How do you deal with coworkers that dislike you

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My first long term job I was verbally and mentally bullied everyday so I spit in their drinks in food whenever I had a chance to. I even served slimmy rotten chicken wings to one schmuck all I did was make the hot sauce extra hot so he would not notice it. The idiot had to go home mid-shift with the runs.

My other 9 year job the boss kept telling me to stop arguing with people. They would argue with me because I say some funny but f#cked up things. So my coworkers messed with me on this job just to hear me make fun of someone.

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Last edited by Quixotic on 21 Nov 2011, 5:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

1. Immerse yourself in your work. If you perform well, others are more likely to overlook idiosyncrasies

2. Observe others. I like to use the analogy of living among the gorrillas. Watch, learn and be very careful about emulating behaviors until you're sure of how they'll be interpreted or you may end up with someone flinging poop at you. I find that the scientific observer approach helps to diffuse a lot of the social pressure. People around you will just assume that you're shy or quiet.

3. Learn to act. Individuals usually adopt a different persona in a work environment anyways. So, just take it a step further. Create a character for yourself that's "NT You" and just adjust your interactions to fit that "role". Ask yourself if what you're about to do or say is "in character" and adjust it accordingly.

4. Find a connection. If you can find someone that you can connect with and be more of yourself around, you can use them as a sounding board or even as a sanity-check for your own behaviors. It's sometimes hard to judge yourself and having a confidant that's watching your back can be very helpful.

5. Never do anything out of impulse. If you find yourself in conflict with bullies that you're unable to solve always work out a solution with your boss. Those who are prone to have meltdowns know what I mean by "impulse". Don't cause your coworkers freak out by your eccentric behavior. The CEO just made it clear to me that if I do that again I won't get a second chance. OTOH, she offered help.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

You do not know what went on in that place. If you are quiet they throw things, if you are busy they sabotage your work. I am a not a door matt you mess with me I react and you suffer. If they saw me out of work they got the F#CK out of there. They knew I would beat them up and quite possibly rape them if I could get my hands on them. (I am talking about guys not women ) The restaurant is now out of business I openly cheered when I heard about on the local news.

I usually just try to not pay attention to them or let it get to me. I try to just focus on work (that's why I'm there in the first place) and on having a somewhat good working relationship with my colleagues. I keep myself busy at work, so that I'll think less about what I'm missing out on socially by being a social outcast.

It does bother me though that I'm always an outsider and can't seem to form any kind of a social relationship or friendship with any of my colleagues. 90% of them ignore me or avoid me and probably dislike me. The other 10% don't seem to dislike me or avoid me and they will talk to me and such, but I'm still always an outsider. My colleagues have breakfast together or go out for lunch together or someone will go buy take away for those who want some, but nobody ever invites me along or asks me if I'd want some too and if I happen to be eating in the dining room at the same time as my colleagues then most of them ignore me anyway.

I end up hating every job after a while because of the people. I always feel excluded and like such an outsider socially and sometimes there's bullying too or attempts to take advantage of me.

On average I've stayed at most jobs for about a year and then I haven't been able to take it anymore and changed jobs to get away from the people. My current job is by far the longest one I've ever had, not because I like it any better than my previous ones, but because just I don't have a choice with the way the economy is going now.

I just dont talk to them or look at them, i hate ppl who dislike me at work.

Some people tell the manager things make things up...gosh...

Same here.

What about when the boss is the bully? That's the kind of crap I've run into before.

If only I was not so sensative to peoples vibes.....then I could better ignore if they don't like me or whatever, but I can feel it and it makes me feel like crap. Then again I don't think its nessisarly good to just take that kind of crap even if you are lucky enough to be able to without suffering too much damage.

I worked in the same place for 11 years. My colleagues either loved me, and thought I was the best thing since sliced bread, or they disliked me, for unknown reasons. At one point, I worked in a team of all women and they were downright horrible about everyone. They were all afraid to visit the toilet, as they knew they would be bitched about when they went, but they were nice to their face. I was given a really hard time from them, to my face, and I was fortunate to be moved into another team, when we had a staffing review. I sometimes see them these days, I ignore them and they ignore me, it's fine, I don't care. But, if I meet anyone else, they want to hug me. I've come to the conclusion that the problem was with that lot, not me.

I am presently on disability because I don't cope with it. Actually I don't mind people disliking me it is the fact that when they don't like you they will mock you, bully you and generally make your life a misery that I don't cope with.

My diagnosis is Severe Social Anxiety though and not ASD, although I suspect I may have an ASD since my inability to socialise well and make friends has been life long and no matter how much therapists say "relax and it will come to you naturally" it does not lol. Socialising is very hard work and gives me headaches trying to figure it all out! I'd rather write a 2000 word essay on the nervous system than go to a party...at least the essay is fun and does not confuse me! My therapists always think my social anxiety is about embarrassment...but embarrassment has virtually nothing to do with it. I don't really get embarrassed very often because I think people get embarrassed over the strangest things.

I just find socialising really hard and tiring.

As for social events things like parties, as with city centres, are also too noisey! It gives me a migraine.

Last edited by bumble on 21 Nov 2011, 3:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.

It never ends...those games go on and on and on and on. They are like the energiser bunny when it comes to game playing. I keep hoping they will run out of battery power but nope! In 36 years I have never known it stop.

I really wish people would be straight up instead of playing games...