''You need to get out to clubs and bars to meet people!''

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I'd rather be alone. ^_^

Bars and clubs are nothing but unnecessary amounts of noise/light, useless chatter, and often wreckless behavior.

As a side note, the built-in spell check for Firefox is useless.

Until my early 20s I hated them. Then, having picked up the idea from society somehow that this was where I was supposed to meet women, I tried them, and merely confirmed my distaste for them.

I suppose I can almost describe the NT viewpoint here:

Clubs are mainly for dancing, drinking or dating or any combination of the three. There different to Bars in that there isn't a dancefloor (The worst place for any aspie unless drunk & even then anxiety levels spike dependant on the crowd) and that music isn't as loud as before.

Going solo or 'sarging' at these events, I pretty much expect to be impossible to aspies or anyone with anxiety problems. With a group it's possible, but risky for when the group naturally breaks up, the social difficulties hit hard and quickly - leading to either an exit or shutdown.

Bars I'd say are better for aspies as it's more discussion based, so even if you do start talking solidly for five or ten minutes, you won't appear or sound any different to the other NT's chatting away.

For me, I can use bars to my advantage, I can be social & drink while talking about things that interest me & later on when everyone's steadily drunk can talk about more difficult topics such as dating or social cues I didn't understand earlier without getting caught.
Clubs are totally different, I can't approach them without a group & at least 3 or 4 drinks to push me through the doors, inside I'm easily overloaded or anxious dependant on crowd and female to male ratio, dancing is still a complete mystery & completely reliant on the group to keep me there.

Not trying to put anyone off, just my experiences.

i agree with the op. clubs are boring and awkward for someone with no social skills and they are an assult on the senses- all the people and the heat and the noise and the light and smells. it does tick me off when people say i have to go out to meet people and tell me i have no life and stuff. they are making value judgements on my life without regard to my own happiness or contentment. i was always happier on my own and the thing is i have managed to meet people outside of clubs and pubs. in highschool i met people in the library now i meet people at political events and youth group. my social life doesnt look like other peoples and it isnt as big as other peoples but it still works for me. why is a social life necessary at all?

I think that it is worth remembering that the atmosphere generated by the crowded bar or clamorous late-night club does not present itself as desirous to a broad range of people whether they are neurotypical, have Aspergers or are homosexual-schizocurious-neurosceptical with the head of an oppossum.

Regarding the propensity to become anxious as a result of the social aspect of visiting these places, for me personally it is far less besetting than other situations I find myself in. To further contextualise this, I would rather spend the whole evening in a loud bar (providing there is a quiz machine) than to engage myself in a brief, but what I would consider to be a prescribed or orderly exchange (attending the opticians, going into a shop and asking if there is a vacancy, making an enquiry at local college). I think this could partly be down to this attitude ingrained within that I carry into bars or clubs that 'perceptions are naturally obfuscated' so to me there isn't such a susceptability to become anxious. This combined with the effects of alcohol consumption. Yes, my appearance may be a little different, my demeanour may seem somewhat discordant with many of those around me, I don't seek out conversation and I don't dance however I rarely feel overwhelmed. If I do end up talking to someone and a disagreement or argument ensues then that interaction has failed, so be it. Occasionally I experience a rewarding exchange. I also feel this is made easier for me by the absence of alarm caused by the overflow of sensory stimuli which I understand many people with Autism spectrum conditions are vexed by. I can readily comprehend the reasons why many people harbour a strong dislike of these places though.

It may not stand out as possessing benefits beyond the assuagement of my own curiosity but it would be interesting to see what the results would be if a social preferences section were to be incorporated into the national census or just a question or two offering ranked choice election. After all, 0.7% of the United Kingdom consider their religion to be Jedi . . .

Well everybody's different. Some Aspies like bars, some NTs don't. I know an Autistic young man who is always socialising, and he's more on the spectrum than I am. But he's more outgoing than I am. I think if I was born NT, I would still probably be shy, possibly because I come from a shy family.

I don't like getting drunk because I have Emetophobia (fear of being sick), and I think my stomach would probably react to alcoholic drink quite quick. Last time I tried a small glass of some sort of alcohol, and when I got into bed that night I felt really sick and I felt like I was about to have the runs, and I couldn't stop burping, what tasted of the drink I had (which made me feel more sick). So drinking is out of the question.
I am allergic to make-up (my Nan is too), and I don't really like wearing make-up anyway, and I don't want to walk into a bar with this blank white face while all the other girls in there are all wearing make-up - I just know I will stand out. I stand out anyway and get unwanted stares, so I don't want that to happen in a bar where there are plenty of judgemental girls. That's just asking for it!
And I know it's quite fun to dance, because you don't exactly have to dance properly, but I feel quite embarrassed to dance. And I don't really like dancing anyway - I'm not really into all that. And all the noise just makes me feel disorientated, and although there are lights, it still feels dingy in bars and places like that. I like to be out and about in daylight where I can see where I'm going.

The last time I went clubbing, I was ill. I had the runs, not sure if it was a tummy bug or if it was just nerves (although I didn't make myself feel nervous at all). I don't like being ill when I'm out, and I didn't want to go to the toilet there because there were some really obnoxious teenage girls hanging out in the toilets for ages, and I did NOT want to be the one heard having the runs in there with them in there! So I sat there in pain, feeling really sick and really ill, and I asked my cousin (who I went with), ''can you take me home now please?'' and she said, ''no, not yet - we've only just got here!'' And I almost cried, and other girls looked at me and laughed......I don't want to be in that situation again!

