People standing/sitting near you.

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I don't like to be crowded into a bench or similar seating arrangement with people on each side of me. It is unpleasant on a good day; on a bad day it will give me a panic attack because i feel like i can't get out. (i know that rationally, i can just say "excuse me" and squeeze past the people--but i can't tell my brain that.) I like my space around me with people i don't know well; or if we must touch me let it be on my terms. There are a few people that, because of past history with them, I cannot stand to be near or be touched by. I have an extended family member who has been very nasty to me and my husband in the past but still thinks he should be able to walk up to me, put an arm around my shoulders and give me a hug. I know it would be considered rude to shrug him off; but it is all i can do not to, at times. I endure it the best i can and get away as soon as possible.

But on the other side of this-- i have a few other family members/friends who will hug me on occasion without reason and strangely, i love it. These are people I trust and who do not have a negative history with myself or my hubby. I tend to be pretty awkward at hugs but still sometimes it feels good to be hugged, mostly when i am very sad and anxious and can't tell anybody about it. (Really, who understands when you are horribly anxious, just out of the blue, for no reason? If i would voice this, most of my family/friends would go looking for some "horrible suppressed trauma" which isn't there. I am just anxious and then most of the world sees this as "crazy." So on those days, a hug from someone i trust is the best thing there is. I don't have to go into details of my anxiety; but i can take comfort in knowing i am still loved.) When someone else takes the initiative it helps with the awkwardness for me.

On public transportation, you have to have people side-by-side with you--especially in a big place like New York City.

Sometimes, people are so impolite! They can at least leave a little breathing room!

If a seat on the train/bus is tight, I just stand up.

I'm the exact same way. I hate being touched or people being near me, it's extremely uncomfortable and I have to ask them to move away. My family gets angry at me but it's not something I can help.

I don't mind people I know being in my space, or even if a stranger is talking to me (like asking me for directions or something), but in general I do feel uncomfortable with strangers standing too close to me. If I'm looking for something in a shop, and someone starts hovering about behind me or stands right next to me looking at the same section as I'm looking at and then starts reaching an arm across my face to get something I'm standing directly in front of, I have to walk away. I just can't bear it. It sometimes makes me jump, or it's too distracting, and I just get agitated.

Joe90, I am exactly the same way!!

I cannot bear to have someone in a shop stand RIGHT NEXT TO me and worse, shove their arm right across my face to get something. I also notice that nobody ever says anything when they do this -- not an "Excuse me" or "Sorry, just getting this" or anything. I find it very rude.

I also can't concentrate when someone is near me looking at the same things I'm trying to choose from. Most of my shopping I buy the same items every week, but I DO have some things I like to take a moment to choose from different types. I find that if strangers are near me I can't focus because I'm agitated. I can't think straight. It's almost like other people have an electrical field and I'm a radio and my signal starts getting messed up and full of white noise. I can't tune in my radio when other people are around. I can't straighten out my thoughts, even just to think "Which coffee?"

I've often wound up coming home with wrong items because I couldn't think properly when someone's nearness distracted me, and I just picked up the wrong thing even while believing it was my usual thing.

It's a problem compounded really badly in London, which is crowded no matter where you are. People in London have lost all sense of a personal bubble of space -- it's been mashed down to zero, and not just in a crowd, but even when they happen to be in a place with some space for everyone to spread out -- they still walk right by you (by which I mean close enough to bash your shoulder or knock your bag or your shopping basket out into the air. I find Londoners very rude about this stuff. Yet it's an oblivious rude.

I used to live in a city with a fraction of the population, and it was aspie heaven because no place you went was ever crowded enough that people couldn't give each other a space bubble, and they always apologized if they had to reach past you to a shelf.

^ ^ ^
I'm glad someone feels the same way.

I don't live in London, I live in {redacted}, and there people are very rude too. The other day I was walking along a path, and these people were coming towards me, one was pushing a pram and had two people walking with her. As I passed, I had to slow right down and almost stop dead, because the nearest person to me did not step aside to make room for me. I was walking right at the edge of the pavement, and I would've stepped into the road if there weren't cars coming, but there was cars coming, so I had to squeeze past these people who did not bother to make any space at all. They must have seen me coming. Most people do see me. When I'm walking along with other people, it's very automatic that I step aside, or step behind the people I'm with, to let passers-by past. It's just an instinct. But here, in this town, people aren't like where I grew up. They seem to be rude, aggressive and think they're the only ones in the whole area.

I don't like sitting near other people unless it's my mom or dad, same with standing near people.

Yes! People not making room on the pavement! I get that too in my city; it drives me crazy. People used to make room for others, but something's changed and it doesn't happen now. I too have had to squeeze past or even step into the road because people just didn't even make any room for me. People used to allow room for others to pass, but now they just spread themselves across all available space and even when they see someone coming, they don't budge. I tend to imagine this must be only a London problem but it's significant to see that it happens in Colchester also. I'm wondering if all of England isn't just falling to pieces with this loss of manners.

This conversation reminds me of the story about Schopenhauer's porcupines.

I believe what I struggle with the most is not the occasional jostling, loud noise, unfiltered conversation (profanity), or people not getting out of my way on the sidewalk. It's the sense of injustice that I go to great lengths to respect other people's rights and personal space - why won't they respect mine? Or at least acknowledge when they cross the line?

I am not sure how big of space we are talking about but most people's personal space is an arm length so they wouldn't want anyone in that space. It has never bothered me if anyone is close to me. My mom had to teach me personal space and it took me a while to remember the arm length rule. This rule doesn't apply in a crowded bus or train or elevator or tram. I remember being in high school, and girls on the softball team would be telling me where to stand because I was too close and my mom used to grab my shirt and stuff if I was walking too close behind someone.

I always feel a bit uncomfortable when people stand behind me and I can hear them breathe.

I can relate, as well. People standing near me, I guess it depends. Sometimes I'm bothered by it, other times I'm not.

aaacckkk. I hate when I can hear people breathing close to me, if it is a stranger or someone i don't know well. Someone i know well it is not so bad.

I get something like this too. Not quite an itchy electrical feeling, but I am acutely aware of other people's presence - their breathing, their body odour, their general energy - to the point where it can be very distracting and uncomfortable. While it is different for people I know, trust and like, anyone else needs to stay the hell out of my personal space.

I feel this way too. Don't know if I can dowse for water but my dad can and I wouldn't be surprised if I inherited that ability. Also this sensitivity probably explains why my dad's ancestors wanted to settle in a really out of the way place where they could have lots of space around them and keep to themselves.

I live in NY. It's a pain to be on the subway or buses. My biggest problem is when there are school trips. Had a class of young kids reaching over me, crunching up against me, high pitched voices all squealing at once. Literally had three kids that kept playing 'thumb wars' right in front of my face.

Uggghhhhh....and the teens aren't much better, just more graphic in language and volume.

Fortunately, I do not have to go out often. I used to think I was agoraphobic. Then I realized it wasn't the open spaces I didn't like. It was the interaction with people. And, I hate people behind me. No way to escape that here.