Enough I say!

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Are you saying that perhaps reading everyone else's venting of frustrations and sadness has in fact helped you a little?

Well I do agree that there should be happier threads which last I've checked there are. Have you been hanging out at The Haven mostly? You think this is depressing??

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU[/youtube]

I have blue, pink and purple hair, it takes people attention from the fact that i can't look at people, or speak to them very easily, because they mostly stare at that instead of taking notice of me

This is just my opinion, so take it for what it's worth. What you and the OP experienced, IMHO, is not "hate." It's Autism. Misunderstandings rooted in Autism. For the most part anyway.

Many here have very real problems. Serious problems. Serious problems that are frequently minimized by society as "common problems everyone has." What most who say things like that do not understand is that the problems caused by Autism are anything BUT "common." It's the severity and frequency and number of of problems we have that are not common at all. That's why there is a diagnosis.

I don't think you or the OP intentionally minimized Autistic problems. It's just that the approach you both used sounds an awful lot like the approach of people who don't believe AS or high functioning Autism is a real disability. You may not have meant it that way, but that's how similar your messages sound.

If that is not what you or the OP meant, then clearly what happened was a misunderstanding. And those are very common among Autistics. From what I've seen on WP in the eighteen or so months I've been here, it's even more common between Autistics than between Autistics and NT's. Try to remember that a LOT of us get messages like, "it's no big deal, get over it..." from society, and that's frustrating enough. When we here it from one of our own, it can be far more frustrating and angering.

I do not know if that's what either of you intended. What I do know is that if it isn't what you intended, it would help smooth things over a lot if you would just say so. If it IS what you intended, you need to learn that "Quit 'yer bitchin' and get over it," never flies well in the face of anyone with genuinely serious problems that they don't know how to solve on their own.

That isn't helpful. Understanding is. If you don't understand why some are so down on themselves, ASK them. Show some interest. Don't just step into a room full of depressed people and announce that their depression is no big deal they they can all simply "will away." Nobody chooses to feel like crap. Nobody.

If it were as simple as willing away bad feelings, no one on earth would ever be depressed.

It may have worked for you. That doesn't mean it works for everyone. You may have tried it and willed it away yourself because somebody told you, "It worked for me, it'll work for you, and work for everyone." That's great if it did, but you need to know the statement is not true. It DOESN'T work for everyone.

There is more doom and gloom in the Haven, but that's what it's there for.

QFT

Thank you.
It is not just "a symptom" that occurs once in a while. "A symptom" where people say: "I also experience it sometimes". One experiences it every day. And not only one problematic "symptom", but many. Again every day. It is no question of "letting it go". Especially not, when you reach the age, where society expects you to be well-functioning, having a job, having children, drive a car and many things more. Also little stuff like "being a good aunt" for your little niece. "Why do you never take care of her?" - Well, I can't. "Why do you never call?" - Well, because I alienate from people (even close family) and can't do nothing about it.
I would, if I could.

Last edited by Eloa on 12 Dec 2011, 5:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes and no. I do not think you were inebriated when you posted. At a guess I'd say you were stone cold sober. And frankly, having read the thread, let's not go back there.

Not that drunkenness is an excuse for anything.

What you and the current OP have in common is that you are both incredibly young( which you can't help and which is fine) whereas many others have been through a lot more ups and downs than you could currently even imagine.

Advice along the line, let's all just focus on being happy and magically we will is perhaps part of your positive outlook on life and youthfulness but i find it a bit patronising. I am not on antidepressants because I choose to be unhappy but because I am trying to get better.

They won't come if you build something crappily .

No, you didn't get hate. You just worded it wrong, right? And then you made a post apologizing for whatever you worded wrong. Or something like that. Anyway, about the OP, would you say this stuff if you were completely sober? Or would you deliver your message in a less heated way?

OP, I think you have your causality backwards. People aren't depressed because they're complaining, they're complaining because they're depressed.

And support can be a tricky thing. You come across as saying, "no one should be allowed to complain," which oppressive and not helpful. I'd bet most here have probably heard that in other places in IRL. For me, when I was pretty young I stopped telling anyone about anything internal because they never understood it and would always disregarded it in a similar way.

If you're feeling great at the moment because you're high, fine -- enjoy it. But I know from experience that that feeling that you have "the answer" at times like that is transient and an illusion. Tomorrow, you go straight back to the real world with all the same problems. "Thinking happy," while not a flat-out bad thing, isn't going to be sufficient to solve problems that are not trivial.

I think MrXxx, above, said what I'm trying to say better than I can.

Your namesake said that "life is suffering," and basically, 'so learn how to be happy anyway.' That idea is deceptively simple. I'd say it's taken me 40 years to even scratch the surface of what that really means. And it may never fully understand it, even if given another 40 years. So, it's not a good thing to casually toss around. It's too easy for it to sound like "shut up."

Well I was going to post more angrily at the OP, but when I got to the drunk part I thought about my attitude when I am drunk and could see where the OP was coming from. I usually feel more optimistic when I drink and even tell myself that I should quit moping around and enjoy myself....so that's just my opinion on this whole thing. Also I am glad it was in the general discussion section than the haven, otherwise it would have bothered me a bit.

You know, both parties here are correct...............

Ideally WP should be used as a therapy tool, some value is gained by depressive introspection, yet in the long term this will be harmful...

Just like anything in life really.... for everything their is a time, a place and a season. If its not your time or place, log off!

However, I agree with the OP to a point.... a frog in warm water just doesnt know when things start to get hot....

And WP may inadvertently cause suffering to some negativity prone members, unable to find the light of day, due to immersion in negative rhetoric

poop happens, people die, the world turns, people tell you to snap out of it all the time......

cheers buddha ears

Drinking and prozac doesn't mix.

Actually, I'm very happy with my life and I see my AS as comething to be cherished and celebrated. The reason that I choose to celebrate is because I've made many achievements that my parents thought that I would never make and I see AS as more of a difference that can be fun and exciting. I also have interests that I wouldn't have, if I wasn't on the spectrum.

I wasn't always this happy. My parents would always make it clear that they didn't like the idea of me having special interests. There were times as a teenager that I would have been willing to go though brain surgery to get rid of my special interests, not to make myself happy but to make my parents happy, because they wouldn't have to hear about them anymore.

I don't feel that way anymore. I feel like celebrating my special interests, quirks and everything else that makes me the person that I am, today.

That's a great outlook, your parents actually wanted you to go through experimental brain surgery to try and "fix" you though? Wow, my parents were pretty kind to me compared to this(my dad more than my mum, he's AS too). But yeah, this is what I'm talking about! weirdness is something to celebrate, however, my interests were perhaps a little questionable, namely, my obsession with lockpicking (not for what you think, I like how locks transform data into mechanical components, so fun to fiddle with!) but anyway, great to see some people have been able to be so upbeat about this =D.