Aspies - are you independent?

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I don't believe that anyone is truly independent. Everyone is interdependent with many other people in myriad ways.

But, according to conventional definitions of being independent, I mostly am. I rent a house, I pay bills, I cook and eat and take care of myself, and sometimes even do housecleaning. I'm successful at university. I do need help with paperwork and other administrative things; I doubt I could handle owning a house as opposed to renting one.

If the world wasn't so damn judgmental on people's personality as opposed to their skills and talents then I would be independent. Instead I'm stuck living with my parents, unemployed, and with two college degrees with absolutely no value to the world cuz I can't smile or make proper conversation.

Not really given a choice - independant by circumstance. No telling what would have happened if life played out differently.

I have a wife, so I can't really say that I live independently.

But we have our own house, our own cars, and our own jobs.

Does that count?

I am not on any kind of government assistance but I am totally financially dependent on family. I don't think I would be able to support myself at a job in a "real" work environment. There are jobs I can see myself enjoying-- or at least being good at-- in terms of the actual work involved, but the people-interaction is so painful & impossible, plus other issues I have make it virtually impossible. I'm lucky in that money will probably never be a worry for me in terms of having enough to get by on-- I'm good at living cheaply.

In terms of self care I'm pretty good, can do my own laundry, cook, keep myself bathed, and I can keep things sort of clean. But even with household stuff I have help and am not sure I could do it totally on my own.

Hmm, I can't be the only aspie with children to take care of? I thought independent implies "normal", which included making enough money, maintain a marriage and raise children? Or does it just mean taking care of yourself?

I wouldn't worry yourself too soon - I had absolutely no sleep for three and a half days once. You'll pass out eventually - I woke up on the floor with no idea how I got there last time. Just out cold.
The independence thing just annoys me. My family are extremely controlling, intrusive and invasive and I can't stand it. I'm very private to the point of secretiveness, and would rather go without than accept help. I can care for myself - I'm neat because I'm minimalistic and utilitarian, so don't really have anything that's non-essential. I'm clean and mindful of cleaning myself regularly. I require no emotional support and actually find it uncomfortable when people try to give it. I do forget to eat, sometimes for a few days if occupied, but you can go several weeks without food before you die and I obviously remember before then. I'm odd, but I can communicate okay most of the time on practical matters. Not always, but mostly. I am very organized so long as my notebook is within reach (I have bad memory, especially short term, thus drive everyone nuts with lists and post-its reminding me of everything). I am a good cook and cook for myself, do my own shopping, drive/look after the car, pay bills, keep appointments.
What gets me is work. I burn out spectacularly. I have worked some professional full-time jobs before, and it's great at first - but then I can't sleep, I start feeling like it's oppressive, I can't see the end or a way out as it just goes on and on, same thing every day, I start shutting down and forget how to do simple things like drive or talk, start getting depressive and so on.
I'm moving on to another full-time job at the moment, and am just really hoping this one will be different. I would be the picture perfection of aspie independence if I could just manage to keep a job longer than a year!

I'm 24, but still live at home. I've never lived on my own before, but I have become slowly more independent recently.

I've got a full-time job, I buy my own food and clothes. I have a car, pay the insurance. I make my own medical appointments and pay my own bills.

It makes me feel a little ashamed, compared to most people my age. I know I'm behind. I'm glad I found this place so I can relate and not feel so alone.

Yes; I can take care of myself; I drive, shop, cook, take care of my own personal matters and all that jazz. Financially, I was at one point, moved out of my parent's home, rented a room and was on my own but last year things fell apart and I had to move back home. I am in transition right looking at a career change. I'm hoping once I retrain for my new career that I can be on my own again.

My co-workers were amazed at my still living at home and not driving especially being over 30 they all considered me to be really intelligent but really backwards in some ways. I have no idea how to live on my own I can't remember to pay bills. I would forget to go to doctors visits if it weren't for my parents. If was not for my dad giving me a ride to work I would not have been able to get there when I had a job. I would take a bus but I get lost everytime I take ride on one. I dread the day my father dies because he is my ride to jobs and my kidney doctor. I remember to take my high blood pressure pills because it's now apart of my routine but my psrents still ask me if I took my pills out of fear that I have the potential to forget for days. My brother is constantly amazed at the things I can do and the things I cannot.

I live off of unemployment insurance.

Sometimes I do things for others by natural urge to help somebody I relate to. For example, I helped my twin sister to choose an own apartment (with the financial help of our parents). I spoke with the folk who offered the property for sale. Actually, I'm good at this, I figured out people in these situations well before. The key is, only in these situations...

I have been thinking about opening a topic about helping others but not helping ourselves to the same degree (e.g. by making decisions, giving concrete advices, doing something for them, even financially). It's weird, but it happens all the time with me.

I've always been independent-minded, and in fact have hated it if anyone interferes with my personal space or things like my housekeeping and laundry, or my preparing meals and eating, etc. My parents both died before I was 21, and I was dropped into position of head of household too soon. But on the other hand, since I was old enough to reach the washing machine, I did my own laundry, and have always made my own meals. I'm a clean and neat freak, and I just like it better MY way, even though other people in the household think it's courteous to offer to do or help with those things. I've lived alone at times, but ironically after all I just wrote, I do like companionship in the house. My wife is the perfect one for that . She is never in my way, but is always here for me. We've been together for 5 years, and known each other several years before that. I used to live with my ex-girlfriend for 9 years, and in fact she was dependent on me for $upport (and still IS). I'm working on that problem. Despite the one-way relationship and her cheating on me, I still liked having the companionship. And she didn't mess with my housekeeping, and in fact she didn't mess with her own either. She's still in my old place, and I nearly cry when I go over there and see the condition it's in.

So the bottom line is that I've always been independent when it comes to living alone if needed, but prefer not. Handling of assets is not my strong point, so I seemed to always need to work harder or earn more, or sell things on eBay, in order to keep afloat. I also am working on that, so as not to "blow it" when choices are to be made with regard to finances.

Charles

I am more independent than some, but less so than most, I think. I live in my own place, but I have staff 30 hours a week plus my mom comes once or twice to help me out. I don't cook without someone here, so I mostly live on organic, vegetarian burritos, frozen mac n cheese, yogurt, and protein shakes. I can drive, kind of, but I can't actually get out of the car and go in anywhere without a panic attack. I don't work (except babysitting for one friend, and I have staff when I do that). I can't really leave my apartment without help.

But, the basic day-to-day activities of dressing (well, I can't dress for the weather, so I have to have help actually choosing the clothes), toileting, and eating, I can handle.

I have one biological child and two step-children (who have known me for the past 10 years).

I don't think there is a normal. Just varying states of dysfunction...

Same here. Very independent yet not good at supporting myself financially. I like following my own schedule and hate being told what to do.