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3 yr old autistic boy banned from public transport. VENT!

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twinsmummy20
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12 Apr 2011, 9:50 am

Janissy wrote:
twinsmummy20 wrote:
Im with you. I am a mother and I can see the situation in my head clearly, I dont understand why anyone is NOT seeing what happened unless they are not a parent. Parents of NTs and AS children do this ALL. THE. TIME. It is NOT unusual to let your kids go ahead of you a short distance while you take care of something. A bus is only so big, her kids were not going a mile from her, nor could they go far, its a bus. You can see everyone while standing at the front. And who cares if they sit in the same seats every day? When we go to church we sit in the same pew. We call it our pew. When a visitor sits there and we have to move my kids say "Someone sat in our pew?" They are NT so there is no melt downs. But I can imagine this would be difficult for a child with AS.

I think everyone is reading far to much into what she could have done wrong instead of what the bus driver and company blatently did wrong.


Except in the OP it didn't happen quite like that. If the kids had gotten on in front of her (as my daughter routinely does) and then gone down the aisle of the bus, there may have been no problem. But the kids went in through a different door than her, meaning that they were outside the bus while she was in the front with the driver. Thus the driver yelled about the kid who had been run over by a bus recently elsewhere. He was probably scared that the children could potentially run around behind the exterior of the bus. They didn't. But at that young age it's a risk.


See now your stretching this and assuming things. Just because they went in different doors doesnt mean they were outside without her, which I HIGHLY doubt was the case. She probably walked them to the door, shoed them in and then went to the front door. But either way, that isnt the main issue.

The issue is the boy flapping and jumping at the bus stop which the mom was clearly with him. AND on a harness which means he isnt going anywhere. She put the harness straps over the animals heads when she put them on the bus. I dont understand why this is so confusing.



leejosepho
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12 Apr 2011, 10:04 am

twinsmummy20 wrote:
The issue is the boy flapping and jumping at the bus stop which the mom was clearly with him. AND on a harness which means he isnt going anywhere. She put the harness straps over the animals heads when she put them on the bus. I dont understand why this is so confusing.

Okay, so suppose the driver believed all was well until he had come to a stop and the mother had then appeared inside his door all alone ...

The driver certainly acted wrongly/poorly, but that does not prove it was wrong for him to act after being frightened and/or while legitimately concerned.


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wefunction
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12 Apr 2011, 10:54 am

Well, regardless of whether or not you could have done more to keep your children contained and regardless of whether or not the bus driver is having a secret personal crisis that would explain his outburst and regardless of whether or not the entire bus design is to blame for being so backwards, I think it really sucks that you experienced being yelled at by a stranger, especially when you tried your best to resolve the situation. I also think it sucks that you had the courage to pursue a complaint about your experience only to get treated even more poorly. I'm sorry you went through that. I don't think it should have happened.



redwulf25_ci
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12 Apr 2011, 1:26 pm

Solvejg wrote:
Today I get a phone call back from the bus company. Of course they take the bus drivers word for my son being on the road and him only "giving me a talking to because i am a young girl who needs a wake up call about my child's behaviour." The outcome is that My son is not aloud to catch the companies buses unless he is "suitably restrained." :x It was also mentioned that my son should be wearing something that identifies him as Autistic. 8O


Like what, a gold puzzle piece?



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12 Apr 2011, 1:29 pm

leejosepho wrote:
Solvejg wrote:
Even if the bus driver didn't know and was worried about it so raised his voice. Why did he continue to yell more after i advised him he was autistic? Seems quite silly to me. :?

Just as the driver does not know the details of your life, neither do you understand his. He has a route to cover within an allotted time and he is allowed "zero tolerance" in relation to running over people. His yelling and lecturing were unacceptable, yet they are completely understandable.


He could have been stressed out with his work. I have been on buses and every now and then there be a conflict between the passenger and driver and it get scary because I wouldn't know if the passenger was going to take out a gun and shoot it and that be when it start to get personal between them. Yeah I get paranoid in those situations. I hate real life dramas and was relieved when i found out those feelings I get are normal. Then other times I don't get scared because it all depends.

