Self diagnosed aspergers

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Whoever gave you that assesment clearly does not deserve their degree.....'people with aspergers have no idea other people have feelings' that is about stupid. Also not everyone with AS likes math or science.

Anyways I am self diagnosed for the most part....but last therapist I had agreed I probably have AS, my sister and mom think I for sure do and someone I know who's mom has Aspergers and she says its obvious I do as well. I am in the process of trying to get that as well as some other psychological disorders I have diagnosed I have an appointment at the end of the month.

No official diagnosis here. Two reasons:

The medical establishment is always biased towards any diagnosis that leads to prescribing more drugs. This is why those of us who are old enough to have never been diagnosed are sort of lucky - making up for being diagnosed with every damned thing else - because we didn't get doped up.


It's only a matter of time before someone with Aspergers goes and shoots up a school or something and the scared NT sheeple go bleating for "something to be done" and given how far the ideals of individual rights and treatments have fallen, it's better not to be on that list.

The notion that we don't have empathy or feelings is also dangerous. It's really the opposite, we just don't connect with the signals very well but the raw emotion leaves its mark.

I self-diagnosed after a family member was dx'ed. My first reaction was that Aspergers would explain other family members... then my mom... then me. So it eas kind of an accident, but boy does it rxplain a lot...

A good friend of mine has a son who is AS. When I first learned of it, I did a little reading about it and had a little suspicion that it sounded like me, but didn't think anymore about it.

Then just recently an online friend started posting things on FB re: ASD in reference to her son, also AS. I decided to go read up on it again. I was either more self-aware this time or found a better site, because it NAILED me. Every weird thing I've ever done, my "lone wolf" mentality, my problems with socializing and inability to hold on to a job, my literal way of thinking, my discomfort at being pawed on, my absurd clumsiness -- it all could be explained by AS. I can't be accused of jumping on the AS bandwagon, because I didn't even know there WAS an AS bandwagon. My decision was based on my own experiences and research, not because I saw something on the new or read it in the paper. As soon as I mentioned it to my mother, she said "I've been saying all along there was something wrong with you. I've thought it for years and years. Now it sounds like you've found it." She said I did the "toe-walk" as a child, and I had the "little professor" personality.

Even with all of that -- and so much more -- I'm not completely convinced though. There are a couple of things that don't fit, which just may be because I'm might be more high functioning. I don't speak in monotone, unless I'm feeling anxious or in an uncomfortable situation. I have an somewhat expressive face. I get and tell jokes successfully. I have been able to live alone and take care of myself. So I'm not fully ready to self-diagnose, but I'm pretty sure.

I haven't gotten a official diagnosis because 1) I just learned about all this about a month ago, 2) I can't afford it, 3) I don't know whether it's necessary. What my research has shown me is that there is a reason I'm the way I am. I can use that information to recognize behaviors and possibly modify it when necessary. But I don't feel any different by knowing all this, and I don't know that a doctor's diagnosis would give me any more insight that I already have. And -- with the exception of having almost no social life -- I don't see this as a "disability" but rather just a different way of looking at things.

No official diagnosis here either. However, it would be a logical explanation for the difficulties I have experienced all my life. Basically, people see me as (and I quote) "an as*hole" because of my communication style. I tend to be pedantic, think mostly in black and white terms, I data dump, and I do not tailor my vocabulary to fit the intended audience while speaking. I am also obsessive and have special interests and am extremely emotionally sensitive. I have a lifelong history of depression and anxiety issues, and dress like an aspie. Well, at least I dress like the consensus of what aspies here seem to dress like with an aversion to clothing not made of cotton and a need for everything to be plain and loose fitting (tee shirts and shorts). I am 38 and have been on less than 5 dates in my life-all of them first dates. I also have attention deficit issues. There's more to it, but that's the synopsis.

Now as to why I have not been professionally assessed for autism, well I just don't see how it would help me. The only thing that would change is that my wallet would be $1,000-2,000 lighter and I would have an answer. Would it be the right answer? Who knows? For all I know they could miss something and be wrong about me in either direction. As it is, I see myself as being on the borderline between autistic and neurotypical, so a diagnosis could go either way. Most of the online tests I take seem to put me there as well so I think it's an accurate assessment. Besides, I have nothing to gain from it as I am self-supporting and do not need government assistance. I just wish I could find love and nothing I could gain from a diagnosis would make that possible.

I've always suspected that I might be autistic. I remember thinking it as a teenager, but knew that all teenagers go through awkward stages, and suspected I'd probably just had an awkward start to life. I expected to grow out of it, which in some respects I have done (some things have got easier, anyway). I didn't think that having a label on it would help in any way.

Then I started working with children with autism and realised that lots of things I hadn't even considered "weird" or out of the ordinary were autistic traits. I'd assumed everyone thought like me. I didn't realise other people don't get strong urges to run around and scream for a bit or flap their hands. I never did this stuff in front of people because I knew it wasn't "acceptable". I started implementing strategies we use at work to manage anxiety, on myself, and found they really helped. I began to notice why I got anxious in certain situations and looked at what I could do to lower the anxiety. I looked into autism more and it was like a description of me.

