Hard to hear what people are saying over loud music

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I have this problem, too. Any loud sounds in the background and I can't make out what anyone is saying to me. It's really annoying, even though I know now that it's an auditory processing issue due to my AS.

As for my being around a lot of loud music (being a DJ for 30 years), that hasn't really affected my hearing very much. One of the main reasons why music is played so loud at clubs is to get the people dancing. It really isn't meant to prevent people from talking... but the club / band / DJ want people to dance. If the music is too soft, people will sit and talk, instead of dancing.

Hehe, I remember a friend came over to me with two girls at a club, and the right thing to do then, as his wingman, is to take the one he didn't aim for off his hands, so he can hit on his girl alone. Well, I tried speaking with her, but after I said "I'm sorry, I can't hear you" 4-5 times, she lost interest and went away. I wonder if she could hear me...

A fan on in a room is all it takes to make it hard for me to hear what's being said. Too much noise! And I know my hearing is good, because I can hear the electric whine of fluorescent lights, the background garble on Netflix Instant Watch movies, the Wilhelm scream, and the screen on some smart phones. And bat chatter.

Revisiting this topic as I somehow got invited to share a pitcher of beer at a small bar down the street. In this case I went in with the notion I have this hearing issue but I'll see how it goes. It was about as I expected it would be. Someone across the table tried to ask me some questions and I couldn't understand them.

Also, behind the bar was a big flat screen TV and sports fan chatter. Then a musician with a guitar and harmonica showed up. At that point I just started excusing myself.

The next time I see a few of these people I may just explain that I have a helluva time trying to follow to many conversations.

Every time I revisit this subject it is still a revelation to me people can wade through all this chatter.

I have a hard time hearing one voice when there are other voices or noises present, even a TV or radio, etc. It's not that I can't actually hear the voice, it's that I can't understand what it's saying. I hear it talking, but I don't know what about. I always have to press mute or turn off whatever it is that's distracting me in order to make any sense out of what the person is saying. I'm not sure if it's a sensory processing issue or if I have slight hearing problems.

When I used to go over a friends house sometimes she would have the music so loud that when she left the room I would sneak over to the stereo and lower it a little so I could actually talk with her.

I cannot hear people properly when I'm talking to them next to a busy road, or in a lecture hall before a lecture. So I choose to stay quiet in hope that they won't carry on talking.

I think it's all science.

They make you talk loud, their fore you have to buy more drinks to sooth your throat. More money for the club.

They make you talk loud, their fore you have to get closer to the people. Closeness fosters intimacy. Your more likely to come back to a club where you meet cute people. More money for the club.

But it's also not a place your meant to have deep personal conversations.

I had this problem on Sunday around my sister's boyfriend mothers house and they played music in both rooms TV was on and simply too many people in the house which was small and too much clutter and found it very difficult to have a conversation.

I have problems comprehending what is being said if there is busy noise like music from the radio playing in the background. I follow a couple of words and then it sort of becomes overwhelming like I am trying to juggle wile riding a unicycle. I can find if quite stressful but my long-suffering other half now knows to turn the radio off if it's anything important or complex. I have similar issues in clubs and sometimes pubs. I will have to work hard to follow the conversation especially if it is loud and busy and there are a group of us. Actually, in that case I would probably just try to look like I was following things and zone out.

Visual sensory overload is probably something I have a lot more difficulty with. If we go to a restaurant i will automatically try and find a seat that is not facing a big busy group of people. Places like mcdonalds are often a nightmare and I just want to eat quickly as possible and get out of there when they are full. If I am cooking anything I have to make sure that the kitchen is completely tidy and all surfaces clear etc or else I will end up having a meltdown over something minor. My wife now panics when I say I am going to cook!

The loud music is done for a reason. It's so you have to shout to be heard, and that makes you thirsty, and that sells more drinks.

So it's as much as an issue of not making any sense as it is a sensory issue.

But unnecessary noise is what being NT is all about.


There are better places to be. When I think of someone with AS and bars/clubs, I wonder why this effort towards the bottom. These places are overrated.

I'm definitely more sensitive to loud noise than normal. I actually like my music fairly loud, but still below what they play at some bars and parties! I do think my overall hearing is 5-10 dB more sensitive than normal, and I'd like to keep it that way rather than permanently damage my hearing by "acclimatizing" myself to such music!! I'll be glad I did when I'm 60 or 70 as others that age start needing hearing aids!

I do have problems hearing people over music that loud, too! I do agree that it can be an excuse for people to get physically closer to one another so they can flirt and try to get into each others' pants, and so forth. Which is N-O-T my style!! I think if I ever go to one of those places, I should just wear earplugs (to reduce the über-loud music to something manageable), have a few drinks, dance and not really worry about conversation! Most people will be too busy trying to talk over the music to judge me, and at worst I'll come across as drunk, which is to be expected at such a place...

I'm OK at reading tone of voice, but still very bad at body language.

I can't do this for sh*t. Noticed it again when I forced myself to go to a nightclub with some friends (and some strangers, who I didn't really talk to for the entire night...) a few weeks ago. It was a lot of yelling and "WHAAAT?". So exhausting.

I get this when I go to the pub. If we sit at a booth and my friend opposite is talking I really struggle to hear while others manage it easily. Something to do with the music and the other conversations going on at the same time is distracting.

I work in this kind of environment. It is a nightmare. I have to ask people to repeat themselves constantly, and this does not come across well! Add to that someone with an accent, and I can't understand a single syllable! My job is sooooo AS-unfriendly

People don't seem to understand it either. They won't accommodate you to make it easier, they just repeat the same thing in the same way. I speak to their ear, and listen with my ear near their mouth or it is a disaster. That, on top of my other Aspie social issues, and it is a bit of a washout lol

I have the same problem. I grew up with it but only had my hearing tested a few years ago. My test for deafness tested normal but they said it was "auditory processing disorder". Basically, I can't hear distance or direction, can't hear with a lot of background noise (i even have trouble a regular restaurants if it's crowded), can't keep track of or decipher more than one conversation. (this one still confuses me as to how others can do it.). Sometimes words get mixed up and it sounds like the person said something else entirely. Sometimes speech sounds mumbled or like listening to the adults on peanuts. I can hear you talk but can't decipher what you're saying. It gets worse if I'm tired or stressed or having a sensory overload.

Stranger still I can hear ANYTHING if there is no background noise.

I think it is a sensory processing problem. Though the diagnosis appears to be a bit controversial, like some doctor's don't believe it's a real condition. Though I do because I know how I hear.

This is the best book I've found on it. It goes thru many different patient examples.
http://www.amazon.com/When-Brain-Cant-H ... n%27t+hear