Can an Aspie be a bully?

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But the HFA members get bullied for not being autistic enough, and some feel they should go away....

Then its no mans land for HFA. Like a half caste, not white enough, and not black enough to be anywhere in particular but in between...

If its any consolation, I'm learning to be more respectful.

When I came here 1yr ago I was sometimes offensive. Now, after reading here, I'm more aware of others difficulties and suffering. (and only sometimes offensive)

So yeah, its all good( I think!!). HFA's become more humble with time, and become effective protesters and lobbyists for autism issues and struggles. Having poster boys and girls like Temple Grandin and Bill Gates lifts the AS profile to a wider audience, and makes understanding autism easier for the general public to appreciate......

A worthy consideration is whether to divide this community and protect some members from current inappropriate expression, as occurs here on a daily basis. And probably always will... someone will always grab the reigns...

Thank you

If there would be a will of learning about AS and spreading information, why serve misinformation?

I dont think it should be moved, but changed.

I would answer any honestly posed question in details.

My label reads :

cantankerous
curmudgeonly
well meaning
adorable
surfing
48yr Kiwi
HFA man/boy
of foolish court jester like nature

Absolutely we can be bullies. Like with anyone else who bullies, it probably comes from self esteem issues. I bullied one kid when I was about 8 or 9, and that was possibly partly due to me being bullied constantly, and maybe I thought it was "normal". But that's NO EXCUSE! In fact, I wake up at night and feel guilty and bad about myself for bullying that kid, and it was 35 years ago. I will hunt him up and formally apologize when I can. Even that won't undo it though.

Charles

You know, I had a theory about why/how Aspies can become bullies. If they get to the point where they feel like there's "nothing to lose" anymore, from years of putting up with tormenting, rejection, mushrooming misunderstandings from initial failure to read between the lines and then blowing up in their face, etc, etc...it seems like a rational, albeit tragic, response that an Aspie would turn to bullying. They would conclude, so what if I make this person's life unpleasant by berating and belittling them, they're going to reject me anyway, everyone else does, so I might as well get some kind of enjoyment from an interaction with them while it lasts. What do I have to lose???

Not justifying the behaviour of course - heck, I was tempted into this sort of mindset before, but resisted and very seldom succumbed to it - but it does give you an insight as to what might motivate an Aspie to bully.

@ op
I was a psychology major in college....and from what I learned, she is exibiting behavior more like anti-social personality disorder or borderline personality disorder. But the social manipulation over your family that you described is not generally an AS trait by itself.

It would be best to avoid her if you can., Personality disorders are not treatable as of yet because they are perceptional disorders
look up symptoms of anti-social personality disorder....you will probly find that it fits her well,, Not all sociopaths are serial killers, many just make life hell for others, They see people as objects to manipulate, not human beings with their own rights and feelings. You cant reason or even try to reconliate with someone like that.

To get your mom to see what is going on...you need to have family therapy so the therapist can point out to your mom what is really going on. Sometimes a family therapist can slice through the dysfuction created by someone like that.
As far as your sister goes, there is no treatment for antisocial personality disorder because anyone that tries to help her, she will just try to manipulate the situation and is unable to see the problem lies within her perceptions

I know what it is like to live with a sociopath, my dad was one....I could write a book about being raised by a wonderful mother and sociopath father.
I spent alot of my time protecting her from him at my own peril because she was too physically sick to defend herself.

He made my sister and brother think that my mom was not sick but crazy and they turned on her when she was so ill that she could not walk across the room without gasping for air.

Jojo

I was mentally and emotionally abused by an aspie online before, so yes.

I unintentionally bullied a teacher once. I felt her grading system was off, so I kept asking and asking about each test and little quiz. One day she just started to cry when I appeared at her desk. I felt truly terrible. The worst part was that I didn't even realize that I was doing it until it got to that point.

Our whole class bullied a gay undiagnosed HFA teacher in 1974 I think

He had a breakdown and left teaching for good.

I was one of the ring leaders

If it wasnt us, it would have been another group of kids. He was not a good teacher