Do you allow people to see you upset?

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anbuend
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17 Mar 2011, 7:22 am

turkey87953 wrote:
No, no one outside my imediate family has ever seen me upset,exited,angry or anything and even then my own family dont see these, i dont know about it being an aspie thing because my freind who also has aspergers crys all the time and i dont think she cares who sees it.


Something can be an autistic thing, and yet not have every autistic person have it. In fact, there is no single autistic trait where every autistic person has that exact expression of that exact trait. (At least not on the obvious observable level.)


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OJani
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17 Mar 2011, 10:57 am

When I feel upset, it is usually written on my face. My closest friend reads it very well, even when I don't feel it too much. I'm not sure that a typical NT can read it, though.

In public, I can go on showing excessive emotions. For example, when there were severe problems with my girlfriend regarding our relationship, it was very obvious to my colleagues: I spoke in the phone loudly, and sometimes shed tears when I had no time to hide in the lavatory and emotions seemed to inevitably overwhelm me.

Meltdowns are different. These can happen from time to time in public. I try to minimize their effect.


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loli
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21 May 2011, 9:00 am

I try not to let people see me cry . I feel angry when they do .

I have a lot of problems feeling the correct emotion . I know I should be feeling [i][i][i][i]s[/i]ome[/i]thi[/i]ng [/i] when people talk to me their troubles but I often am just want them to hurry hurry up and leave me to do what I was doing . other times I want to feel whatever it is i suppose to but it isn't there .

people usually know what i feeling . it surprise me . it is difficult for me to figure out what they are feeling though .



kx250rider
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21 May 2011, 12:23 pm

It depends. I allow my wife to see anything and everything in my emotions, but I'd moderate and modulate emotions carefully when others are around; whether they be friend, acquaintance, businesspeople, or strangers I will never see again (vs. strangers I might again meet).

As far as crying, my wires are all crossed over. I never cried when sad; only extremely happy, and also when I'm tired. When I'm very tired at the end of the day, people who don't know me, think I'm bawling (but no sound), as my whole face is covered with tears, and even my shirt gets wet at the collar from tears.

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proxybear
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21 May 2011, 12:37 pm

I'm never upset, so no.



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23 May 2011, 12:25 pm

I often do. When I get upset, I very quickly reach the point of not caring who sees me in such a state...



Noura4eva
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14 Mar 2016, 1:57 pm

I rarely cry and I would hide from anyone if I were likely to cry.

The only place i ever remember crying openly in front of people was at my parents funerals, but it
may have been I was overcome with emotion.

One of my daughters saw me cry once and was so shocked that i did cry.

If i do feel a strong need to cry I would go to room alone and cry a little then stop myself the best I could.

It was ok to cry in my house when we grew up, it was not frowned upon, although I don't remember anyone really crying.



Pergerlady
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14 Mar 2016, 2:20 pm

I used to be very open, but realized that people find it annoying if I express my emotions, so now I keep them bottled up. I think that autistic children become overwhelmed easily, and people reprimand them, which causes them to learn to hide their emotions around others.



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14 Mar 2016, 2:22 pm

Tried not letting anyone know, yet sometimes I cannot help it.


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TheSilentOne
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14 Mar 2016, 3:08 pm

I try not to, but sometimes it happens.


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14 Mar 2016, 3:09 pm

Since my emotions are too childish, I tent to hold them in. I just do it naturally. I also don't like to have people see me cry or get upset. If anyone thinks I am doing good despite that they can tell something is wrong, that means I am doing a good job hiding it still. With my family I have no problem showing them because I feel it's a safe spot for it and I know they won't judge me for it. But out in public or at work, I try to hide it more. The anxiety makes it nearly impossible to hide it so that is why I would have meltdowns and outbursts and act out.


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TheAP
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14 Mar 2016, 3:16 pm

Yes, I do. I can't help it.



Raleigh
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14 Mar 2016, 3:26 pm

When I melt down there's no way I can keep my emotions in check.
They're beyond my control.
So yes, people have seen me upset but I wish it was otherwise.
It's very embarrassing for me.


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14 Mar 2016, 3:37 pm

I try very hard, but if I am feeling very intensely, I can't help it.

I try not to let anger or sadness/disappointment explode either in yelling or tears, but it seeps out. If it is a *very* strong feeling, I won't be able to contain it. Though if I am angry, I am more likely to shake than to yell (unless I am talking to a family member.)

If I am happy or excited, I don't try so hard to hide that. It won't hurt anyone if I jump around a little bit. They just might think I'm weird. Who cares.



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14 Mar 2016, 4:04 pm

For me, it is not a question of allowing it. I do not notice my emotions until they are very strong, unless someone else tells me. And then, by the time they are strong enough for me to notice (basically a meltdown), they are too strong for me to control.


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Joe90
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14 Mar 2016, 4:47 pm

Where I come from you get ridiculed like anything if you express emotion in public, except for casual happiness when with somebody. If you express any other emotions - especially when on your own - you get all kinds of funny looks. It was hard for me a few weeks ago when I had a panic attack out in public, and really wanted to cry. I had to hold back tears until I got home. It seems to be considered ''embarrassing'' if you're seen crying in public and you're over the age of 7 or 8, unless there's a really obvious reason that would make others cry, like a terrorist attack, or somebody collapsed, etc.

I think I express my feelings too much though. Even when I was a child I was very verbal about my feelings, a bit too verbal actually. I do as an adult too. I feel better when I tell somebody about how I feel. I find it impossible to keep my feelings bottled up. I don't know how so many Aspies do it.


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