My partner has commented from quite early on in our relationship that he thinks I'm aspie. Looking back, most of the problems we've had in our relationship have stemmed from me being unable to tell him how I'm feeling because I have no idea myself. So eventually he just said to me "Contact the National Autistic Society and see how you get a diagnosis." So I've just seen my GP and am awaiting a referral to be assessed.

I feel like now a diagnosis would really help me. It would give me some validity to how I'm feeling and allow me to access help.

I self diagnosed because I felt sure enough in my own judgement...I have begun the official diagnostic process already, (as included below in my signature). I have still kept my status as "Has Asperger's - Self-diagnosed, as I have been reassured by the person that first assessed me for and ASD that it's "quite likely" that I do have AS.

After spending another Saturday at the library I'm now 100% sure and am pursuing an official diagnosis just for formalities so I can tell others if necessary. However, given my experiences with Doctors he will spend 30 seconds with me before announcing that I do not have it and refuse to refer me. He will likely point to the fact that I have a full time job and make "face" contact as proof even though out of 250 co-workers I have the single most isolated and introvert friendly job.

Given some of the outrageous things I've heard some Doctors say, it's not going to change things one bit. I know beyond any doubt I have it and everyone at work with experience in Autism has been trying to gently inform me for years. I always laugh when Doctors, Scientists etc love to remind us we aren't qualified to make these decision because we don't have formal training yet they missed it for almost 30 years with me. Like I've said as a kid I could not have been more Aspie if I tried as I fit the symptoms right down to the hand flapping.

I haven't exactly self-diagnosed. I have a formal diagnosis of social anxiety disorder and major depression, and one of my best friends is a special ed teacher (who focuses on autism) and after she spent a few weeks staying with me in my apartment she mentioned that she suspected I might be on the spectrum. I remember her bringing it up while I was rocking back and forth in front of an air conditioning vent (when I'm hot or cold I will quite often rock side to side to distribute cold air or warm warm evenly over my body.) I've carried some kind of self-stim toy in my pocket for years, and I tend to rock a lot (I feel this like, pulse or throb that I go in time with - one explanation is that it's a psychic energy pulse involved in astral something or other. ymmv with that one, haha) but I've hidden the rocking habit (outside of extreme temperatures, dunno why I thought that made it socially acceptable) because I was embarrassed by it before I realized there was a reason for it.

I have strong interests (religion and cultural history, to a lesser extent natural science and computers), pretty sure I have tic disorder, trouble with eye contact, etc.

I'm in the process of getting a formal diagnosis right now. I talked to a psych nurse at my school (her reaction was "wouldn't your psychiatrist have caught that?" ...it took him 8 years to tell me I had social anxiety disorder and that was the underlying cause of my depression, so yeah they can miss some pretty major things...especially since I only talk about the things that bother me. rocking, being pedantic, and so on aren't problems I brought up to be treated, they're just major diagnostic criteria haha) and I'm looking for a specialist of some kind. everything about this diagnosis would make sense, it would explain perfectly why I've done great with some jobs and kept them for years and had complete breakdowns within days of starting others, why I'm so good at school and so bad at dating and social interaction, hell, why I love the idea of role playing games with numbers assigned to personality traits but get really nervous and confused about actually roleplaying...haha.

I want an official diagnosis because I'm good enough at talking to people that they don't realize the amount of energy it takes for me to appear NT, that it's a relatively big deal for me to interact casually with people and that a lot of the time I don't have any energy left. I don't want it to be ambiguous as to whether or not I really "have it" just because I've learned enough to "pass" but not remain stable for any length of time. beyond that, I'm hoping maybe to get retroactively medically withdrawn from some classes I failed last year because I wasn't functioning well at all, and frankly getting SSI and/or food stamps would be completely life changing for me. it's already taken me 7 years to become a senior in college, and will take another 2 or 3 to get a degree in something I can actually function in (computing - I have a lot of credit hours in fields that involve too much social interaction for me to remain stable), and I anticipate doing pretty well (and paying LOTS of income tax) once I get that done and have enough wiggle room to find a livable environment, but a little help getting there could make all the difference in the world.

I saw a documentary on TV about ten years ago.
It was about three disabled young women.
One of them was AS; I had never heard of it until then.

As they explained her symptoms and problems I kept saying to myself "I'm like that" and "Yes, I do that".
I have never seen anybody professionally and probably never will; unless they find a cure. lol

Well, I'm self-diagnosed too - but this is mainly due to lack of qualified specialist in Russia. As one aspie from russian community said: "There are no autism and AS in Russia" - this means that there are hardly to get a proper diagnose here, especially in mature age. This may be possible to expressed from of AS but not for milder forms.

I had a 5 neurological diagnoses in the early childhood and my parents always called me "weird" so the AS may be one of possible description of my present state. Also when I saw the "Adam" movie I saw a lot in common with the main hero.

I guess I consider myself "self diagnosed", but I would still feel uncomfortable to say to someone that I DO have aspergers.

