How do you deal with Asperger-related social anxiety?

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I'm exactly the same as the OP. As soon as I walk out the front door, I feel like I'm on display and everyone is watching out ready to critique me, and make fun of me if I make a mistake.

Work is very tiring, as I'm constantly rehearsing responses in my head, making sure that I'm looking happy, trying to make the right body language, watching other people very intently to see if I've made a mistake.

Even driving to and from work, I'm worried that I might be holding up traffic, or won't be able to get into the correct lane to exit the fwy, waited too long for a gap to turn etc.

I end up exhausted at the end of the day.

Psychs are a waste of time - they just tell you to go and be social, put yourself in a social situation out of your comfort zone and after a while, it won't be so bad. WRONG. Its always bad.

The anxiety does work for me though, because I can almost pass as an NT. A slightly weird, reserved, shy person, but I doubt anyone would even consider ASD.

I have severe social anxiety. I keep thinking that I'm the spotlight all the time, that I'm a living joke, and everybody notices me and they laugh at me or comment something about me, like I'm the most quaint person in the world. That makes me feel like I'm worse than everybody else, and that I shouldn't be out. I look in the mirror and see just an ordinary-looking 22-year-old, and wonder what it is that is so noticable. People look at me like I'm some ogre with two heads, and it just disturbs me. Another part of social phobia is ''feeling like everybody's watching you'' or ''fear of doing tasks with strangers watching or judging you'', and this is exactly me. This is why I'm afraid to go out on my own and do things like going shopping. It's because I think I'm always in the spotlight, always noticed, always being stared at, always the figure of ridicule, so I'm afraid to do things like get stuff off the shelves, push the trolley along, and pay at the till (especially using the self-service check-out). I just think everybody's watching me, and just taking notice of me and me only, always thinking ''oh there's a very amusing girl over there.....she's doing normal tasks in a normal way but there's something about her what is making me want to stand and stare at her.....oh, and what's she doing now? Oh dear, she dropped a packet of carrots, what a clumsy oaf! And oh, now she's putting another packet of carrots into her trolley......oh what has she got in her trolley? Pfft, she's in the third aisle and only has a few small items in her trolley, what an idiot she is, why couldn't she have got a smaller trolley or a shopping basket? And, oh, she's bending down to get something off the bottom shelf but can't find what she's looking for.....oh, she's found it now, it was right in front of her, what a knob! Somebody, put this weirdo out of her misery!'' .........and so on. That's what I think people are thinking of me all the time. The paranoid thoughts are non-stop. Even if I tell myself they're not judging me or noticing me, doubt still creeps into my mind. I try not to make much eye contact with people, I try to just concentrate on my own thoughts and what I've come into the supermarket to do, just like everybody else, but that still doesn't stop negative thoughts from taking over my mind.

It takes over my mind so much that it's making me rather ill. Then I think ''oh come off of it, they can't all notice me like that, I know I'm not THAT outrageous, I'm not dressed in a clown custome or have quaint looks and have a bizarre way of walking and talking and doing things!'' but then I think, ''but what if they ARE all staring at me? What if I look so weird that it's noticable?'' I don't want to be noticed by everyone. I feel like their eyes are burning a hole in my face, and I can't seem to do anything without knowing that somebody's watching me. It creeps me out. NTs don't like being stared at (according to WP), so why stare at me? Shouldn't they know that I feel the same way they would if they got stared at, if they have so much empathy......
(NTs have empathy....heh heh, yeah right!)

It's really ruining my independance.

I find myself rehearsing scenarios in my head all the time in anticipation of being asked a question, being acused of something, spontaneous woman approaching me. I have to admit that a lot of my mental resources are taken up by this and I wish I could stop it, but I think it's hard-wired in to me!

I also 'avoid' socializing, as it can't be agreed for any time at all, where I live, what that's supposed to mean. I will not keep doing the same things the same way & expecting different results, like that isn't foolish & stupid, no matter how much some irrational idiots insist it's 'negative'. Then, removing the anxiety does not address anyof the difficulties about which I'm anxious, does it? Perhaps I just can't get enough out of socializing (nor put enough in) to justify the incredible amount of effort & so on required, when I can choose not to do it.

I had a panic attack in the shower like a week and a half ago about dying. the steam in the room made the expieriance all the more terrifying because it feel like my breath was leaving my body, i litterly had to get out soaking wet and put my head between my knees to change the subject. then i resumed my day without further incident

anxiety is a ruthless b-tard sometimes but what is the alterative? take meds and gain weight like a whale?

no thanks.

sorry, i read the title wrong so ignore my post.

My social anxiety is so bad that I actually have dreams of people watching me and judging me! Some nights I wake up thinking there is somebody standing or sitting in my room looking at me, and I'm laying there panicking and thinking ''oh no, I don't want strangers looking at me in bed....''

i have decided not to get socially involved its a rather rocky road for me and damages my psyche more

One thing that really helps me is exercise, specifically running several miles.

TBH I drink. When I drink I find it much easier to fit in. If I can't drink I just sit off by myself and wait for someone to approach me. I don't know how to deal with large social situations when I'm not drinking.

I totally relate. After 30 years of working on it, I'm better now at social stuff and can usually fake what I need to without trauma. The other day, though, I had to do a one-on-one social thing at a bar with a coworker who's higher up the work ladder than I am. Even though this person is probably technically a friend by now, and "all" we did was chit-chat (my coworker did 90% of it, as I kept sensing I was saying stupid things but not knowing it) I was filled with anxiety through most of it (even though I had two alcoholic drinks), having trouble maintaining eye contact, etc. I think I faked my way through it good enough, but it was really painful and exhausted me clear into the next day.

I went the first time thinking I'd be fine. If I get invited again though I will be in a panic, anticipating anxiety before I even get there.

Total pain.

i was afraid to go into mcdonald and order something to eat, because i was afraid i'd say/do something stupid, or trip and fall, or not understand what the casheir was saying, and everyone will think, 'oh, what a moron'. and everyone will stare. i was in my early twenties...
i learned to only say neutral things to people. i also go over imagined conversations in my mind, and think how i can say only neutral things. after all, talking about the weather never insulted anyone.
i used to worry constantly about my expression and the look in my eyes. do i have an over eager expression, an indifferent/insulting/ignorant/ whatever. but i learned to just leave it neutral and not worry about it so much.
i worried about not expressing my feeling, not letting the other person know how i feel, and therefore made very awkward and embarrassing ettempts at showing my emotions. i learned to not try. the other person will find out how i feel sooner or later. if i like him, or identify with his sorrow or loss, NTs have a knack for knowing what the other person is feeling, anyway, and just because i wouldnt guess how the other is feeling under the circumstances that he doesnt wear his heart on his sleeve doesnt mean they won't.

Hugs for Joe 90.