Joe, good on you for not kicking your friend. That response would be way out of line.
If anything like this happens again, say at the earliest opportunity, "What was that about?" The friend's nonverbal (plus verbal) behavior is hard to interpret here.
You could say it now, but the incident might be so far out of your friend's memory that she would feel you are making a mountain out of a molehill. It's always best to address these things in the moment, though that's not always possible.
For me, I am much more likely to be patronized because of a physical disability because others can't see my mental one. I do get patronized for it. I usually strongly and assertively tell the person "No, thank you," or "Please don't hold the door," or "I've got this, thank you anyway." Occasionally someone will not honor my stated feelings, in which case I say directly to them, a bit crossly, "Don't patronize me." I also sometimes get patronizing treatment because of my age, which is very apparent (I don't dye my gray hair, etc.). The practice I have gained in responding to these incidents has helped me deal with patronizing that is related to my autism.
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A finger in every pie.
02 May 2018, 9:09 am
