Talking on the phone

Post Reply New Topic

I hate the phone, end of. Unless it's someone I'm really comfortable with, my mum, sisters or one friend I'm a bag of nerves. By the time I hang up I'm sweating like mad and I've got a headache and then I start worrying if I said something stupid or not. I don't usually answer unless I know who it is, I let the machine do that first. And if I have to make a call I write myself a little script first so I don't get too stuck but if I do I just hang up and pretend we got cut off. The worst thing for me is not being able to lip-read as it all sounds a bit jumbled up, especially if it's someone with a strong accent. I can't very well say I can't understand your English so I have to ask them to talk slowly as I have a problem with phones ( soooo embarrassing). I find the same jumbled up noisy thing when watching telly actually, I have to keep rewinding to understand what they're on about. I tend to lip-read there too. I also have the usual is it my turn thing and invariably talk over someone or stay mute. I find it really stressful and the awful thing is I have to make my elderly mum's phone calls for her and tend to make a complete fool of myself on a regular basis (the list of faux pas are endless). I always make a phone call with a pen and paper to hand and make notes or I'll forget what was said as I'm concentrating so hard.

I prefer landlines too, I can't hear on my mobile phone at all when I'm out as all the street noise and people make it impossible to decifer. And also when I text I like to use 'proper' language and punctuation which is why I'm not keen on texting - it takes forever!

Tiffinity.

I definitely have trouble talking on the phone.

Unless it’s a member of family or someone I’m very, very familiar with, I simply don’t answer (thank god for caller ID).

Then then usually leave a message, with a brief outline of what they want. This then give me time to formulate the conversation in my mind and figure out what to say, when I call then back.

Anyone else do that?

I picked 'Aspie and no'.

I don't generally have major difficulty with talking on the phone, though I generally dislike communicating by telephone calls. I feel that it has all the disadvantages of face-to-face conversation (opportunities for interruption, lack of time to fully lay out one's thoughts, etc.) with none of the benefits (ability to illustrate one's point with non-verbal communication, lack of financial constraints on time spent talking and therefore the depth into which one can discuss any given subject, etc.). With most people, I find it easier to leave telephone calls for arranging meetings, and things of that nature; the only person I like to have proper conversations with on the phone is my partner.

On a vaguely related note, I do have this fear of answering the phone if I can't tell who's calling. I'm slowly working on this...

I hate talking on the phone. I have difficulty actually rationalizing why I dislike it. I think it might have something to do with unpredictability, because I can write better than I can talk. I also don't like to leave voice messages because I feel like I'm talking to a wall.

I voted 'aspie and no'

But honestly the only phone-calls I have are to make appointments, which tend to be very formal, so that's easy. The other are to my mom and what she needs to bring from the store.

I do have issues with hanging up though, I always need the last word because I don't know when it's ok to hang up.. Timing at the end is also fail most of the time. If I had people that actually called me to chat I'd probably vote 'aspie and yes'.

Im terrible with phones really.

I voted "aspie and yes". The hardest for me is to know when to talk, it can be pretty akward when I hesitate for too long :<

I'm an aspie, and I have a very hard time talking on the phone. It's even worse when I have to phone somebody that I don't know like a person at a restaurant or a store. Some people are too lazy to try to understand anybody's accent but their own.

I hate it.

First, there is the fact they chose to call. Nothing of worth has ever been communicated by phone. Suppose they had just been stabbed, or I had been stabbed. A phone call would simply consist of screaming. There's a reason why 911 services use gps locators: because that's the only really important information even in a life-and-death phone call.

Second, the noise.

Third, and worst: people act differently on phones. It's as if they feel less constrained by time, and now have the chance to really explore the space of small talk. They may get to the point in 20 seconds, then spend several minutes exiting the conversation. They may relish the opportunity to bellow about their bowel movements in public while simultaneously grasping at any reason to continue the conversation.

For me, it's impossible to end a call without saying "What's that? I can't he-" and then hanging up mid-word.

Aspie here. I used to hate talking on the phone and was rubbish at it. It'd take me about 30 minutes to get myself prepared for making a phone call. Now I'm not so bad, but I've been told I come across as slightly abrupt. It helps if it's someone I know closely, then I'm certainly not so bad but I'd still say it's my least favourite form of communication.