This video is just disgraceful to the autistic community.

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I agree totally. If you can't handle the chance your kid may not be perfect, then don't have any.

It just seemed like a stupid thing to say. No one is prepared for a child with a disability. No one is going to avoid trying for a child because of a slight risk. And what about people that weren't expecting a child, let alone a child with a disability? That family wasn't talking asking for some 'perfect little genius'. They wanted to see their child take advantage of the talents they do have, yet they were constantly held back by the childs weaknesses.



What I meant was, I don't think that these parents simply don't like their disabled child. I highlighted your sentence in bold... I thought I was clear, sorry. Communication error?



Yes, I disagreed with that comment. But I don't believe that the particular attitude we were talking about (as I understood it) necessarily leads to abuse. I can see what you mean a bit more clearly now. Yes, if the parents don't have a whole lot of respect for their child they are unlikely to treat them well. When I use the term defective to describe autism I don't mean it in such a way as people with autism are any less of a person than anyone else. It's just an acknowledgement that we have certain disadvantages.



I have no experience or knowledge of any autism-related murders, or attempts by guilty parents for sympathy. I don't blame the parent for having those thoughts. She should not have mentioned them in front of her child though. I can only assume she thought the kid wouldn't understand what it meant. Disturbing.

Redacted

Last edited by nat4200 on 19 Apr 2012, 5:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

BUT...on the bright side.

The George Washington bridge. Where would she drive off?? With all that traffic on top of that.



I'm tired of the woe is me crap these parents say. There is no excuse to say all of that in front of your child. If the child had to listen to that and the mother seemed uncaring about how her autistic child would feel... imagine what the child is hearing on several occasions.

Oh wait, I forget. She's autistic and doesn't matter.

Such empathy pouring out. Must be nice to have all of that empathy!

As per this blog post, that's a message a lot of people believe in. Just one paragraph about how people spoke of these parents who murdered their own disabled children:



And this bit, which simply reiterates what I was saying earlier:

It's only because of Lauren (her normal child)...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7NTfZzS9b8[/youtube]

Lol.

I can see what you're saying, but I just don't believe you have the capacity to love every possible type of person out there. There are some sick fellows out there in the world today.




Groovy.

Last edited by The_Perfect_Storm on 19 Dec 2011, 3:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

(claps)

This video is obviously causing controversy in other places as well. This is just an all-out BAD video, that never should have been made in the first place. There are plenty of other methods out there to show on film what having an autistic child is like, and it should NOT have been done like this, or in this manner. I'm sure they were just trying to get the point across to everyone on what having an LD child can be like, especially for parents. It's not easy, I can tell you that right now. But I still will not have pity for this.

Obviously it wasn't done with the right precautions.

They could have edited that out if the mother said something that they didn't agree with..

I've picked through stories over the years about parental abuse and murder of disabled children. It is, in fact, a topic that I've been reading about for as long as I've read about autism (about four years). The blog post I linked in my previous post in this thread discusses the phenomenon.



Yeah, that was probably a communication error. I don't think they dislike their children. But I think that the problem is not just that parents don't know how to parent a disabled child (and most really do not, and the good parents learn along the way - there are several here on WP, such as Nostromo (or is it Nostromos? I forget the precise spelling). The problem is that when parents don't know how to parent their disabled children and they screw up? They abuse their child, neglect their child, even kill their child? The media showers us with requests to empathize with their pain and fear and heartbreak for having to deal with a disabled child, and there's very little sympathy for the child, and I suspect there's a general attitude that the child is in "a better place" or was better off dead, etc.



I understand. I didn't think you meant that. But then you have people in the media saying things like:



From:

http://illusionofcompetence.blogspot.co ... pathy.html

And this has a bit more information too:

http://illusionofcompetence.blogspot.co ... style.html

And I think when many people say defective, they mean exactly that. That they are not fully human.



The thoughts I don't blame anyone for. People have thoughts. People have negative, nasty, terrible thoughts. It's how they act on those thoughts - and in her case, thinking that she can say those things in front of her daughter.

I remember my parents saying things in front of me that I suspect they didn't think I could understand. At the time, I couldn't, but I can remember them and I do understand them now. They never talked about killing me, though. Mostly just how lazy and useless I was.

Well, to you're dismay, I am capable of loving everyone, believe it or not. Why wouldn't I be able to love every person out there? Because i'm slightly autistic? That's BS. Sure, I may not like people, or may not know them personally, or I might not even like the things they may do, But Everyone has a genuine and caring side to them. It may be harder for others to show it, but trust me, it's there.

That is what I look for. And that is what matters the most.

Last edited by Sansomrocks1027 on 19 Dec 2011, 3:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

The controversy is largely over, as the video is several years old. It is frustrating that it remains as it is now, but it does seem that Autism Speaks is trying to improve how they talk about autism and autistic people. Aghogday has more information on that than I do, but I take his word for it.

I find the entire topic extremely frustrating because of a lot of other history.

When I was a teenager my mother told me she wished she never had me. That really hurt. Now, I can only imagine what it would feel like to have had my mother say that she wanted to kill herself and me. The mother may have believed her child wouldn't understand, and the child may have been too young to understand, but that child will grow up and see this video. How will that child feel? It is one thing to have thoughts and feelings like the mother has experienced, and one shouldn't have to keep those feelings inside, but I don't believe anyone should tell their child (and the world) about them. THAT mother has no empathy, despite being "NT". It also disgusts me that anyone, let alone a group that claims to be speaking for autism, would even film this because of the repercussions to the child.

Right. Well, this video is new to me, so of course i'm going to open my mouth and say something about it, when I really can't do much about the situation, as is. But, I have a voice, and better late then never right? And That's why i'm whole-heartedly against Autism Speaks. They make it seem like it's this big horrible epidemic/crisis.

Last edited by Sansomrocks1027 on 19 Dec 2011, 3:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

Look at my posts in this thread. I just thought I'd offer a timeline.