How can I spot an aspie in real life?

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I was only being semi-serious with that point, sorry that did not come across. The point I was really trying to make was that people with Aspergers are all very different, there aren't any specific physical signs (like having green skin or something) and even signs that would make it likely could be manifestations of something else, like Tourettes or social anxiety or a dozen other conditions, so you can't really be 100% certain just by looking at someone.

Yeah, that's basically it. I'm looking for someone like me. I want to figure out who "my people" are and where I might belong in this world.

Fnord ~ I know I'm missing something here. I think I get the reference to the scarlet "A", but what do you mean about Disneyland? [I've never been there, is that why I don't understand?]


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How is it fluff? Asperger's isn't like a broken leg. In my case, it won't be obvious unless you have a conversation with me.

"Hidden disability" is far from fluff, it's actually a pretty important aspect of understanding disability and how a lot of people experience it.

Well, I was just kidding. The accusation "Stop trying to hide your own kind" was me teasing y'all.

So, if I want to find an aspie, I basically have to talk to everyone? Some people don't like to talking to strangers, though, and I'd say that roughly characterizes at least half the population so that's not going to be very efficient.

Man, you guys make it sound like it's impossible to spot an aspie. What about... libraries? Do aspies like libraries or something?

Some autistic people aren't very apparent without interacting. Some can be obvious, although you may at best determine they obviously have something going on.

I can often be pretty obvious in public, but I don't know how many people would look at me and say "I bet she's autistic" instead of "...weird!"

Yeah, you're probably right, if I saw you in public, I'd probably just classify you as weird. Or, if I heard you speak, I might actually think of you as brilliant and eccentric or someone unusually rational with a "male" type of thinking. The literalness probably wouldn't become obvious unless it was a sustained conversation, and the odds of that happening would probably be close to zero. Even if I came across your literalness, I probably wouldn't automatically think "Aspie!", because many people take what I say literally pretty often.

Basically, yes. Think about it: a lack of social skills is one of the defining charachteristics of Asperger's. How are you going to notice that if you don't interact with them or watch someone else interacting with them?

I don't know what "male type of thinking" means. Otherwise, yes, that seems more likely based on past experience.

This kind of talk makes me feel even more agoraphobic than I already am. Well, I used to get the bus to my nearest big town every day, (to see friends/do voluntary work/go shopping, etc) now I've reduced it to almost every day. Now it's 2-3 days a week - and buses are my obsession, but my Social Phobia/Social Anxiety has even taken over my obsession and routine! I don't like the thought of going out knowing I look weird when I don't do anything out of the norm. I've even been told by several close friends and relatives that my posture isn't odd. So that makes it even worse because I don't do squat and I still look weird. It makes me hate myself with a passion, and it's even caused me to smack myself in the face and almost breaking my nose, because I know it's my face what is causing the obvious vibes.

I hate myself.

The only two things I can think of is that people who are visibly stimming and people who are doing something to deal with sensory sensitivities (wearing sunglasses inside, wearing earplugs in public, or such) are more likely to be spectrumites, but that's still not guaranteed and that misses a large number of aspies.

Most people who see me think I'm a geek or a nerd, when I'm sitting in the corner of a public building, with earplugs in, holding my head and rocking, then people might get that I'm autistic.

Well I dont match the background: people are sometimes staring and sometimes doing everything to look away from me -assuming I want the attention.

I dont look like a nerd.

Putting on clothes varies between 5 seconds 5 hours, so its always different how I look.

I have no clue how to see that Im on the spectrum other than noticing that Im not blending in harmonically with everybody else.

I look healthy.

I have to add something. Sometimes I blend in, and sometimes people blend in with me. Its just that I sometimes go against the flow, but thats a bad expression for it, as its more like blending in with myself, which also sounds wrong...

Well I just go with the flow - I never do anything to stand out because I don't like standing out, and I've got enough self-awareness to make sure I don't. I never have looked Autistic.

Only one time when an ambulance was coming towards me flashing it's lights but no siren, and I knew that blue flashing lights on an ambulance means the siren could go off at any minute, and I started to panic because I absolutely loathe sudden loud noise near me. So, as a last resort, I had to put my fingers in my ears. There was no-one else around, and I'm sure the ambulance drivers didn't really see. But usually in this situation, I get out my mobile phone and pretend to be on it, holding it right against my ear, and holding my finger in my other ear (I've seen people do that when on their phone to block out background noises).

I don't go out looking different. I don't wear earplugs or sunglasses indoors (actually I've seen people wearing sunglasses in shops when it's a hot sunny day outside and they don't bother taking them off. But you know what I mean). I wear fashionable clothes that make me blend in, and I have a nice handbag over my shoulder, and I always keep my hygiene in good condition. So I look like a female of my age (which is what I want - I don't want to look old or like a kid or like a man).

I don't think I ever look weird. I think, if anything, I look stupid (to other people). I seem to have this expression on my face what looks like I'll put up with everything without thinking or feeling anything - when actually I'm the opposite inside. I'm an agitated, anxious person inside who is a little too self-aware and too worried of what everybody's thinking of me. So that is why when I do show any sign of negative emotion, I get people looking at me like I've got 2 heads.

Otherwise, I don't see how somebody can suspect Autism in me. I often get people pulling up near me in their car and asking me for directions of somewhere. If I looked really weird, I don't think they'll bother to ask me. That's what my dad pointed out (he's often pulled up to ask somebody for directions, but he says he never asks people who look a bit weird or something). Also people often make friendly small talk with me in the bus station, and I always get people sitting next to me on the bus, even when there's a couple of other seats left. So nobody avoids me.

Ummm...I look rather incredibly weird in most any environment. Excepting areas where there is a high concentration of weirdness such as Minneapolis, Oakland or New Orleans. I make most of my own clothing/backpack/tool belt accessories and that tends to stand out in a crowd. I used to wear a military cloak as my winter coat: boy, did that ever draw stares.

You could probably recognize me on sight as an aspie. Touching things repeatedly, smelling things. Staring at things or people with a vacant expression on my face. Sometimes I rock when I sit, often with the foot tapping, and have both a "grimace" facial stim, and a whole body convulsion every once in a while.

I used to be very self conscious about looking weird. Eventually, I accepted such as fact and just kind of went with it. Just started ignoring the random people. Well, in a bad neighborhood in a city, you have to make eye contact for a moment and then make a quick examination of a person's clothing. Look at shoes, up to the eyes and hair, back down to the shoes. That's an important part of how to not-get-mugged. But you don't want to hold the eye contact very long anyway using that strategy, so it's easy to ignore the stares and glares.