Would you abort your baby if...

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League_Girl
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01 Jan 2012, 12:50 pm

Sibyl wrote:

League_Girl wrote:

Sibyl wrote:

In China, where they only allow one child per family, a lot of parents abort baby girls because if there's only going to be one, they want a boy, who traditionally takes care of his parents, while a girl takes care of her husband's parents. Baby girls who aren't aborted are often killed after birth, or abandoned and wind up in orphanages.

And they are havign a women shortage now so men are having a hard time getting wives and starting a family. I think they ought to outlaw gender abortions. If the baby is healthy, they won't be allowed to abort it. Of course then women would be trying to hurt themselves to get their bodies to miscarry. Abortions have been going on for years and years long before it became legal here. But it was a dangerous thing to do back then.

The Chinese government has tried that, actually, outlawing ultrasound except for good reason, so the parents won't know the gender of the baby, and forbidding ultrasound technicians from _telling_ the gender of the baby. That may just fuel the newborn killings and abandonments. They pretty much have to encourage abortions in general, though, since they have this goal of reducing the population. Which actually makes sense, though I wish it could be done by birth control alone.

So why did it fail?

Mom also told me that back in the days people used to kill their babies if they had a girl. Now they can't anymore because it's now illegal so they are stuck with it or they put their baby in the orphanage. I bet those places are filled with female kids. maybe i just answered my own question.

But I always wonder where do all the women come from who have kids and have jobs? Perhaps they were lucky their parents kept them and didn't care what they were. Just like back in the days how women had baby girls and would kill them.

Maybe if they changed the laws for women and have men and women be treated equal, there be no more gender abortions. That be a smart move to make. Everyone there is to blame who has ever done an abortion based on gender. I would also say the laws are to blame too because that is what started it all.
Maybe

Joe90
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01 Jan 2012, 12:52 pm

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Everybody goes through life differently, some have it worse than others, NT or not. Just because it turned out one way for you doesn't mean it will turn out the same way for someone else, and don't think every NTs life is just peaches and cream either.

No, I don't believe in that. I don't go around thinking, ''oh my god, if I was NT my life would be perfect and I would be a well-adjusted person without no worries''. I do know that social interaction skills isn't some sort of problem-killer. If anything, most NTs seem to have more issues in their life than me.

But the point is, an average child with descent and ordinary upbringing should fit in at school. All children have at least one friend at school. Well, that's what I experienced all through school. I had some social skills, I joined in games, I made normal eye-contact, I tried my best with others, but somehow nobody seemed to want to have a normal friendship with me. There was always something off about me what others couldn't put their finger on, and even I couldn't, and everybody else seemed to be able to have normal friendships and they didn't have double standards for eachother like they did for me (except it was ''boys vs girls'' a lot of the time, but that didn't really count). But with me, I had to cope through school all on my own, with no friends to hold on to.

And I just don't want my child to feel the same way.

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01 Jan 2012, 12:54 pm

Tyazii wrote:

You discovered it would be Neurotypical?

Now they know how it feels.

I was with diagnosed Aspergers a few months ago. A couple of days ago in the supermarket, just by chance, I overheard two women speaking about aspergers:

"If you were preganant with an Asperger, would you abort it?"
"Oh yes, I wouldn't want to blah blah blah,"

Why are Neurotypicals so ignorant and intollerant?
Has anything similar ever happened to you?

No. I wouldn't abort a kid becuase they were going to be nuerotypical. I have a NT child to prove it.

As far as the supermarket conversation, I probably would have butted my way in and set the record straight. I am told it is rude to overlisten to conversations and push your way in, but if it is something I am passionate about, I need to set the record straight. Screw their social rules. If they don't want people overlistening and interrupting then they shouldn't talk about it in public out loud.

League_Girl
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01 Jan 2012, 1:09 pm

ediself wrote:

As someone said before, they must be a bit ignorant. I have an aspie son and an NT daughter, there are strenghts and weaknesses in both types. Just because your child is NT doesn't make him or her perfect, and knowing your child is autistic doesn't mean you know everything you need to know about him or her....there is personality, intelligence, kindness, there is a lot to discover in any type of child and you're always amazed when you get to know them as they grow up, being autistic doesn't change that.... being NT either, by the way.
I was a little bit scared that my daughter might be NT, I pictured a heartless bully , she started lying at 18 months old lol........ but what made her different also made her special, the first time she brought me a decorative flower plate thingy and a pen, and proceeded to feed me imaginary food with that, the pen being a spoon, she was not at all verbal yet, she barely walked, and I thought.......oh god, how SMART is that child?! ! as every parent probably does. I now find her attempts at lying pretty cute (the cat farted is my favourite lol....), and i know it doesn't come from a mean spirit or anything, she's just a normal NT kid who needs to be taught right from wrong (which I never had to do with my son, but I adapted, on the other hand she never had to be taught safe from deadly, I never once had to save her life, when my son at her age was a huge danger to himself, so really there are good things in both cases)

Her doing pretend play like she did with her pen and flower plate wasn't lying. It was called using her imagination. Is a child lying when they are playing house or pretending to be a construction worker or a nurse or doctor when they play? I can remember having an active imagination as a small child so I was pretending to cook, pretending to be a mother, playing dress up, pretending to be a grown up, playing house, pretending to be a teacher while playing school or pretending to be the student. I knew none of this was real as I was doing them.

