I wonder if there are multiple levels of theory of mind? It's just that when you look at TOM applications in adults, it's things like understanding how people can have different opinions than you and being able to put yourself in others' shoes, where as these test seem to measure your ability to understand that people do not know and see everything that you do. To me, these seem like two different levels. And it would explain why people here can understand the sally/anne tests and the like but still have trouble with mind-blindness.
Also, Callista's comment just made me think of my own experience. I must have been well into elementary school at the time, because I remember the event quite clearly. (I have a horrible memory when it comes to childhood events. I can scarcely remember middle school.) I just remember realizing one day very vividly that it didn't matter how much I showed someone or explained to them, sometimes people just won't see the same greatness in things (like books) that I dd. This was a very strange realization for me. I could understand that they had knowledge different from mine (that they didn't know about the book), but I assumed that if I could give them the same knowledge (tell them about the book/get them to read it) they would be able to see the greatness. I thought that if they didn't react the same way I did, it was because I wasn't explaining how awesome it was well enough. It never occurred to me before my "revelation" that they could see the same thing that I did but have a different reaction to it. This still seems to me like a TOM-failure. I couldn't understand that people could see things differently than I could. But at the same time I was aware that they could not know things I did. I would have passed the S/A, but still clearly demonstrated mind-blindness.
But even with this revelation, I think I have some issue with this. For instance, I know my mother likes turtles (the chocolate edible kind). They are one of her favorite things. But I still really worried about buying them for her for mother's day because I think they're gross and therefor had a hard time seeing them as a good gift. I felt like I was buying a bad gift because I wouldn't have wanted them despite knowing she would want them. I had to keep telling myself that I only felt uneasy because I didn't like them, and that she would like them because I've heard her say how much she likes them. So I think this is an example about logically understanding TOM (as would be implied by being able to understand Sally/Anne tests) but having difficulty applying it in a real-world situation.
I'm curious if anyone here has had a similar experiences. To me, this seems like a perfect example of TOM-failure, but it isn't like any TOM example I've read, so perhaps it's just a misinterpretation on my part. There needs to be more TOM information for adults. Or people over the age of 10, as the case may be.