AS discovered as adult anyone?

Post Reply New Topic

Yeah, that happens with a lot of autistic adults, I hear. And yes, it is kind of incredible.

The building up of behavior gradually is definitely a thing - I actually did another thing which was consciously construct fronts for particular situations, although most of them were based on the same core stuff. I've let go of some - but not all - of it, and I feel like maintaining it was a large drain on my energy and probably a significant contributor to my depression over the years.

As 44 year old, i must say that when i first heard of AS, it was one of those aha experiences! But a short story is needed.

I'we always known that i was somehow different. Both in kindergarden, and later on in school. When i was 10, in '77, i were dx'd as MBD, and were told, that it was something i just had to learn to accept!
So i did! - But i never felt as a "normal human"!
Some 23 years later, i desided to find out what MBD was. It was a old dx that by then had been outdated, but MBD stands for Minimal Brain Dysfunction, And i was told it was a dx-umbrella that amongst other consealed ADD ADHD and similar. So, i read the dx's and found out that none of the dx's matched completely. - There were always something... So i just descided to be me, and get the best out of it.

Then, last august, i helped my wife do some research, for her final report. Where she were to write of how to work with a patient with a combined dx of organic paranoid schizophrenia and Aspergers!! !
I started to read about some explanations, on the net, where persons were telling of what their experiences with these dx's were. Within a few articles, about AS, i found out i were reading my own history.
So i found some articles of how to test for AS. I found out that of the traits to look for, I matched around 95%. I took some online tests, AQ SQ EQ and AspieQuiz, and concluded i were almost ecstatic.

FINALLY i knew that i were not alone! - But, after all these years, i really could'nt believe i had found out, why i had all these challenges! Was it the right conclution i had come up with? or had i just being fooling myself? As i have tree children, of whom one is in need of ascesment, that weve been fighting for for far to long, i desided to se if i could persuade my MD to send me to a psychiatrist, specialised in conduct disorders and ASD. He agreed, as he was rather dissatisfied with how the situation was around my child. And after tree months of testings, and interwievs, i was finally given my new identity as Aspie, on 4/3-'11.

But You'we asked of how i felt...
When first finding out about AS i were almost ecstatic. But after a couple of hours, i started to be "a little" depressed. - Why had i not found out before? What now, what would i get from it? Who did i feel should know? would it do any difference? - To my kid? I had used all my life to try to "fit in". Now what sort of reaction would i get from my family? Did they need to know? And hundreds of other questions...
As is, i now have come to the conclution that i wish that i found out in my late teens, as it would have had a great deal of influence on the help to get a education, i could have had! - And by that, have made my life somewhat less stressfull! - The treats would have been the same, but the tools somewhat easier to come by!! !
Another way to look at it is that via the dx iwe had a great deal more self esteem, and self understanding, wia the tools to get in therapy, and via contact with other Aspies...
- No i dont regret that i got the dx!! ! - Only, that theres so many that have seen "Rain-man"! !!

I discoverd August 6th 2010 at age 40



I was relieved that I was not insane just a little different. I was put into special education classes when I was in school I always said I wasn't learning disabled but they would say I had ADHD. After being tested for Aspergers they said they saw no signs of a learning disability so I feel vindicated.



My doctor thought I was normal but I do my best to act NT around doctors. I have had two psychologists tell me they knew from the first meeting with me they knew I had AS. My friends some of them say no way I have it while others said they knew something was wrong with me.



I now know that the damage to my heart and kidneys might have been caused by constant high blood pressure spikes caused by my social anxiety. I already have high blood pressure so the social anxiety causes extremely high spike evrytime I am in public having my pressure go up at work, the store, and going out everyday just about killed me.



Well, I wish I would have seen a psychologist sooner I was afraid of being found out to be crazy and locked up for it so I avoid seeing psychologist like the plague.

Friday, March 4th, 2011, just a few weeks after my 17th birthday.



I was skeptical and denied it for the first 3 days. After that I caved in to my inner reasoning and faced the fact that AS describes me more than any other word I can think of.



The only person who knows is my mom, and she is the one that told me about it.



