Would You Prefer To Date an Aspie or an NT?

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I've rarely attracted, & consequently gotten involved with, women who were not "outside the norm." 1st wife, bi-polar; long-term live-in girlfriend, schizophrenic; 2nd wife on spectrum. Mixed bag of experiences there. But whenever I meet "someone [normal] my age I should give a try," there's this sense of vacuum on both sides. I'm in my fifties, not much will change & that's fine enough. If there's ever some woman considering me, of course, I wonder "what's her problem?" And how much more of a problem would knowing me make of it? Wow what a life.

In my one lasting relationship the girl happened to have some condition, but I really don't know for sure what. She's gone undiagnosed for her whole life. I guess if she had been diagnosed earlier in her life she would have been already on someone else's side by the time I met her. My closest guesses on her condition are borderline pd, paranoid pd, schizotypal pd, PTSD, dependent pd, narcissistic pd. I wouldn't be surprised if she was on the spectrum.

So, I voted for Aspies, but she must be good-hearted, tolerant, have a bit of common-sense, and able to get a handle on a wide variety of difficulties that would arise in great numbers without doubt.

It depends, quite frankly on how severe an Aspie he is (I know, booooo!! !). I've only dated NT's and had the relationships all fail because of basic incompatibility (I'm a couch potato, he's a jock, he likes to go out, I'm a hermit...you get the idea) Part of me is intrigued by a fellow Aspie partner particularly if we shared special interests, but part of me is also frightened there would be emotional connection problems.
(The only thing worse than being alone is wishing that you were alone!)

Very hard to say. I voted "Aspie", because her personality would have to match mine very well and I think there's a much better chance of that if she's on the spectrum, but who knows how that would work in practice. I can imagine getting along well with an Aspie, but I can also imagine a lot of awkwardness with neither one of us knowing what to say or do.

Oh, as regards to my previous post, It's not because I'm prejudiced against people far along the spectrum. I think I would be considered pretty far along on the Aspie scale, but any one farther along with I'd find cold and strange, and any one a lot less farther along than I was would find me cold and strange. It's a Goldilocks thing.

(The only thing worse than being alone is wishing that you were alone!)[/quote]

That is SO true!

Ive only dated NTs because I havent come across any aspies but long term relationshipwise I would prefer an aspie. I tend to get overly affectionate a bit clingy and attached and wouldnt mind someone who is similar. Also another aspie wouldnt think of me as weird immature and maybe beable to understand me more.

AS all the way. I've spend years trying to learn how NT girls tick.

But out of all my previous relationships my record was 4 weeks. My current is with an AS girl running on almost five years ... and I would eat a bullet for her

I personally think all the other ones broke because I did something they couldn't relate too. Their loss.

I think with the experience I've gotten from my current relationship. I'd probably be able to maintain a serious relationship with an NT girl, but IMHO I'd have to work seriously towards that goal. And no NT girl would ever be able to offer that much advantage towards looks, for several reasons ...

• Let's face it ... with an NT girl it's about looks because they surely don't have the intelligence needed. I've never met an NT girl who could challenge me ... not even close
• and besides my AS GF is already more beautiful than most.
• My Fiancee calls me Wikipedia (I honestly can't tell you how well that makes me feel), I have photographic memory ... and she appreciates it in her own way. But with any NT girl I'd just be called a Smart-ass, but I do hate it when she shortens it to Wiki (I'm a male) .

I would like to verify a hypothesis THAT i have......

TheSunAlsoRises

I would vote NT simply because the only reason I would want a partner is to have children.
I do not like to be too close to anyone but I would like a child as normal as possible, since autism is genetic I have more chance this way of having an NT child who would nnot have the difficulties I face everyday. This may be selfish of me but if the other person is open minded they do not need to fully understand.

It doesn't matter to me as long as he is willing to accept me for who I am and is able to accept my baggage.