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CrystalStars
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23 Sep 2012, 12:38 am

billiscool wrote:
spaghedeity wrote:
Somehow I feel like you're bound and determined to prove that Aspie women do better with men because we tend to not be as shallow as you seem to be.
in a way I am. I just find so interesting that so many aspie women are so good when comes to men. Now that not a bad thing. what makes no sense is why don't we see this on the male side. How come we don't see alot of aspie men with dates. How come good looking,rich men have alots of dates.

Because they're good looking and rich, and some people are shallow.


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billiscool
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23 Sep 2012, 12:40 am

so maybe women not here but women in general would rather date a more social, popular, good looking male than an less social,unpopular, aspie male. Yet men for whatever reason don't seem to have alot of issues with unpopular, average looking aspie women. maybe it because of porn. You know they always have that quiet shy nerdy girl, that every guys want to fix or something like that



billiscool
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23 Sep 2012, 12:43 am

CrystalStars wrote:
Because they're good looking and rich, and some people are shallow.

Right. so why is that women go heads over heel for a good looking rich man but men don't go crazy over a rich good looking women. Why are men so scared of good looking, succesful women?



CrystalStars
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23 Sep 2012, 12:43 am

billiscool wrote:
so maybe women not here but women in general would rather date a more social, popular, good looking male than an less social,unpopular, aspie male. Yet men for whatever reason don't seem to have alot of issues with unpopular, average looking aspie women. maybe it because of porn. You know they always have that quiet shy nerdy girl, that every guys want to fix or something like that

I (for once) partially agree with your post.


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billiscool
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23 Sep 2012, 12:45 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
Does Man B also have a nice personality? You didn't mention that. If so, I'd go for B. The only thing I found appealing in A was "nice personality" (and that's assuming by "nice" you mean the type of personality that goes well with mine), and the rest is almost a turn off. The only thing that is a turn off for Man B is "walks with his head down".

Man b is just very shy.



CrystalStars
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23 Sep 2012, 12:47 am

billiscool wrote:
CrystalStars wrote:
Because they're good looking and rich, and some people are shallow.

Right. so why is that women go heads over heel for a good looking rich man but men don't go crazy over a rich good looking women. Why are men so scared of good looking, succesful women?

In my case, I'm not scared of them. I would prefer if a female had a personality that meshes with my own. And not all women go for guys just because they're rich and attractive, as you can see from some of the posts in this particular thread.


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CrystalStars
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23 Sep 2012, 12:49 am

billiscool wrote:
CrystalStars wrote:
Because they're good looking and rich, and some people are shallow.

Right. so why is that women go heads over heel for a good looking rich man but men don't go crazy over a rich good looking women. Why are men so scared of good looking, succesful women?

I should also add that there's something very endearing about a modest, "average" gal, or at least that's how I feel.


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billiscool
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23 Sep 2012, 12:59 am

so here what Im getting. Men don't really care if a women has asperger as long as she nice. He can look past alot of her ''flaws''.
Women do care if a man or a women has asperger. So alot of nt women will not date an aspie man or become friends with an aspie female. Nt women would rather date (not always) a more better looking and more ''alpha'' male than a lonely loser ''beta'' male.

But I still don't get why so many men won't date a good looking, more social women, though.



CrystalStars
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23 Sep 2012, 12:59 am

billiscool wrote:
so here what Im getting. Men don't really care if a women has asperger as long as she nice. He can look past alot of her ''flaws''.
Women do care if a man or a women has asperger. So alot of nt women will not date an aspie man or become friends with an aspie female. Nt women would rather date (not always) a more better looking and more ''alpha'' male than a lonely loser ''beta'' male.

But I still don't get why so many men won't date a good looking, more social women, though.

Stop generalizing. Not every man/woman feels that way.


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23 Sep 2012, 1:00 am

I keep trying to reply but it keeps coming out sounding mean (less to you, now, and more to NT women in general, which is even less fair) even now that I'm trying to respond civilly. I give =/

I did want to say that your recent posts in this thread felt quite a lot more thought provoking to me than the earlier ones, and were I not behind on everything I've been trying to do for the past MONTH I'd totally keep writing and erasing until I found a way to respond appropriately.


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CrystalStars
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23 Sep 2012, 1:03 am

spaghedeity wrote:
I keep trying to reply but it keeps coming out sounding mean (less to you, now, and more to NT women in general, which is even less fair) even now that I'm trying to respond civilly. I give =/

I did want to say that your recent posts in this thread felt quite a lot more thought provoking to me than the earlier ones, and were I not behind on everything I've been trying to do for the past MONTH I'd totally keep writing and erasing until I found a way to respond appropriately.