Absolutely. I always knew there was something strange about me, finding out what it is has completely changed my life and how I view myself.



I had thought about seeing a psychologist a few months ago so I could have an excuse for needing extra time on my SAT. I was lazy and didn't do it, but if I did, I probably would have found out about AS sooner.[/quote]

I discovered I had AS at 40. I accepted it immediately. The diagnosis described me perfectly, and I have no problem with it.

Interesting how it was logical for you and made sense. Must have been some relief at that, missing pieces of the jigsaw as it were. I don't feel like that. It was more of a surprise - certainly made sense of a lot of my past experiences but still personally a surprise.
Different experiences with our self-diagnosis as well. The DX is my own but there is no shadow of doubt that I have it. I hope you get the answers you need.
Hayes

I wonder if I am perhaps going through the process you describe liloleme? I'm somewhere between the grief and acceptance parts I reckon. Glad you are doing so well and have a loving family. A true blessing.

Wow...what a bombshell. Worse because it came at the time it did in the way it did. The 'trying to get out of/deny it' bit was me at first. I think in part because I couldn't believe I'd got to 40 without knowing!



I feel quite similar. It's the information I needed but didn't want. The uninvited house guest that rearranges your furniture perfectly. Slow absorb and acceptance - I'm with you there. I wonder if women are better at that than men?



Glad things going so well.

This is something I have struggled with. Once I knew AS was causing certain traits, when the trait appears I'm now thinking 'is this AS' and it seems to accentuate it. I'm starting to deal with it better (time is a great healer as mother used to say) but one of the negatives of realization.

I think I'm slightly rebeling against this myself. I have a tendency to try and dig my heels in and say 'I can change it' with various results. As I've been adjusting my behaviour for years - decades - why not now tailor it to my relatively new found knowledge that I have AS? Good idea? No idea.

In what ways did it make life hard Chris?

I assume this is a thread for diagnosed AS.

I'm in my early 40s and I self diagnosed myself at Christmas. It explains quite a lot.

May I ask why you obtained a professional diagnosis and whether you are still glad you did so?


Aha...this was worrying me for a while. It was when I realized that my echolalia probably wasn't quite acceptable really (as I thought at the time)...I didn't notice anyone else doing it AND it seemed to be getting worse.
Which is an ongoing worry actually - I read somewhere that the dodgy brain rewiring I might have due to AS may well get worse with aging. This I think is true as the echolalia certainly has for one thing.


As I've mentioned already, the only person I've told is my wife and I'm happy with that for pretty much the same reasons as you detail.
BUT...I do wonder whether it could actually BE the AS that makes me reticent? (I am an overly private person - too a degree above and beyond the call of duty as it were.) Have you wondered this?


I have really debated whether I wanted to know sooner or not. I think probably not.

It is good to be able to talk to others on WP and them know what you mean. It feels almost like discovering I actually understood another language and have now found the country its spoken in.
Hayes

And it sounds like it would be a very interesting read too! I had a general disinterest in sports overall but it was being in my own world that got me the most bad reports I think. I wonder if teachers are more alert to youngsters with AS these days? Probably they are.

In part this has been my experience - although I think one of my (major) constructed fronts is an antisociability. This could be a 'male' way out (only in my opinion of course) - i.e. instead of bothering to adapt to certain people I just avoid them. Probably more than that in truth - certain people I really find boring and will not seek or put up with their company very much.

Of course I could just be an intolerant, antisocial person at heart regardless of AS....be nice to blame AS for all my human failings but not realistic. Ho hum.

The idea of forced social fascia's being responsible for depression is very interesting. It is something I've had to deal with over the years (depression I mean). Is this your own notion or more generally accepted as being responsible for depression in Aspies?
Hayes

Thank you so much Hauge for your interesting, frank and amusing account!
I do wonder if a childhood/teenage diagnosis would have helped me too. Certainly I suppose it could have depending on prevailing circumstances. I always have this little persistent voice that says 'no way, you didn't need any help'...but I know he's most likely wrong really. (By the way I don't mean 'voice' in too literal a way before anyone asks...)