Were you/ are you bullied?

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I do something like that fraac, I think of it as my ego which arrived one day when a kid. But I do zoom out myself, viscerally. It detaches me from caring and I zoom out to overview, to find out what really matters. I don't think there is a situation I can't unengage from. When being challenge by anything, I zoom out. Then I zoom back in collected. I did it as a kid at school when I was being hit by other kids, having s**t thrown at me, etc, etc.

I wish people could do it when they are hurting over the sh***y treatment from NT strangers. Strangers do not matter (for example many in The Haven who are hurt by the opinions of others). Only I matter and those I decide to love. But thats obviously easy to say, so I apologise to anyone who thinks it trivialises what is real.

(fraac, you already know I dont think one brain can have a "top-down" view of humanity, as it seems screamingly flawed. I'm simply talking about looking in overview from a proper disengaged distance to learn stuff. I have once or twice, even more physically left my body, and looked down as a viewer. )

I was picked on throughout high school (age 11 to 17). I don't remember anything physical, it was all verbal abuse, but even in the middle of class, in full view of the teachers, who did nothing about it. It followed me to uni. Everything was OK in 1st and 2nd year, probably because the classes were huge and it was easy to be invisible. But, in the 3rd year, it started it up again. I remember one girl acting all strange with me when she found out I was engaged (kind of like, who'd want to marry you?). When I was doing presentations, she'd sit at the back with a friend and they'd snigger. I think her treatment of me is why I developed such severe social anxiety and left with my ordinary degree, when I was more than capable of getting a good honours. She failed and wouldn't even be there in the 4th year, but I had completely lost my confidence.

Group situations can be difficult for Aspies,I try to avoid them when I can.Many people with AS shut down when in group situations and bullies are very aware when someone won't defend themselves in a group situation.