Adults with Aspergers Seem 'Normal' to Me

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If you looked at me for a short period of time in a controlled setting, you'd likely not notice I was autistic. I made it to age 22 without a diagnosis. I've done things like graduate college.

There is absolutely no way that I'm not disabled. The fact that an individual who doesn't know what to look for doesn't see my problems doesn't mean that they're not there.

-Most of my identifying of emotions (in myself and others) is "positive" vs "negative". I can't tell the difference between if someone is tired, very upset, or angry at me. These look identical to me. However, I don't talk about emotions in public or in most situations.

-I don't know how to do things like participate in small talk at all. This highly annoys my parents and will mess with my relationship with them. Me not doing things like these make me come across as I'm shy yet able despite not being able.

-I cannot predict the flow of conversations. I'm very prone to doing things like interrupting people because I didn't realize they would start talking, and because the difference in time between when I consider myself beginning to say something in terms of the mental processes and when words first come out of my mouth is usually at least 30 seconds. However, I'm obsessed with not hurting people and will not say anything instead of risking doing this to people. I look like I'm not interested in their conversation and just reading instead.

-I had abnormal speech, but I had a decade of speech therapy and only sound like I have a foreign accent now.

-I stim regularly, but my stims including using sign language, which makes me look like its purposeful. One of the biggest things that I do is fidget with theraputty. This is something that is used for healing after injuries. I look like I'm trying to strengthen my wrists when actually I'm stimming a lot to keep myself together.

-I have meltdowns and shutdowns. Shutdowns look like I'm distracted. Meltdowns usually occur when I'm at home because I'll get away from people as soon as I get a little overloaded or a little overwhelmed. I'm obsessive over not hurting people.

-There are solid issues with my relationship because of my autism. I don't have anyone I consider friends outside of my boyfriend. The fact that I have a relationship makes people think I can't be socially disabled.

-I have special interests. I don't monologue about them. I'm the 'passive' sort of autism, not the 'active but odd'. This means I don't fit either the 'aloof' or the 'active but odd' stereotypes, because I'm a less common subtype.

-I need to know what's going on and have huge difficulties if I'm dealing with things that don't match what I expect or when I don't know what to predict. When I'm having issues with this I tend to go only partially verbal. The fact that I've managed to control what's going on to an acceptable degree most of the time because most people who are around me are understanding makes people tend to not notice this. I also tend to do this by turning to my boyfriend, via typing and have him fix things for me.

-I'm very pendantic. People tend to consider this part of me being a mathematician.

-I am very detail oriented. I rely on others to help me do self care things because of this. I rely on others and it looks like they're just doing things because they want to.

-I have difficulties making decisions about things as simple as what I'm eating. If most of this is occurring in text instead of verbally, nobody will notice except whoever I'm typing to (i.e. my boyfriend).

-I have severe sensory issues. I put an absolutely huge amount into avoiding my triggers, to dealing with everything constantly, and to trying to function. Just dealing with the sensory aspect of the world has me nonfunctional currently and causes daily meltdowns. Much of my life is avoiding migraines. My sensory issues are to the point where people tend to tell me that they're impressed I will go out in public at all with them. I put everything I can into this. I have large amounts of things I carry with me for sensory reasons. I don't always use them because I only use them if I need them. If I do need them, then people are more likely to treat me like I actually have problems, but usually even then they don't understand sensory problems so don't believe I actually have any issues. However, I literally spend a majority of my time in public just dealing with my sensory issues. I have others watching out for me as well. The fact that I put so much into dealing with my sensory issues actually makes people discredit my problems, and not believe they occur, because sensory issues are actually not very visible, even in severe cases.

-I'm clumsy. People get actually impressed when they hear about things I've done in terms of being clumsy. Because I go out of my way to not do things that will hurt myself, this tends to not be very visible (even though I'll do things like drop a knife slicing my finger open if I try to do dishes).

Using Gillberg's Criteria for Asperger's (http://www.bbbautism.com/asp_gillberg.htm) I meet everything other than 2c and 4a. Of these a majority cause significant impairments. I'm currently unable to work and might remain unable to work. I feel unable to live on my own because things like cooking and (parts of) cleaning are things I have difficulty with (at the level of someone who is disabled). I cannot drive, I will never drive because it will never be safe. I will be working on applying for SSI this summer and every person who's tried to help me find a job thinks I absolutely should be on that, even the ones who try to convince most people they get to work with who are on SSI/SSDI already that they shouldn't be as they're employable with the proper help (and then they give them the help and get them employed).

Yet, people don't look at me and think I'm autistic. People don't look at me and think I'm disabled. I'm passive and look just passive and submissive.

It's very easy for people who are passive to pass, even when we'd rather not.

Firstly, I never said that personality disorders are caused by the persons behavior. Psychological constructs are not necessary real entities. Psychologists observe a psychological phenomena and give it a label so I don't know how a person's behavior be a result of a label. Also that is a circular aguement -why does that person behave that way because he/she has a personality disorder, why does that person have a personality disorder because he/she behaves that way. You may also want to research Reification of psychological constructs.

