Amazing how nobody likes you, even if you're attractive

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Err... I believe that I'm very attractive, but men have told me before they did not want to date me because I was too weird. But years later, come running back to me to say they can now appreciate how unique I am... And these are men who are no match to my beauty!

I understand that I'm an intelligent, beautiful, witty woman--why can't I be appreciated for the way that I am? My unique sense of humor and the way that I live my life? Eh, it's there loss. I know that I'm awesome... And it's true, doesn't matter what you look like, if you're a weirdo they want nothing to do with you.

I think most aspie women trick men this way--because we can be quiet sometimes and have those large innocent eyes. They think we're submissive, stupid, and gonna' be at their beck and call; that is until we open our mouth.

Lol. I don't exactly associate quietness with stupidity. Usually the opposite...

Yes, I have problems with this as well. It becomes too easy to attract the kind of guys that want an innocent, gullible, naive girl. I have had so many guys I have met try and take advantage of me because I look like such a quiet and clueless kid. People often confuse quiet with easy to manipulate, joke's on them.

Either way, I really like weird. I think it is one of the most important qualities in a person, it is what makes them different and interesting people to be around. Some people just cannot see this, and are scared by anything slightly out of the norm. Their loss.

Yea... One of the main qualities that I look for these days is "weirdness". I recently met a guy who is rather strange, and it's kind of a turn on.

Yes, I think it is weirdness + confidence. There is something soo sexy about a guy that is comfortable with himself, no matter how odd or strange he might be. Acceptance is key, there is nothing less appealing than people doing all they can to seem normal and boring. I don't get it.

I was thinking confidence from the "start". Sure, some women might prefer "weirdness", but not if the person lacks other necessary traits, like confidence and self acceptance and all that jazz. I'm thinking that's a lot of the romantic problems with male aspies is that many lack self-acceptance because others haven't accepted them because of their aspie traits throughout life and the social confidence that goes with that, but there are a few that rise above others' approval.

at least if the shunned one is attractive [and manages to stay attractive as one ages while everybody else lets themselves go to pot] he has more ability to say [and keep saying] "their loss, not mine."

I had a girl come after me for 12 years. Knew each other for 18. I started talking to her on the internet when I left the country. Started getting along. She even wanted to get married, seriously, using words like "love" and all that crap. It only took four days in Los Angeles for me to change her mind.

Someone who's attractive is one who attracts, right? It doesn't seem that's the OP's purported advantage...

Even if you are a strong attractive masculine looking man, if you are sitting improperly, hunched over in a shy and feeble way looking awkward, you project that you have a small * through your body language. If there is no other guys or less attractive guys around, they will judge you on your own, but if there are other decent or more attractive men then you, your looks matter even less, and it becomes about social value, or how much social value you carry in the group of people you are around.

Buahaha, this happened to me recently.

When I was a young dork, I had an absolute crush on this guy. He found out through a friend, and would completely play with me and honestly be quite mean. It was bad, years of teasing ensued, and I just got really angry but moved on.

Now fast forward about ten years, he runs into me. I am still dorky, but in a more acceptable way, and is hitting on me / tries to make out with me all night... (I was cuter back then... Who gets guys.) Of course nothing happened, (I really dislike this guy, I kinda hold grudges =) I eventually had to leave the place because he was making me awkward with all the staring. Revenge of the dorky geeks. His loss, not mine.

ok, i am guilty of sloppy english- i should have specifically said "physically attractive." the point i was trying to convey, was that it was the other parties' loss and not HIS loss, IOW if the masses of the meat marketplace weren't as shallow and darwinian and so ready to cut folk to the quick, they'd have seen this man's true worth as a human being instead of judging him by strictly mercenary values. "a diamond in the rough" [genuinely nice guy] still beats cubic zirconium [typical PUA], so if the meat market prefers the latter instead of the former, it is the meat market's loss. please forgive the clumsy analogies, it was the best i could do for now.

Hehe, I knew what your intention was. I was just poking fun at the OP's usage of the word and the contradicting evidence...

Absolutely, the NT world never leaves school. They are so easily conditioned that they cannot move on from the high school ideal of being cool and having "the right friends." I think it is pathetic too.

When I visited my grandmother in a senior's home, I was surprised by how much people still acted like they were in high school, excluding people they didn't like.

it is basic human nature to cleave to one's own kind and to exclude all others, and it is the rare evolved human who can step outside that box.