Do people reject or downplay your diagnosis?

Post Reply New Topic

I prefer people around me to know. I can be really awkward and really dense, and I want them to know that I really AM awkward and dense--not willfully offensive. Plus, I tend to stim the second I stop thinking about not doing so, and I'll go off on lectures, interrupt people, generally seem like either an absent-minded professor or else a few crayons short of a box... I would prefer people to know why. I'd rather be known as "that autistic chick" than be thought of as a rude, hateful person or annoying brat. Plus, if I tell them, I can follow it with, "So if I do anything annoying, just tell me to stop, because I probably have no idea I'm annoying anybody."

I guess some people tend to downplay my diagnosis because I can make some eye contact and hold conversations. They don't know that this eye contact is fleeting at best, and my conversations never go beyond a few minutes of small talk because anything more is too overwhelming. In class I can make conversation, but I need to turn away into myself after a few minutes to "recharge".

But people have misconceptions about AS, so it doesn't surprise me, especially when one's case is mild.

This.

Downplayed, yes. Especially by my family. When I brought up the subject of autism (I don't bother any more), they would quickly change the subject as though speaking about autism made them uncomfortable.

It would have been nice to have had some questions to answer about the subject, but never mind.

My Human Resources Manager has been downright nasty at work.
She volunteered before with a child with Asperger's and compares me to him, I think. Well everyone's different. She once had the nerve to hijack a private meeting (there are supposed to be two management people in the room) and she caught me one-on-one before the second person came and was telling me everything I do wrong, if I was anyone else I would be fired for my behavior... the other person came and she was fine.

Not an Aspie but l know what you mean.

l actually see people try to diagnose other people all over the internet. There is someone l talk to online from a different site who displays a s**t ton of Aspie traits. lt's pretty obvious to other people. She's not diagnosed and l don't even think she's considered that she's might have AS but when criticizing her NTs will use stock phrases associated with the traits of AS. Saying she must lack empathy or "simply cannot see anything from another person's point of view."

And l actually see that same thing, randomly, in a lot of different situations. Once people have a set of symptoms in their head they are eager to apply it to someone.

l've gotten similar remarks. People will try to use it to their advantage. Because l don't have a diagnosis l am easily able to retort with a clever witticism and even get a little nasty with people when they come down on me with the armchair psychiatry tactics.

The quick wit is really what has always saved me in these situations because l have an easy time making people look foolish. lf l actually were diagnosed with AS, they might not even believe because wit and sarcasm are not commonly associated with it (but l've seen plenty of it here). In any case, l would still keep my diagnosis under wraps so l would have more freedom with my own behavior.

Bluh, definitely when I was first diagnosed.

It seemed quite a few of my friends were very skeptic and in turn they down-played it a lot.

One of my very best friends was saying that he didn't think I had it because his brother has it much worse than I do.

I hate it when that happens.

Your friends should be supporting you right now. Even if your diagnosis does make them uncomfortable, they could at least try to hide it by asking you questions about it. Writing a long letter can really help. It shows people that you're really serious about what you're saying.

Good luck

I would say downplay or ignore it. I don't often talk about it offline though.

My friends though, at least when I am under distress they will console me. I suppose some members of my family will too.
Things have certainly improved from what they were a couple of years ago.

Professionals who don't know ASDs well downplay it. People with mental illnesses who I know IRL downplay it. People who I get along with well who I know in person tend to not. People who I only know online tend to not believe me when I'm describing what I go through in my daily life.

I still find being very open about my ASD best though - I don't actually conceal it at all. The most common piece of jewelry for me to wear is a puzzle piece necklace.

This.
I have met someone who faked it. She actually partially convinced herself too. It wasn't a little wake up one day and decide she wants to pretend to be on the autistic spectrum thing. She was in so much mental pain that faking was her method of coping. She needed a reason for being how she was that wasn't her how she was treated growing up, AS was the lifelong thing she turned to because she'd developed some of the symptoms and had already been introverted.

In her case after a few years of therapy for her depression and anxiety she was able to realize what had been done, but the amount of pain it took to start that, and to continue it for at least 6 months, was huge.