Is anyone else annoyed by all the negativity here?

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Rascal77s
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28 Aug 2012, 12:12 am

Schizpergers wrote:

I used to come here with a different username but stopped coming here for a while because I can't help but feel annoyed with all the whiny posts I see here. Every other post is full of "I cants" and "I sucks" and other similar self loathing rants. Now I'm not trying to be mean but I can't help but to feel irritated with all the negativity.
Personally I find this kind of thinking to be even worse than someone who is just simply mean. Here's why I feel this way.
Take someone for example whos just simply mean and selfish. Now I'm not condoning being mean but Im going to say at least they are doing things on purpose and don't usually get in their own way. At least their usually self sufficient.
Now take someone for example who is self loathing and afarid to try anything. They become too weak to do things for themselves and bring down everyone around them. They sometimes even follow what someone who is mean is telling them to do and will not stand their ground.
Heres an example of what I mean by this.
Say theres a mother and a father who have kids together. The father is abusive towards them and the mother is too scared to stand up for her children. CPS is called by a neighbor and the father is put in jail. Should the mother have rights to keep the kids? Hell no! I think she is just as guilty for letting this situation happen and should also be thrown in jail for not sticking up for her kids.
This is why I feel that self-loathing people are just as bad if not worse than mean people.

This is a site for people with serious problems. WTF did you expect rainbows and ponies? For many people this is the only place they can vent. Some of these people have worse problems than you, some don't. If you're irritated by these people you're free to piss off, that simple.

AutisticBelle
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28 Aug 2012, 1:49 am

invisiblesilent wrote:

Pretty certain this is a troll post. Don't feed the troll.

I'm so, so, so sorry, I know this has nothing to do with the original topic but I must know; What do people mean when talk about trolls in this fashion? Its killing me that I don't know!

As to the original topic, I also get a little annoyed with the negetivity, but in all fairness, I contribue to it sometimes. Its just the way life is I guess. Just part of being human. Also, its easier to let loose online, because theres a certain distance, allowing you to vent without fear of too many reprecussions.
And also, all this talk of abuse shouldn't be bandied about so lightly, in my oppinion. To some people, it might hit too close to home, open old or fresh wounds, and make them release the negetivity we are trying to avoid.

(Oh, and did i just feed a troll?

I sort of thought trolls ate goats

)

outofplace
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28 Aug 2012, 2:37 am

AutisticBelle wrote:

invisiblesilent wrote:

Pretty certain this is a troll post. Don't feed the troll.

(Oh, and did i just feed a troll?

I sort of thought trolls ate goats

)

Trolling in the sense that it is being used here, is a form of social engineering. Some people will say things just to get a reaction, not because they actually believe the absurd statement they make. They then see how long they can drag it out before people call BS on them and stop replying. Thus, if no one replies to the question, the troll has not been fed and starves to death...figuratively of course.

Now, not all trolls are created the same. Some are far more subtle and believable than others. These are the more intelligent ones who know both how to write well and how to use certain key phrases or words to provoke a reaction in people that otherwise would never respond to an obvious troll. I believe that this is the sort of troll that people who responded to this thread thought they were dealing with.

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Joe90
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28 Aug 2012, 8:16 am

No, that is what the Haven is there for. If you don't want to read doom and gloom, then don't visit the Haven. And as for doom and gloom in General Autism Discussion, well, a lot of us have issues and I think we're not being that weak if we are actually opening up to strangers online and sharing how we feel, I think it's pretty brave. I have Social Phobia, I have difficulties with speaking up verbally in group discussions so I find it much easier to talk about it here more.

Also there seems to be a lot of ''are you proud to have AS?'' posts keep springing up lately, which I get bored of now because I think I'm the one on WP who absolutely loathes having AS the most being so I can write pages and pages of self-loathing posts, which I can't be bothered to any more, so I stop posting on these sorts of threads.

But some of us can't help hating the way we are, whilst others are OK with being different.

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musicforanna
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28 Aug 2012, 8:19 am

I don't know if it's me, but I don't remember this place being as negative as it was maybe 5 years ago.

But I was humored recently when someone PM'ed me asking me if I take any happy pills and what I did to be happy. Like, really? If only he knew how I really was.

Nonperson
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28 Aug 2012, 9:48 am

Well, yeah, it annoys me when people seem to have a really negative view of themselves, and view those who don't as fakes who can't possibly have real problems. I have real problems but choose to view myself positively. Seeing yourself and your brain as "defective" or only "different" is a value judgment and a choice - not something where there is an objective truth to be found. Seeing yourself as defective is in no way healthy.

But what you say about battered wives? Blaming the victim is not helpful. In your example, you're choosing to harm the kids to "punish" the mother (do you really think they are better off in a foster home?) and, in the case of aspies, people who are down on themselves don't need harshness (at least not until they start insulting everyone else). They are internalizing the negativity they get from society, and need to be encouraged to see their own worth.

Alfonso12345
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28 Aug 2012, 10:02 am

The_Walrus wrote:

Schizpergers wrote:

Say theres a mother and a father who have kids together. The father is abusive towards them and the mother is too scared to stand up for her children. CPS is called by a neighbor and the father is put in jail. Should the mother have rights to keep the kids? Hell no! I think she is just as guilty for letting this situation happen and should also be thrown in jail for not sticking up for her kids.

So deliberate, regular violence against children is just as bad as failing to escape an abusive relationship? Should the Jews have just stood up to the Egyptians? :roll:

I agree to an extent with the rest of your post though, it really annoys me when I see people say "why must I be cursed with autism?" and things like that.

I don't think the Jews were every really enslaved by the Egyptians, but imagine how hard it would have been for them to stand up to the Nazis.

