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jmnixon95
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16 May 2011, 2:47 am

I realized about a month ago (or was it three weeks ago?) that it has dawned on me within the past few months that I really am not as naturally "reclusive" as I have previously seen myself as. (Awkward sentence structure, I know.)
But yeah, I have basically found myself wanting a couple of more friends. I have a theory for this, too.
My exchange student friend has been the greatest friend I have ever had, and I think that having this friendship with her has shown me how beneficial having someone as a friend can be. Before, I would just think, "Well, what's the fuss about? What is the point? Why do people want such relationships?" Now that I see what the fuss is all about, I want more. My friend is leaving to return to Japan in a couple of weeks, and I was extremely sad in anticipating her departure, but now I've looked back on it and I've thought about it and it's not like she's exiting my life completely. In this day and age of technology, we can Skype, email, Facebook... and I am even going to visit her next next Summer.

That kind of went off on a narrow tangent, but to concisely answer the question... I would like to maintain the two very good friendships that I have, and possibly even make a couple of more. I still believe quality over quantity, but yeah. Also, it would be nice to not be somewhat cynical...



LittleShamrock
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16 May 2011, 9:40 am

I'm constantly aware of myself when engaged in a social interaction. One might say I am too self-conscious, so I can't really concentrate on what is said and done, what the others are doing or talking about, because I'm too caught up in trying to analyze my own, and their, behaviour and calculate what to do next, how to do it, how the others will respond etc.
That's why I quickly become very strained and tired when or after hanging out with people, since I can't take it easy and "let it come naturally", I am always on my guard, considering and making presumptions.
But despite all this I have felt, ever since I started school, that I would like to have more contact with others and be able to act more relaxed around it.
Though somehow this is impossible, especially with people my age, because we seem like we're from different worlds sometimes(like I'm from "the wrong planet" :P or maybe they are...)...we don't think or do the same, and the way I am differs so much from the way they are that it's sometimes lika an invisble wall is separating us.
I can have a really good time with others, and they can hugely enjoy my company as well, but when it comes to social life in school it's more of a struggle. Over the years I can at least say that my social capabilities, and also desire to be with others, have grown and become better. Well, but there are days when I feel I might give up trying to interact with my classmates completely, that the battle is too hard for me to fight, each day. Still, I believe the situation is brightening up, bit by bit :)



SyphonFilter
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16 May 2011, 3:29 pm

Even though it's physically draining for me to respond correctly in social situations many times, I'would like to become more social. Its just that I haven't met the right group of people whom I'd like to socialize with.



Reinekuro
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16 May 2011, 4:22 pm

Supernova008 wrote:
One common theme that I notice is that many of the Aspies WANT to be more sociable.


The very notion horrifies me. I have a very close friend, who no longer fits the definition of "boyfriend" but for whom the word "friend" is just not adequate and an aquantence or two I speak to often, but who do not quite meet the definition of "friend", and that, to me, is a very active social life. I didn't have friends for most of my life and I'm still struggling with the notion now. I don't want to be social, I don't want all that mess I see people writing about on their Facebook and I certainly don't want people randomly appearing at my house, expecting me to drop what I'm doing and spend time with them.
No. I'm content as a hermit. I actually like being alone.


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Surfman
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16 May 2011, 5:09 pm

Socialising seems a bit like a bodily function such as going to the bathroom.

Personally I'd rather develop my intellect in books, but rather than become socially constipated, I mix and mingle sometimes. I'm just not very good at it, so concentrate on my strengths rather than my weaknesses. I find it hard to overcome my socially inept approaches to others.

I like being around artists and musician NT's



pixiedixie
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17 May 2011, 4:45 am

Not Really!! I'd be 'Delighted' just to have One or Two 'Real Good Friends'. I can't see the point in wanting a Dozen or More!

I go to the Cinema, Football, Rock gigs, or Days out (Zoo etc) but thats not Really Socializing.



Kon
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17 May 2011, 8:09 am

Surfman wrote:
Socialising seems a bit like a bodily function such as going to the bathroom.


That's how I feel but taking a nice crap sometimes is pretty enjoyable.