So I steer clear of places like that. I like to be safe at home, out of the way and, as far as other youngsters know, not exist.

Ugh I went to a nightclub once. The music was garbage (haha it was the early 90s), it was too loud, and my antidepressants were interacting with something. Didn't meet anyone (though I saw people).

I go in bars, I have lived in the same town for 20 years or so now yet have few friends my own age, preferring to talk to older people who do not tend to mind so much of conversation unlike younger people who tend not to have the brains to realise that what you are forming with your mouth are spoken thoughts which might actually have value beyond how big Beyonces ass is this week.

If I am sat in a bar and someone is in a conversation, so long as I observe it is not private only and they are nattering about something like football I will join in, maybe by first asking a question or two on a certain rule, since people like to feel smarter and at least it is a way of getting in

If a couple of people are playing pool I will ask them if I can play the winner..

Approaching someone without some kind of opening though is quite frankly a waste of time, especially as I really do not look that good. I supervise a shop on a Saturday and as an example had the female staff tell my boss that I must be a perv because I do not care about their personal space; is this an NT thing, where they would invade a girls space just to cop a feel when all I am doing is trying to get on with my job which they are in the way of?

I do not think I can be bothered with going to a club and getting in a fight or two because an NT girl is so far up her own ass to see I really do not want to know...

While looks are not a disadvantage, I am looking for that special spark of brilliance much like the crazy scientist girl we all know and love from cheesy television shows (Winifred Burkle springs instantly to mind from Angel, or Keegan Connor Tracy from Jake 2.0 [mmmm]), not someone who thinks they are Gods special gift to the universe.

Anyone who tells you to go to a club to meet someone (especially long term wise) is an idiot.

I absolutely hate bars.

For a past job I was assigned to work for various bars and they're all the same, with interchangeable crowds of hedonists looking to get drunk and get laid. Every time I moved on to a new one I thought the patronage transferred with me, until I realized they're in fact different people. Worst thing is the overstimulation. As others have mentioned, the music is always so loud you can't hear yourself think.

Even as a patron I feel completely out of place at a bar, so I will never be visiting one again.

I'm with 'jojobean'...most of the potential friends or would-be mates I might could find at a bar don't possess/practice the qualities I'd hope to find in others. I wouldn't (under almost any/all circumstances) exchange contact information with someone I'd just met which means, that if I were to try making a friend out of someone I'd met in a bar, I'd have to return there several more times (AND they'd have to return/be a 'regular' also). The effort it takes to 'pep' myself into entering and enduring an environment such as a bar/dance club is practically on a level of marathon training and the person(s) I'd end up befriending, at some point or another, probably would too soon get tired of (or even disgusted with) the unavoidable incompatibilities (especially with that person's likely desire to continue going out to bars because it's 'fun' and they wanna be 'sociable'...see their 'friends'). This is really just contra a quote I made up this year...'Why train if you're not going to sustain?' Why enter and interact within such unconducive situational aspects? So, yeah. "You need to get out to clubs..." is a shallow piece of advice (oversimplified 'shorthand' for 'this is how you get dates/a significant other/etc.') that not only overlooks other options but also often leads to demoralizing 'dead ends'.

it reminds me of when my Uncle told me he was disappointed that I never wound up doing an office job of working in a cubicle.

"yes, Uncle, I never bothered spending time around superficial people, going to the water cooler, and listening to a bunch of brain-dead idiots talk about random topics they heard on the news and around town that they barely know anything about; I'm so sorry I disappointed you"

it reminds me of when my Uncle told me he was disappointed that I never wound up doing an office job of working in a cubicle.

"yes, Uncle, I never bothered spending time around superficial people, going to the water cooler, and listening to a bunch of brain-dead idiots talk about random topics they heard on the news and around town that they barely know anything about; I'm so sorry I disappointed you"

People who usually tell me these things are the people who deny I have aspergers... sigh

During my early adult years, I worked 2nd shift, also every Friday night, and every other weekend, so nights out were rare. I had a buddy that practically insisted we go out those two Saturday evenings a month I had free. He didn't drink, but I had a car. It did work out OK sometimes that I had a designated driver.

One night we went to this dance club, and a gal asked me to dance. I'm not too uncomfortable with that, but the song was "Paradise by the Dashboard Light", absolute torture for a guy. You can't dance to it, it's way too long, and there is an interlude in the middle where there is no music at all. Bars would usually play it at least once a night and it was usually a great time to take a piss.

Anyway we're dancing to this song, and I had twisted my foot earlier in the day so it wasn't going too well (and I'm a decent dancer). The interlude comes along and the girl just walked away. OK, fine...

Later on the same evening, I have a bit of a buzz on, and I actually made some small talk with the rather attractive girl standing next to me watching the dance floor. At one point she took a sip of her drink, pulled out the garnish and said "Would you like my cherry?"

......

The next thing she said was, "Well, you don't have to look like I spit on it!", turned around in a huff, and stormed off. It wasn't until years later that I realized this was probably the most blatant flirting I'd ever experienced, and I was there actually deciding if I wanted to eat a maraschino or not.

I think that was the last time I went out.