But schizpergers, what a crazy idea, punish a victim because she was too afraid to do anything. By that logic, we should punish rape victims for not getting help or for not crying out for help, along with the rapist, just like the Bible teaches... Maybe it's because she didn't fight back good enough, so deserves to go to Jail... I certainly hope you don't think that way.

But why should anyone be annoyed by negativity? When a person is self-loathing, shouldn't we as community members try to help them? When ever I'm feeling bad about something and post about it on here, the comments always help. If everyone who saw posts like that thought, "OMG, so annoying that they are self-loathing! Go post somewhere else!" no one would ever get help on here.

Rascal77s wrote:

Nice reply to this "potentially" immoral person who probably thinks victims should be punished along with their attackers/oppressors.

whirlingmind
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28 Aug 2012, 10:52 am

Schizpergers wrote:

I can't help but to feel irritated with all the negativity.

I haven't noticed a disproportionate amount of negativity here. To me there is a normal balance of humour, discussion, curiosity, worry and depression as you would probably get across society.

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LookTwice
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28 Aug 2012, 11:36 am

Nonperson wrote:

It annoys me when people assume that it's always simply a matter of choice to view oneself as defective or not, because included in that assumption there usually is an allegation: that you're just too lazy, complacent (or whatever) to change, that you could if you would just really try, you just don't try enough! After all, I tried and it worked for me!

If your car is defective, is it an objective truth? It really depends on how you evaluate your car - if you're happy as long as it looks nice and impressive to the neighbours, you can call your car perfectly fine even if it doesn't drive anymore.
Most people would say it's defective if it doesn't fulfill its primary function anymore, but the concept of the primary function is entirely subjective.

If I notice that my interactions with other people fail in many ways, noticably more so than it does between other people, then I can state that I am defective with just as much validity as you can call a car that doesn't drive defective. You can say it's defeatist to say that your car is defective, that you should instead look at the bright side and try to get it running again or get a new one, but that doesn't change the situation as it is now. How you describe your experience also doesn't determine the actions you will take.

In the end this is all linguistics and nobody has the right to define the one and only correct way to put your life experience into words.

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Nonperson
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28 Aug 2012, 12:39 pm

LookTwice wrote:

You completely misinterpreted what I said.

I'm not claiming that we can change any more than we can grow wings and fly. I just don't think we are defective because of that, any more than we are defective because we can't fly. We are what we are and it is not inherently bad.

EDIT: Since people seem to have difficulty with this:
I'm not saying it can't cause problems. Just because something causes difficulties in a particular situation doesn't mean it's bad in an absolute sense.

LookTwice wrote:

If your car is defective, is it an objective truth? It really depends on how you evaluate your car - if you're happy as long as it looks nice and impressive to the neighbours, you can call your car perfectly fine even if it doesn't drive anymore.
Most people would say it's defective if it doesn't fulfill its primary function anymore, but the concept of the primary function is entirely subjective.

And what is a person's "primary function"? That comes down to philosophy, not objective truth.

LookTwice wrote:

If I notice that my interactions with other people fail in many ways, noticably more so than it does between other people, then I can state that I am defective with just as much validity as you can call a car that doesn't drive defective. You can say it's defeatist to say that your car is defective, that you should instead look at the bright side and try to get it running again or get a new one, but that doesn't change the situation as it is now. How you describe your experience also doesn't determine the actions you will take.

Does your car have no clear "function", with several potential ones, as you do? Are you stuck with your car for life, as with yourself? Lousy example. And yes, it does influence the actions you take.

LookTwice wrote:

In the end this is all linguistics and nobody has the right to define the one and only correct way to put your life experience into words.

No, they don't. I didn't say it was less correct (there is no correct and incorrect in that) but unhealthy. Seeing yourself as defective won't turn you into an NT or make your life easier, but it will very likely make you more depressed. Of course, you're free to do so if you like.

AutisticBelle
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28 Aug 2012, 2:11 pm

outofplace wrote:

AutisticBelle wrote:

invisiblesilent wrote:

Pretty certain this is a troll post. Don't feed the troll.

(Oh, and did i just feed a troll?

I sort of thought trolls ate goats

)

Thanks

LookTwice
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28 Aug 2012, 3:55 pm

Nonperson wrote:

I have to pass the ball right back to you: you didn't understand what I was saying.

The analogy with the car is not supposed to be perfect, no analogy is. But it works for the point I was trying to make; if something cannot sufficiently fulfill its primary function (which we both agree is subjective), it is just a situational description to call it defective. If I think that it is one of my primary functions to interact and connect with other people, then I can call myself defective when I notice that I have considerable more trouble doing so in comparison to other people.
There is no value judgement in that as you still seem to insist - saying something is defective is not the same as saying something is bad or worthless. There are people who say things like that as a value judgement, but that doesn't mean it is always the case. It can simply be an acknowledgment of reality.

SavageMessiah
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28 Aug 2012, 4:37 pm

I've moderated boards in the past, and....

Sometimes people create "spare" usernames over the years in case "something happens" to their primary name, e.g. banning. In this case it would simply be a matter of the current mods choosing to watch this person closely in the future and cross-match/reference IP addresses for prior inflammatory activity under different names (and then act accordingly).

In this case, I would treat the OP as their behavior insinuates. To put it simply, a two year-old "spare" name coming out of the blue and making inflammatory generalizations and accusations throws up all kinds of red flags.

Not saying that this is or isn't the case But some people are that hard up for attention and don't take "no" for an answer.

Aside from that ASD's have presented many health-threatening issues for many people, and to be concerned about "shaking" the negative connotations is completely ridiculous!

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