Also there is no evidence that that brain chemicals are what CAUSES depression. We know that they are linked - but there is no evidence that it causes depression.

I don't mean to generalize. It's like separation anxiety and bed wetting. Separation anxiety and bed wetting can occur in adults but it is predominate in children.

It's well established that Asperger's Syndrome can be an impairing, disabling disorder for many of the people who have that diagnosis, as adults. Outcome studies find little difference in life outcomes between people diagnosed with PDD-NOS, Asperger's Syndrome, and autism. I mean, there are differences in day to day functioning, but your diagnosis is not a strong predictor in terms of whether you can be employed or not, whether you can live independently or not.



Because of your personal observations? AS is observable in adults - the paperwork on my diagnosis has approximately a half-page of observations of clearly autistic behavior on my part, and that was after spending ~75 minutes in same room with this person. If AS were typically indistinguishable from NT, I somehow doubt that so many traits and behaviors could have been identified so easily.

Also, developmental disorders do not mean that the person who has it will always be exactly the same as an adult as they were as a child. It simply means that they have a different developmental trajectory than an NT. Not being exactly as they were at 10 years old doesn't mean they outgrew the disorder, just that they changed as they grew up. This may not be true for everyone, but it is true for some. One of the hurdles I faced with acquaintances in bringing up the possibility that I had AS (before diagnosis) was the urge to compare me to some young boy (10 years old was a favorite age for some reason) they had met who had AS and how he wasn't like me. But I'm 42 years old, and I've had time to learn things like "extended monologues at people about my favorite subject are not how most people interact," so I sort of hold them in check. I learned that when I was 27, by the way.

You included personality disorders in...external disorders which you said are brought on by externalities most often as a result their behavior. I do not think that is quite accurate so yes I am questioning it.

Also if those where commonly used terms in psychology I should have heard of them in psychology 101, or maybe 102 but certainly Abnormal Psychology, hence why I'm questioning those terms. And no behavior does not cause personality disorders, it is typically the other way around.....a personality disorder can bring great distress to the person who has it, its not typically something they brought on them self.

Also there actually is evidence lack of certain chemicals contributes to depression, there are also other factors...but that is actually one of them and they do have evidence.

Melanieeee, I have to say that considering most people using this forum are not children and that most people on this forum either have a diagnosis of ASD or think they should have, you're being pretty offensive and insensitive to their daily struggles in arguing that it's a childhood condition. (Not to mention 20 years out of date)

Right and most recent research shows most autistic/aspie children do not become non-autistic upon reaching adulthood, nor do they typically disappear off the face of the earth....so how would it be predominate in children?

Okay fair enough, I dont think I expressed myself properly there. Externalising disorders are external in the sense that it is their behaviors that is the source of their dysfunction but yeah I'm not sure if it is commonly use but feel free to look it up.

Also there is no evidence that depression is a cause of a chemical imbalance - we just know that they are linked.

Do you mean studies have shown that all aspies still meet criteria (if they have been diagnosed as a child) into adulthood. I would like to see these studies.

But that was not what I was not the context I used that statement anyway or at least intended. It was suppose to be in response to my observations that aspies behave normally.

I never used the word cause...I said chemical imbalance can 'contribute' to depression, they do have studies that show that...but that makes it a factor not the cause.

No, I mean many of us still have symptoms......and many who might not appear to are just working very hard to conceal it, but when it comes down to it aspergers/autism has to do with different brain wiring we're born with, so it would make sense most children who are autistic or aspie are still going to be as adults.

the word contribution implies a level of causality

You mean neurological differences. Neurons change as we develop from child to adult. Also AS is not defined by brain differences, it is defined by behaviors. If you are able to concel, it is not considered clinically significant. It's like what Tony Attwood said in his book: if you leave the child by him/her self they do not have an observable clinical social impairment, it is only when you put the child in a room with others.

Yes it does, but saying chemical imbalance can contribute to depression is not the same as saying it's what 'causes' depression, it is just one factor there are others to.

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 21 Apr 2012, 10:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

I would say that the statement in question is wrong. I mean, it is true that if you take someone with social impairments out of social situations, their impairments aren't relevant, but they aren't gone. Why would anyone want to observe social impairment in a solitary person in the first place?

Anyway, the diagnostic criteria for PDD-NOS, autism, and AS are all written for children, which means that it is somewhat problematic applying them directly to adults. This is one reason why adult diagnosis often involves getting as complete a childhood history as possible.

Ideally, there should be criteria for adults or the existing criteria should account for adults.

Yes and since people on the spectrum have neurological differences that separate them from neurotypicals, it would make sense that though neurons change through development ours will probably develop differently than an neurotypicals. Also neurological difference from my understanding implies brain difference. And where are you getting that autism is defined by behaviors alone?

Also I don't think it's up to you if it's clinically significant, that is up to the psychiatrist/mental health professional doing the diagnosing. Also no crap leaving a child by their self they wont have observable social impairment, that's because social interaction takes two individuals not a lone one.