when they want to downplay that persons issues.

If you're measuring severity and functionality in different ways (ie severity - stimming, functionality - selfcare), they could easily end up unrelated or negatively related.

Nope, severity has nothing to do with happiness. http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=204

I don't know whether this is related to "mildness", anyway I think I am entitled to speak just for me, whether I say having AS is fantastic or a hell.