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01 Jan 2012, 1:10 pm

No, I wouldn't want to do that to a child Nuerotypical or not....

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01 Jan 2012, 1:23 pm

League_Girl wrote:

ediself wrote:

Oh no I know that, I'm no saying she was lying, I probably didn't express myself very well. I just meant that she surprised me when she started this, my son didn't pretend play until way later than this, I remember trying with him , for example giving him a spoonful of play doh and he'd look at me weird and say " eat?"
like, really, mom? lol....

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League_Girl
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01 Jan 2012, 1:26 pm

Circle989898 wrote:

whats so bad about Autism?

Uh maybe they can end up low functioning they be able to take care of themselves and express themselves. Have you seen severe autism?

It's human nature to want a perfect child. I am betting that lot of parents would have had an abortion if they knew how their kid would have turned out but they are not going to admit it. Heck lot of parents wish if they could do it over again, they would never have kids, NT or not. Even parents of NT kids are stressed out and miserable but my husband thinks those people are in the minority. I read in a childfree blog that a study was done in the 1970's and 70% said they would never had kids if they could do it over again. That is a lot. It's even all over tru mom confessions and you can even google "I hate being a mom."

League_Girl
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01 Jan 2012, 1:29 pm

ediself wrote:

League_Girl wrote:

ediself wrote:

Oh. I thought you were using that as an example of her lying lol.

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01 Jan 2012, 1:35 pm

Tyazii wrote:

I like how you've turned the tables. Very good

But I wouldn't, no. Why would I sink myself down to their level?

LiendaBalla
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01 Jan 2012, 2:35 pm

Where have I seen this before? Oh yeah! I've seen it in some egotistical people who feel like some kind of God's prize, while people around them quietly and polightly wish they didn't exist. The same sort who think that such silence or avoidance is some kind of low self-esteme, when really people just want relief, but cope with it anyway.

LiendaBalla
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01 Jan 2012, 2:43 pm

I sat on the bus once with some racist preaching in my ear. When he got off, everyone sighed with relief, because we didn't have to listen to him anymore. That kind of "coping".

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01 Jan 2012, 2:52 pm

That's just horrible. My husband and I spent 8 years trying for a baby, then our daughter was finally conceived, with the help of IVF. We knew she was different from the day she was born and she's now waiting to be assessed for ASD, probably Aspergers. If those women ever met her, I'm sure they'd change their minds - they sound really uneducated. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me and there's no Mum prouder than me, in the whole world (with very good reason).

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01 Jan 2012, 3:04 pm

Abortion is horrendous and disgusting. In my opinion, we have no right to take away anyone's chance at life, no matter what their circumstances may end up being. People are so ignorant.

League_Girl
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01 Jan 2012, 3:19 pm

Maybe if more and more aspies say they have AS and they all have happy jobs, have jobs and are married or living independently on their own, maybe they will change their mind. Same as if they start reading about it and books about it such as by Temple Grandin or John Robison or Jerry Newport and his wife, Laine Holliday Willey, and Valerie whoever (the one who wrote Elijah's Cup), and by someone who wrote Freaks and Geeks and Asperger's, whatever the book is called. All those people are high functioning and do they look like they should have been aborted?

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01 Jan 2012, 3:48 pm

My soon-to-be fiance is NT, and I have AS. She's already well aware that if she had a child, it could come out either way. We don't see it being too big of an issue.

If the child was NT, I would be happy that he/she would grow up less likely to experience the difficulties that I did. At the same time, they would be raised with a healthy respect for people with AS.

If the child was born with AS or another form of autism, they would be fortunate that they could identify with their father and get help that many others couldn't provide. I would imagine that my bond with them might be stronger this way.

There are only two extreme scenarios where I could possibly see abortion being an option, and AS/NT is not one of them. Overall I am opposed to it.

mad_monkey
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01 Jan 2012, 5:57 pm

Abortion is touchy, the protesters don't help and neither do pro aborters. It's too personal for most to even think about. Did OP consider that they were joking? Some people are dark humoured

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