Aspergers and being too honest

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Why is it? My guess is

- trying to be socially acceptable - honesty is a virtue, so we are honest, to a fault

- inability to understand why some subjects are considered "unsuitable", and when, where, with whom and how. It's okay to say some things in certain situations, but not in other situations. Inability to understand the nature of different social situations and relations.

- inability to understand the further consequences of your answer, when someone asks for your opinion on something, whether it is soup, a painting or political situation. It's just my opinion, why would anyone get offended, hurt, upset, sad because of it? Why would people want to "punish" you for having the opinion, like the hamburger beef was underdone, and I don't eat raw meat, so I send it back to kitchen to be fried properly, and it comes back with a side dish of spit. How is that proper and understandable?

- I use communication to exchange information. Most "normal" people use communication to take care of the relationship, to create moods and atmosphere and impressions and to prepare for future, and other such weird, manipulative things. To me information is neutral. I don't understand why people get offended, hurt, upset, angry and all kinds of things because of information. It's just information, data. It's not good or bad, true or false, or anything. Just information. To me.

I'm known for being absolutely honest.
Call it being brutally honest, blunt, insensitive, commendable etc, whatever you want, but it's a part of me.
I'm a bad liar anyway..
I'm old enough to have learned in many circumstances that people dont want that level of sheer honesty that you get with an Aspie.
"Does my bum look big in this?" and "is my c*ck small?" being 2 obvious examples....

Sometimes now I will ask how honest someone wants me to be, especially if I think the precise truth will offend.

Maybe I was too honest at Babycenter. I got a rule reminder thing in my email from the Babycenter staff. Okay either the OP had a sick twisted game she was playing posting a thread and reporting every post she doesn't like to the staff or I was too honest. Maybe if I said "That suit makes her look like a little whore" or "She looks like a slut in that suit" maybe it wouldn't have been seen as me trying to disrupt the community intentionally. I was not even doing that when I posted my thought.

Boy you gotta love people who ask for your opinions and then get mad when they don't like your answer.
Maybe the OP reported every post she didn't like to the staff.

But it's common at Babycenter anyway to have your posts reported by some wussy because they didn't like what you said so you end up getting banned or reminded of the rules there. But the only thing is, the staff has to think the post broke the rules before they take action and apparently they thought I was trying to troll.

But was I too honest or was it the OP? I don't know. Me thinks it was the OP playing some stupid game and she needs to grow up. I would tell her off in PM but I can't be arsed to fish for that thread and risk getting reported again and then possibly banned. She can claim I sent her a nasty PM and have the staff decide the PM was bad and against the rules. Or it was how I said it, not what I said so if I said it two other ways, I may have been fine. But I thought it be obvious what I was saying. The OP posted a picture of her baby in a bikini and asked for our thoughts. I said she looked like a little whore. Okay isn't that obvious what I was saying? I didn't really need to mention "in that suit" but I guess they were that dumb to not be able to figure that out. :shrugs:

I am not an honest person, but there was one time where I was too honest, and made an ass of myself.

I am usually very honest but there are times where I use sarcasm and joke around. It is usually very obvious that I do that by the tone of my voice. I know its rare for an autistic to use sarcasm but over the years I have learned to use it. Sometimes I am too honest and it hurts others. I don't mean to hurt others though. Also, I don't usually hold anything back including my feelings. Sometimes it sounds bizarre to others. I realize this.

My biggest problem is being too honest.

I remember this girl in middle school would always come up to my friends at lunch and ask for money--everyday. I one day asked if she was homeless. It made sense to me at the time. She ran away crying and everyone told me I was very rude--I didn't get it. To me it all made sense. She kept asking for money, therefore she must live in some sort of poverty.

I think I did it recently at a former job when this girl showed me a picture of her baby and he was very hefty. I told her that he looks like Budai and how fat babies usually grow up to be very slim. I didn't realize how inappropriate that was until the day after.

I actually had to bite my tongue about a coworker since I noticed she was suffering from eczema or perhaps a dog allergy. I was moved to ask her if she had a dog and to give her tips on battling her nasty skin problem. And she was also severely overweight, so I think one day I started talking about eating healthy foods, etc. IDK if I told her or not. She probably hates me, haha!

I try to keep my mouth shut because I know I'm going to say something offensive, but it's so hard sometimes

I talk too much.

I'm the other way around, either I lie or my answers are subtle and only partly true.

I cannot make a statement that is knowingly not logically true for whoever is stating it, except in a few situations with verbal irony where I know the person will read it exactly as I intended it. When I say cannot, I mean my voice would not come out if I were to try. I've tested thing.

Its interesting for me, I can play a character, but if I was to play the character I would then need to say only things logically true for the character. I was in a LARP once where people were curious whether this was true OOC and I tested it and ended up being completely unable to speak when I tried to say things untrue for the character despite it not being me.


For me its not an active decision at all. And I can say partial truths. But every statement I say if it is run through a complete logical analysis must check out to true to the best of my ability to know when I make the statement.

Ah yes I have never been able to understand why people ask stupid questions like, "does my bum look big in this?" When they know fine well it does and you're meant to say no it doesn't. Of course I always tell them what they want to hear, I know that's what I'm meant to do, but I would rather tell the truth. My friend's husband is an aspie and she is rather plump. When she asks this question he says yes she does look fat and she gets upset. Simple solution... don't ask the question.

I am known at work for being ridiculously truthful. I think I may just be niave. I am amused that people think it's because I'm "being a good Christian", when it is just my nature.

The other day a colleague asked someone to say they weren't in so that they didn't have to take a call. She told the caller he wasn't in and then after putting the phone down said to the other guy, "I lied for you, even though it's against my religion." I laughed because I knew that was a dig at me, but I wondered is it really my faith that dictates my actions or my aspieness?

Well ok, Christians, it would seem, are expected to be truthful as a stereotype, even if not all live like that as a rule, but I just find it's easier in the long run to tell the truth, then I don't have to remember the lie I told in the first place. I feel that if you don't want a sales person to keep phoning you everyday then you should just tell them that you don't want to buy their product. It saves them the hassle of phoning repeatedly and it saves your receptionist the bother of having to make up a story every day about why you can't speak to them.

At work often people will make up a long story for me to tell a caller whom they don't want to speak to. I can't be bothered with this long elaborate lie and tell the caller that the person "isn't available at the moment, do you want me to take a message?" Fellow employees find this amusing for some reason. It just feels more logical to me. It actually irritates me a bit. I can't quiet grasp why other people bother lying over something so insignificant. Maybe I'm just lazy.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being "too honest". I think the real problem is people are offering their opinions about things when they should stay quiet. I never lie unless there was some exceptional extreme circumstance that would require it. I also however don't offer random opinions to insult people.
So don't ask for my opinion unless you really want an answer!