Someone asked me if I has AS, because she saw several aspie traits in me. I asked another friend about it and she wasn't surprised. She had suspected it for years.
The thing that went the farthest to convince me that I was on the spectrum was reading peoples posts here and being able to relate so much to everyone's experiences.

I do want to get an official Dx for my own peace of mind and to work out some of my issues, but the idea of being in a strangers office and having to talk to them one on one really freaks me out
I think I'll have to end up having one of my friends go with me just so I don't freak out and end up not going.

For me, Asperger's was something that I didn't really know much of anything about growing up. I never had known or encountered anybody with it. I knew that it was a form of autism, and it related to people who have higher IQ's than people with "classic" autism, but that was about the extent of my knowledge.

It was only when, by chance, I encountered it during a school assignment back in early 2011 that I began to learn more about it. We had to choose one of five assigned books to read and do a report on. One of those was John Robison's Look me in the Eye. I didn't choose it because it was about Asperger's. About half the class, including me, chose that book for the same sole reason - it happened to be on sale at Chapter's at the time (large bookstore chain).

As I began to read, I began to wonder. There were a ton of things in the book that I could easily relate to - tons of things written that I could have written myself because of how easily I could relate. At that point, it wasn't a self-diagnosis, more of a "I wonder..." period. However, I began to read up on Asperger's wherever I could, and the more I read, the more it made sense (this site was a big factor in that - I began reading it last year and was shocked at how much of the stuff on here made sense to me). By June 2011, I was pretty well certain of it.

So, why haven't I gotten an official diagnosis? The only reason is because I'm afraid to reveal my feelings to anyone. I've always been averse to talking about myself, and I simply haven't worked up the nerve to tell anyone, even though there are several I would like to inform about it. I don't know how to start the conversation, and I'm afraid of how people might react.

I only even started looking at this a couple of months ago when someone on TV was mentioning symptoms of HFA and pretty much came up with a laundry list of my wife's issues (she can't socialise at all.. has basically zero coping strategies and is quite embarrassing to be around in public.. something I found pretty hard to cope with).

Then I started reading about aspergers and suddenly realized I was on the spectrum too - reading peoples experiences was a mirror of me growing up - I'd just learned enough rules that I can appear normal a lot of the time (it also helps that, working in IT, geeks are supposed to be a bit reclusive).

Prior to this I'd never realized that socialising wasn't something to be learned.. I thought I was just crap at learning it.

OTOH it explains why I get on with my wife so well.. we communicate in the same way, not relying on nonverbal cues which neither of us can read.

I'm not interested in a diagnosis - firstly because going to a doctor and trying to convince them that there's anything wrong probably won't work unless they've seen it before (maybe I'd get lucky, maybe I wouldn't), and secondly because I just don't want it on my record. No way I want to end up being treated differently next time I'm in hospital for something.. it's not like a broken leg, there's nothing to treat.. it's just who I am.

Equally I don't really care whether either of us really have it in the medical sense - the symptoms fit uncannily accurately - and so so the solutions/workarounds, and that's all that matters to us.

I am self-diagnosed. I never thought the weird things I did when I was little, like walking on tiptoes and imitating ambient sounds and staring at things for a long time was part of a medical diagnosis or that other kids did things like that too. I thought I was the only one.

On the other hand, I thought all little kids felt like the water tickled too much when they got their hair washed and that toothpaste burned their tongues like acid too, but that their mommies must be meaner than mine was.

I thought kids whose writing was neat must practice for hours every day instead of playing. I thought everybody liked cats as much as I did and wanted to go to Narnia. I didn't understand why nobody wore ballet costumes or policeman uniforms or superman suits to school. Regular clothes were boring and uncomfortable. Buttons and zippers were incredibly intricate devices. I didn't understand how my playing by myself could be offensive to the other girls. I wasn't doing anything to them, but they picked on me anyway.

I was diagnosed with ADD and given ritalin but I had trouble taking it because I had to try to use the water fountain and the pill kept falling out of my mouth and going down the drain.

I thought I was just lazy and weird. I thought it was character flaws.

(I better skip ahead. It's almost time to clock out)

I had heard of autism but I thought it was something that happened to boys that rendered them non-verbal and self-injurious. It was sad, but it wasn't me. Then I read an article in 2005 or 2006 entitled "What Are (Autistic) Little Girls Made Of" in the Sunday New York Times Magazine, and when I put it down, I burst into tears. It described my childhood perfectly.

I am an American, and in late 2005 I came down with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma (Stage 4). I went through CHOP chemo and then 8 courses of Rituxumb. A couple years later I was sitting by myself and I had an anxiety attack. I'd never had anything like that before, so naturally I Googled it. Then I ended up reading through the DSM IV. I thought I probably had PTSD after going through cancer... pretty much with no one to talk to about being scared out of my mind for a couple of years. I live by myself for many decades. Anyway, I started to take a few online personality tests as part of my new interest, and the tests eventually led me to "You are probably an Aspie." Later I came here to WP, and got convinced. I am 70 now, and have no interest in getting a professional's opinion. I don't trust 99% of the helping professionals, and there is nothing they could help me with anyway.