Does it *hurt* you to look at people? (eye contact)

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The eye contact is not painful per se. I do feel very uncomfortable and distracting. I can not look someone in the eyes without losing my train of thought and then I start sounding like and idiot.
It is not a physical pain but more of a physilogical one I think that I should be able to do this then I can not so I start mentally beating myself up for being so weak.

half of the time I don't give Eye Contact. When I do give Eye Contact, I Eyeball people.

wow I feel relieved to know that I'm not the only one who feels a pain-like sensation when making eye contact.
for me occurs with strangers. i can't look at them. it makes things like buying groceries or going to the bank rather awkward.
thanks for bringing this up. I feel better knowing I'm not alone in this.

I find it very uncomfortable, and the longer eye contact is made, the more uncomfortable I feel. I CAN do it if I am thingking about it, and feel that the situation might warrant it (E.G job interview) but I live in hope of being able to tell an interviewer "I don't like eye contact, it feels unpleasent to me, I'm not being shifyt or evasive, I can do it but do you mind if I don't."

JulieArticuno

Looking in people's eyes just makes me feel very worried and uncomfortable. I get a threatening vibe from people who make eye contact for more than a few seconds.

Avoiding prolonged eye contact is really *more natural*, if you think about it. In practically every single other species, staring into another's eyes isn't being open/friendly, it's a threat. Most animals hate it; if you look them straight in the eye, they'll soon look away.

A 'smile' isn't friendly among animals, either (including our extended family, the apes). It's just showing your teeth, which is another threat. Humans have got it all backwards.

Sometimes when I talk to my son, 8, he looks like he's in so much pain to look at me. I joke and askd him if I'm ugly or something. The school's tests all say he has good eye contact, which is complete BS. He will look you in the eye, but it depends on the conversation. If he's done something wrong, he gives me the pain look when I bring it to his attention. If he talks about what a good day he had at school he looks in my eyes the whole time.

I find eye contact very uncomfortable, especially with people i don't know well. I'm better and more relaxed about it with family and friends. I always thought i was kind of shy, because i was so awkward around strangers and never liked to look or talk to them....but now i'm pretty sure it wasn't shyness but AS.
I don't have any problems meeting the eyes of children or animals....or at least not often. Infact i get on really well with children and often find that they stare at me and seem to find me fascinating....or maybe they just think i'm weird. And eye contact is deffinantly more uncomfortable the longer it goes on....i too often either glance at others vrey quickly or look at other parts of the face and 'fake it'.

Is it just me or is it ridiculously hard to look at both eyes at once? I can look at one or the other but not both. Not because it's painful or uncomfortable, it's just physically impossible.

It did "hurt" me as much as I felt very uncomfortable about it. Up until the age of 40 I rarely looked at people in the eye. A problem that I have been working hard to overcome, and I now have been successful to a limited extent. Now I look at them glancingly in the eye as I speak to them directly. Direct conversation is the form of eye contact I have the greatest issue with. But I glance up to their eyes and back down to the lips in a fraction of a second.

I find it easier to sustain eye contact with women than men during conversations, but often in those situations my mind sidetracks away from the conversation and I just admire the prettiness of their eyes and I complete miss the jist of what they were talking about. They may make be regress back into my old ways.

Others I may not in any way be in direct conversation with I have more sustained eye contact which in a way may be deemed as inappropriate such as staring at big hairy bikers or street gangsters or something which could potentially get me into trouble.

Paul

I have always had problems with eye contact. Mostly when I am talking though. I used to slink along the walls hallways of my highschool with my head down walking very fast.

As I have gotten older I have learned to watch peoples mouths when they are talking so that I can pick up on any hidden meanings or innuendos. If I notice that I am doing it though I instinctully look away.

I don't know if it hurts exactly, it is just very aquard and uncomfortable.

A friend of mine who is self-diagnosed has the perfect excuse to look at the mouth rather than the eyes. She is slightly hard-of hearing, so she can get away with explaining that she's lip reading, and they feel flattered that she's interested enough in what they're sayoing to do so. She said people can also feel you're at lest looking at SOME point of their face (and it's easier than staring at their forghead-one person asked if they had a spot or something when I did that!) I currentrly have an ear ingfection in one ear, so I may be able to use that excuse to look at their mouth in the short term.

JulieArticuno