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Keeno
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24 May 2011, 9:54 am

I seem to be able to socialise all day, from morning to night, with certain people anyway, and I do so most Saturdays.



Supernova008
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24 May 2011, 11:15 am

Define socializing.



MathGirl
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24 May 2011, 12:34 pm

Depends on the topics I am talking about and learning about. If the conversation is about my special interest and my conversation partner shares my special interest to the same intensity, I can go on infinitely. I also don't mind the kind of communication where the communication is very repetitive i.e. the person says the same phrases over and over again and expects me to repeat them and vice versa.

The more the conversation digresses to other topics, however, the more exhausting it becomes for me. However, I also become exhausted by having to learn something not pertaining to my special interest for prolonged periods of time. Sometimes, it can only take 15 minutes for me to become drained.


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Last edited by MathGirl on 24 May 2011, 12:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.

b9
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24 May 2011, 12:34 pm

i will talk about what i want until there is no one left listening.
i do not deliberately bore people. i just could not care less if they are interested in what i am saying or not. i just narrate what i am currently thinking about, and they usually lose interest within about 30 seconds or so.
i am lucky to have such an easy life i guess.
they all know where the door is, and that is their best attribute by far.



Verdandi
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24 May 2011, 1:29 pm

b9 wrote:
they all know where the door is, and that is their best attribute by far.


These words are true and profound. I do agree.

I can socialize for a couple of hours, I think. Wait, no. I think the last time I tried to actually socialize it lasted for about 15 minutes on the outside. I have in some conversations run out of things to say very quickly, as in within moments of starting. The only thing that can keep talking going is talking about whatever I want to talk about (such as my interests), and people can find that strange and off-putting.

Most of my conversations with my family are about basic needs and my interests. If I need to go to the store or I need to know if someone else is making dinner so I know whether to make something myself or not, yes. If I want to talk someone's ear off about Mass Effect or autism or ADHD or Game of Thrones or Doctor Who, etc, I can go on for a long time. But I have no idea how to sustain actual conversation that involves give and take for very long. If people start giving me gossip or telling about mundane daily affairs I drift off. I try to pay attention, or at least look like I do. I usually end conversations by just walking away, and only think "Maybe I should have said something" afterward.

I can keep going for an hour with my therapist, but there we talk mostly about autism, as well as issues I have problems with, and these are much easier. Even then she says I barely talk at some sessions.

Also, I kind of hate talking because of the energy it takes vs. typing.



Henbane
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24 May 2011, 1:35 pm

TenPencePiece wrote:
Well, let's compare them in these two situations then.
Situation one, an environment that you're comfortable in with friends or good acquaintances.
Situation two, a public place with many people you don't know around you, and people who are acquaintances but are friendly towards you.


Situation One. The only environment I am comfortable in is my house. And the only person I see at my house is my mother or CPN. My mother I could cope with for a few hours. The CPN I'm hoping she will go as soon as she arrives.

Situation Two. No minutes. In the past I may have managed more, but usually requiring alcohol, or because I was being paid. It would still take a huge toll, ending (after a period of time of having to do it) with depression, nervous breakdown or panic attacks.



bumble
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24 May 2011, 2:09 pm

A few hours usually so the same as yourself.



SammichEater
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24 May 2011, 2:13 pm

If I am comfortable with the person, I usually need a break after about 5 or 6 hours. If I'm not comfortable with the person, I need a break after about 30 minutes (at the very most).

For each additional person I'm socializing with, take off 20-40% of the time.


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astaut
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24 May 2011, 3:33 pm

With close friends? I can usually be around them for hours, but there are times when I need a break from it. People that I don't know at all and/or acquaintances? Not long at all, unless there is a group that isn't too huge but still big enough that I can just observe.


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flyingdutchman
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24 May 2011, 3:57 pm

Depends I think on the situation. In a quiet office setting maybe an hour. If there is too much input maybe about 10 minutes. Depends also a lot on the people, some make me zone out almost immediately. Happens with the more threathening, manipulative or fake ones...



SyphonFilter
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24 May 2011, 4:20 pm

When I was a kid, I'd be able to socialize for 2-3 hours with people. However, it became apparent that I wasn't very good at socializing, so nowadays the time that I can socialize before having to recharge is approximately 30 seconds.



Ookla
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24 May 2011, 10:21 pm

I have two longtime friends with similar interests, and I can usually talk with them for four or five hours and feel comfortable and interested. But that's an exception. Almost anyone bores or irritates me within seconds. When people try to instigate a conversation with me, it feels like their words are pummeling me. I just want it to stop.

"They're just trying to be friendly to you." I cannot imagine how many times my mother said those words to me when I was a child. Objectively, I understand that. But it doesn't help.



y-pod
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24 May 2011, 11:22 pm

About 1 hour for face to face with an average person. Up to 2 hours if we're doing activities together, like walking through a park, so not looking at each other much. On the phone I start to wear out after 30 minutes. With unpleasant people 20 minutes is all I can do without breaking into some arguments. I can last several hours at a party if there are plenty of food to nibble. I'll eat food, talk about food, eat some more, go to bathroom, come back and eat more...etc. :D


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Fern
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24 May 2011, 11:49 pm

8 hrs!
All freakin day, every stinkin day at work!

...and then I come home to my room and never want to leave again...



Cornflake
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25 May 2011, 6:18 am

Ookla wrote:
Almost anyone bores or irritates me within seconds.
Yep. I get the first few sentences and unless there's something immediately interesting or funny, I just drift off. It's impossible to maintain a focus on what's being said.

Quote:
When people try to instigate a conversation with me, it feels like their words are pummeling me. I just want it to stop.
It's physically uncomfortable. There's nothing of interest but the sound just keeps on coming.


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Tsukimi
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25 May 2011, 6:39 am

It depends on what you mean for socializing. If you mean chit chat, I try hard for some minutes and then zone out. If I have to be with people for a task, I do what needed but then I am drained.
If I am with people I like and I share interests with, I can enjoy being together for 3-4 hours, then start getting tired; however, it happens that my friends tend to live far from me, so the few times we meet we stay together for some days... it is very tiring but also worth doing because these are the only functional relationships I have, so I see it as "sports for those who like sposts" - that is to say something you are happy to do, even though at the end all your energies are gone ^_^. If I am very comfortable with the person I can ask some time for myself, though.