Extroverted Autistics/Aspies?

Post Reply New Topic

Yup. I would be extroverted. I can talk to anyone about anything... that interests me. Problem is that I don't generally know when to shut up, and that causes people to either run away at any opportunity, or me avoiding social situations because of how many times I have been told after the fact that I have been oppressive. Being told about how I have messed up publically is embarrassing to me, because, with my intelligence, I have always felt like I SHOULD be able to know when to stop. Even knowing this about myself now, I still make the mistake because I cannot recognize when I am crossing lines.
That cycle has caused a lot of anxiety, which in turn makes social situations more stressful, triggering my 'chatter', etc. So I avoid them now.
I also WANT friends. I like to be around people. But few people can tolerate me. Luckily, I have friends that are directly associated with my special interests. This has given me a social outlet, but also in a safe place, where they are more knowing about my particular social problems. They are more capable of telling me when I'm going too far in talking about something, and when I need to bring the level of intensity down. It works. They don't get offended, I don't get offended, and I have the freedom to ask for clarification if I don't quite understand what they may be insinuating. (Which happens often).

Similar to mood swings, I have Extrovert Introvert Swings.
For several weeks I am very friendly, talkative and social.
And then several weeks recluse, antisocial and isolation.
The friends I got are lost. Sometimes the job I had too.

I am pretty extraverted as well. I like personnel parties with activities and smaller parties in the break room, especially shortly before the weekend. Colleagues joke with me, and I joke with them.

This was me until about 3-4 years ago. It was extremely difficult because I took every failed social interaction and rejection very personally and seriously. I finally learned to how separate myself into levels, like a nightclub, and let people in accordingly. Everybody starts out on the main floor, where there is the highest level of security and hyperawareness ( I watch my body language, my posture, eye contact, ask the small talk questions about work/school/ect, make sure I don't hog the conversation when it's my turn to answer, no jokes or vague statements, no going off on tangents about esoteric special interests, under NO circumstances any emotional or personal information) but it's also the most bland and you don't get to stay for every long because I shut down and get social exhaustion . After a while, people who stay, like the place and don't act stupid get stamped to the 2nd level, which relaxes restrictions on what I say, but not how I say it. Level 2 is much more interesting and has crazy cool furniture, unique special interests and swimming pool, plus I will let you come to apt.


If a bouncer thinks someone can handle it, and they would make a good addition, they are give a pass to the secret invite-only VIP lounge on the top floor. Up there I don't hold back anything, filter any thoughts or monitor body language. One cannot request or bribe their way though; although many have tried. Even there though, certain areas are roped off for certain guests and not all areas are accessible to everyone at once.


so far this is worked really well and has significantly widen my social network with casual relationships that I don't have to "maintain", which I hate doing. A lot of people still don't like me, but you can't win them all.