Solvejg, have you tried holding the harness close to you so they can't get far and get all tangled up?



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12 Apr 2011, 1:33 pm

KBerg wrote:
Well, if someone steps in front of me suddenly and I can't stop in time, we collide and fall down I might yell at them for being inconsiderate jerks. But if it turned out they were blind or had severe vision problems I'd be the jerk if I then kept piling on after finding out why the incident happened. Sometimes we make allowances for people's limitations, like not screaming at old people to hurry up. I'm with her, yelling at people after they explain is a d**k thing to do.



I'd call that an innocent mistake. And you can tell if someone is blind, they usually have the service dog with them that says for the blind, or have this stick with them blind people use and some of them wear dark glasses. That's how I can tell. I'm sure someone with vision problems would have the same too but they usually wear glasses. I don't see who wouldn't unless they couldn't afford another pair.



leejosepho
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12 Apr 2011, 5:26 pm

League_Girl wrote:
He could have been stressed out with his work ...

Sure, or maybe he really is just a jerk. I once rode a Greyhound bus driven by someone as tough as any boot-camp drill sargeant, and that made my wife afraid to even speak up when he almost drove off and left me at a brief stop after he had said nobody should get off to smoke and I had done so anyway.


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12 Apr 2011, 5:42 pm

leejosepho wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
He could have been stressed out with his work ...

Sure, or maybe he really is just a jerk. I once rode a Greyhound bus driven by someone as tough as any boot-camp drill sargeant, and that made my wife afraid to even speak up when he almost drove off and left me at a brief stop after he had said nobody should get off to smoke and I had done so anyway.


I think some of the bus drivers here are jerks like the other night I got on the bus after work and some guy knocked on the door as we started to move. He stands there and he looked special needs. But the bus driver goes "What are you hitting the bus for, you should have been here sooner if you want on" and he starts moving again and then I tell him "He wants on" and the driver goes "forget it, he hit the bus, safety first" and then he goes on about how stupid the guy is and how some people don't follow safety. I asked what should he have done different and he didn't even answer. :roll:

I had no idea hitting the door was an unsafe thing to do because I have seen others do it when the bus start moving.

I thought that driver was a jerk.



twinsmummy20
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12 Apr 2011, 7:56 pm

League_Girl wrote:
leejosepho wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
He could have been stressed out with his work ...

Sure, or maybe he really is just a jerk. I once rode a Greyhound bus driven by someone as tough as any boot-camp drill sargeant, and that made my wife afraid to even speak up when he almost drove off and left me at a brief stop after he had said nobody should get off to smoke and I had done so anyway.


I think some of the bus drivers here are jerks like the other night I got on the bus after work and some guy knocked on the door as we started to move. He stands there and he looked special needs. But the bus driver goes "What are you hitting the bus for, you should have been here sooner if you want on" and he starts moving again and then I tell him "He wants on" and the driver goes "forget it, he hit the bus, safety first" and then he goes on about how stupid the guy is and how some people don't follow safety. I asked what should he have done different and he didn't even answer. :roll:

I had no idea hitting the door was an unsafe thing to do because I have seen others do it when the bus start moving.

I thought that driver was a jerk.


Whenever I see someone trying to catch a bus I always say to myself "Please stop bus driver, please stop! " I always feel bad when someone is just out of reach. You know they were trying to get there on time, Ive seen many hit the bus and didnt realize they didnt like that.



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12 Apr 2011, 8:54 pm

I'm not sure but maybe she had to pay up front and her kids were itching to get to their seats. I've been a running around, playful and demanding autistic child myself. My mum wouldn't want me under feet while she had to pay the bus driver.

Anyway, the bus driver was a jerk. He didn't have to yell like that. Stressful job or not. Cab drivers don't yell that much abuse.


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