Are you embarrassed by some of your AS symptoms?

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social interaction only embarrasses me sometimes. if i can make my awkwardness look natural( sounds weird) then no but if it is obvious to everybody then just a little. everything else i'm ok with. i dont meltdown in front of people. if i feel one coming on then i extract myself from the situation and go to the toilet. i dont tell people i am autistic as a rule(if they ask me straight out then my rule is not to lie about it) i think but i dont know how i feel about discussing the symptoms. when i dont have a clear policy on something i tend to blurt out the truth so i tell people that i stim and i tell people i feel overstimulated in certain circumstances. there is only one person i would feel comfortable linking those things to autism with because he is the only person that knows that hasnt responded with something ableist. the only rule i have with telling people stuff is never tell my family anything- they will vilify me for it.

One of the most frustrating aspects about this disorder is that we're put in limbo- that is to say, although we may appear high-functioning in many ways, when we act strange it can appear especially strange. Or, very often, we don't appear to have a significant disability- we're just "weird". I'm fairly open about my Asperger's, but I'm very critical of how I come off to others. And I cannot STAND to hear or see myself on film.

I am very embarrassed about my faceblindness.

Usually I am alright, but sometimes I look straight into the face of someone I care about and I just don't see them. All I can do is worry about how I must hurt their feelings, once I figure out who they are that is (which is usually hours after I walk away). Then I get caught up worrying about how many people go unnoticed altogether. People I know call me cold. That much I know for sure.

Then sometimes I go up to people I don't know and start talking to them because I think they're someone else I know.

I do at least one of these things about twice a week.

I'm not comfortable telling people I have face blindness because I am a relatively mild case, and because I don't think most people would believe me, or treat me like a normal person if they knew. The same about me being on the cusp of the spectrum.

My only major problem is that sometimes when I'm either really comfortable in a situation or trying to process an idea around me, I lose control of the volume of my voice. I don't mean to be loud, but it seems like I can only focus on how I'm coming across verbally or nonverbally, and it gets hard to balance both. Trying to establish a conversational rhythm while focusing on how you come across to people is a juggling act that I've become accustomed to. I know what is "right" and "wrong" with both kinds of skills, but sometimes the pace of most conversations is too quick for me. I often have to conciously remind myself to stay focused.

I also get annoyed by the fact that my mind gravitates towards very specific interests and inclinations so in order to have good conversations and to connect with most people, I have to learn about what they like through being directly involved with them. I'll share their interests during the times we hang out, but truly, when we are apart, I'll just do my own thing.

Yes. Sometimes it's embarassing that I'm slow and clumsy, or that I have bad memory.

Also, sometimes when I've been on my own for a while or did something I really enjoyed, I kinda forget I have AS and feel completely normal. Then in the next social situation I'm like "oh, yeah, I forgot that I'm weird" and actually feel a little down.

same. Except that I am embarrassed and a little frustrated when I am expected to socialize and feel more like kicking back and surfing the web or playing with the chinchillas or reading Deadline for the fiftieth (literally) time.

Not something I'm embarrassed of (or even aware of) in the moment that it's happening, but something I reflect on later and feel embarrassed about is my assumption that everybody is as honest as I am. I mean, I don't normally see reasons not to trust people. Yet, when I hear stories or watch shows and people seem to uncover each others' lies so easily, I wonder if maybe some people are lying around me all the time and I'm just too trusting to notice. It's possible stories are just that, stories, which wouldn't work unless somebody was clever enough to realize another person was deceitful. But I mean, I trust LOTS of people. I probably shouldn't, but I guess I lack whatever it is that picks up on subtle dishonesty. I mean, I once worked a job where I had about 60 coworkers. I saw nothing sketchy about ANY of them. One that worked in my department later got arrested for stealing many high-value items... during regular business hours! Other people later said that he always seemed fishy. I was embarrassed that I couldn't honestly say that. (Note: I do not feel that I'm "gullible", however. I'm skeptical about any claim I hear and I'm the first person to research a "fact" somebody tells me. It's on an interpersonal level that I usually accept things.)

I also hate my inability to notice the tone (and sometimes volume) of my own voice. It's been a constant problem all my life, getting me into trouble countless times. Somehow, after 23 years, my mom still thinks it's simply a matter of me fixing my "attitude"... that I'm angry inside and that's why sometimes my tone sounds confrontational. She (and others) just can't seem to get it that I don't hear this "tone" of which they speak! It's definitely embarrassing to have people think a simple comment you made was actually an invitation to an argument. It's also very embarrassing when people tell you to "calm down" or "relax" when you're already calm as can be.

I'm fine with most of my stims. There is one thing that sometimes embarrasses me, though. I'm always cracking my knuckles (or elbows, or wrists, or ankles, or neck, or back...) I do it without thinking, so it normally doesn't bother me. Sometimes, though, somebody has to point it out. Like, "That sounded painful!" or, conversely, "That sounded relieving!"

I also hate when I can't figure out what to do with my arms. I consciously keep some "body language" signs in mind, so that I don't do something paradoxical like cross them over my chest when I want to appear inviting.

Yes, I am embarrassed very much by the negative ones. I hate them more than anything and wish they would go away.

YES!! !! !! especially when I get caught talking to myself or have my moments of echolalia randomly probably the most embaressing however is when I have a meltdown and cause a scene!!

Yes, my mother made sure to embarrass me on every one of my difficulties, whether it's talking to myself or anything of the like (she made sure to tell me every time she caught me stimming growing up "errpyderp normal people don't do that". She still can't understand how I can have trouble perceiving the actual volume of my voice. When I'm talking.

The more aware I am, the more depressed I get. Sometimes I just mentally check out and bury myself in whatever project whatever it's art or music to pass the time until I can deal again.