I'm sure somebody will tell you if your post is "mean," so I'd go ahead and just post. Other people's thoughts could contribute a lot to this thread IMO.


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billiscool
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23 Sep 2012, 1:12 am

CrystalStars wrote:
Stop generalizing. Not every man/woman feels that way.
well of course not there might be few who don't.
but in general. Women would rather date more ''alpha'' male than a ''beta'' male. Yet Men don't really care if women is popular or not. in general of course



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23 Sep 2012, 1:24 am

I cannot hide my disorder.
I cannot fit in with society.
I don't have a lot of female friends and can't make female friends easily.
I don't have a lot of male friends and can't make male friends easily.
I do have a relationship. My boyfriend is my romantic relationship, my social life, my friendship, my carer.
I have never been mistaken for having bipolar.

Ok that was from tuttle(above) from the tell me about aspie women thread. This what Im talking about. How is that this lady. who is Im sure a very, very nice lady. be able to get a boyfriend. where she can't even make a friend male or female. she can't fit into society. Im not mad at tuttle Im sure she a good lady. This what Im saying. There are so many women out there who have no disorder. who can fit into society. who can easily make friends of both gender. Yet have no boyfriends. Im sorry, tuttle. this is what Im trying to say



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23 Sep 2012, 1:31 am

billicool, I'm as puzzled as you are. I see this a lot on WP. People (men or women, same frequency) who post they're totally alone and go on and on about massive rejection, how they can't get along with one soul in this world, then at the end in passing they mention their wonderful, long-standing spouse.

I always attributed it to Anglo-Saxon culture, because where I am so many NT, perfectly socially fit, attractive women find it impossible to find a decent guy for a long-term relationship. I have a thread running on the older people's forum because I'm so intrigued.

I, for one, have not had any better luck with men than with the rest of society. Same problems exactly.


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Callista
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23 Sep 2012, 3:28 am

Quote:
Ok that was from tuttle(above) from the tell me about aspie women thread. This what Im talking about. How is that this lady. who is Im sure a very, very nice lady. be able to get a boyfriend. where she can't even make a friend male or female. she can't fit into society. Im not mad at tuttle Im sure she a good lady. This what Im saying. There are so many women out there who have no disorder. who can fit into society. who can easily make friends of both gender. Yet have no boyfriends. Im sorry, tuttle. this is what Im trying to say
Tuttle didn't say she can't make friends. She said it's hard for her. Similar to the way you could run a marathon, but it would be hard for you. (Assuming you have the time to train for it. Autistic people train for their whole lives.) We are usually (~75% of the time) introverts, but even an introvert wants and needs some social contact, if only the exchange of ideas on a forum like WP. The interesting thing about introverts, in fact, is that while we do not make a lot of friends, we tend to have deep, meaningful relationships with the few friends we do make. And there are autistic extroverts, too--the ones who talk to everyone, whom everyone knows, who are often confidently eccentric, the embodiment of the active-but-odd socialization style.

Fitting into society is not a prerequisite for having friends. Being different, being disabled, does not mean you will automatically be rejected. There are a lot of people--some disabled, some not--who actually prefer to interact with those who aren't quite normal. Look in any university science department; talk to the people peering through microscopes or working out equations. Check out the people backstage at the theater, or look up the local cat lady (and her six cats). Talk to immigrants and exchange students. Find artists, writers, musicians--or even stay-at-home parents with a playful take on life, or social savants who delight in connecting with just about anyone, equally at home chatting with a socialite or partying with a biker gang. There are eccentrics everywhere you look, and they won't be put off by an autistic's clumsy socialization. Many of them actually prefer it, because when you're autistic, you aren't good at deception or social games, so you don't really try to play them, because you'd be caught out in an instant. What you see is what you get, when it comes to most autistics. We've got an unusual perspective on the world--senses that pick up every detail whether we like it or not; the ability to fall in love with the oddest subjects, to see them with the excitement of a child discovering them for the first time.

There are, in short, quite a few people who have rejected the popular notion that a "desirable" person is pretty, successful, and conventionally charming. And they are discovering beauty of human diversity.


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23 Sep 2012, 9:53 am

billiscool wrote:
or is that men are just more nicer to women with asperger. But then again most men would not stay with a women who has ocd or is a hoarder though.


There is a tv show on here in the United States called Hoarding. I like to watch it because I like to figure out what makes other people tick. Anyways, I many of the hoarding women that appear on that show are married so I'm not sure where you are getting your information in general.

Many people with aspergers have a problem with not thinking outside the box and possibly you are not "thinking outside the box" with this topic?


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