Accepting Yourself

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Moondust
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25 Sep 2012, 4:51 pm

Buttoneater, did the woman die within 5 years indeed?

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Sweetleaf
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25 Sep 2012, 4:56 pm

Buttoneater wrote:

The superiority remark was referring to specific people I have met in support groups and seen post in non-AS themed message boards where everyone still has AS because it's about a hobby or interest that you'd have to be autistic to enjoy.

Basically, I think kids with AS should be taught that they're OK the way they are on the inside, but be informed that not conforming will likely lead to ridicule. I've always thought acting classes might help, though I always quit them right after I started because I hated the material we had to work with, and they would stop and "Make sure you're alright" if you actually start being convincing. So what if I wanted to start an improv exercise with real tears, a red face, and hyperventilation? I was exploring a damn character! I wasn't gonna stick around if they were going to just teach us "How to memorize the script for a 2-minute stage adaptation of 'The Billy Goats Gruff'" instead of "How to method act".

Yeah, if I had stuck with it instead of getting frustrated when my acting would frighten the teacher and other students, I would be a master of manipulation today, instead of only pretty good at it.

Hmm I suppose knowing you'll get ridiculed if you don't conform doesn't help when you can't....if anything it just seems like a weird justification for bullying like 'well you should have just conformed' to me that is BS people should be taught 'not' to ridicule people for their differences otherwise why should anyone with such differences even consider working on any of their behaviors that might be unpleasent to others?

I mean since the ridicule can exist it wouldn't be bad to be prepared for it and have coping stradagies instead of naive hope your going to make friends and its going to be an awesome first day of school just to have it crushed, but it just seems like its always so one sided like the person with autism or whatever other condition is expected to make all the effort in the world to conform and come off more normal and just accept that they'll get harrassed and there is nothing they can do about it. So it just seems more effort should be directed at decreasing 'normal' behavior like bullying.

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Buttoneater
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25 Sep 2012, 5:09 pm

Moondust wrote:

Buttoneater, did the woman die within 5 years indeed?

Of course she did, she had glioblastoma multiforme.

Moondust
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25 Sep 2012, 5:19 pm

I read now on wikipedia that prognosis is 1 year, though. How long was it till she died?

And was your mom angry that you made that comment? How did the woman react to you?

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Buttoneater
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25 Sep 2012, 5:21 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

Buttoneater wrote:

I'm just trying to think of what I wished was there for me at the time. Bullying is wrong, but we can't just do like I want and have the marines sweep through all the schools blowing the bullies brains out and sending their families to prison camps for the crime of harboring bullies, they deserve an education too, I guess, and they're human beings as well, ostensibly. I knew I was able to fake it, but I didn't, because they didn't teach you how to act in those classes. Every grade I was expecting "Ok, acting classes now will be all about drawing from your emotions and hard stuff like that, I'll know all about how to tug people's heartstrings when it's done, hello new friendships built on me pretending to be normal", but it was always more juvenile crap. A class about how normal people act, why, and how to imitate it would have been most helpful to me. I wanted to conform, and if someone had taught me how, I would have been able to. But there's no class like that. I know I would have been able to since I can do it now.

young_god
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25 Sep 2012, 5:43 pm

https://www.google.co.uk/search?client= ... el=suggest

But this must not be done by people under the age of 25, or was it 30?
If you do, you will cause irreparable damage.
Or so it says in "Alchemical Studies" by Jung.

Well, that is the idea, you must grow up first, before you find out who you really are.
Because a young man/child/woman/nut is not full formed.

The process of individuation (which has nothing to do with getting tattoos btw).
https://www.google.co.uk/search?client= ... 24&bih=592

Should only really be attempted by old hermits really.

Well maybe that is going too far.
But young lads/lasses in their youth - save it for later./

There are some that go through this process.
Or those that just discover who they are.

And sometimes they realise they are not very nice people.

And it is too late to change.

They will always be horrible people. Such people exist.

That is why you can not do this in youth.

Others discover, that, oh, thank god, it was not them, it was just the breaks
and the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. That they are in fact good people.
But it means nothing in a bad world...

Take your time.

Find out who you are in yourself.

Then ask the gods.

;-)

Sweetleaf
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25 Sep 2012, 5:59 pm

Buttoneater wrote:

I'm just trying to think of what I wished was there for me at the time. Bullying is wrong, but we can't just do like I want and have the marines sweep through all the schools blowing the bullies brains out and sending their families to prison camps for the crime of harboring bullies, they deserve an education too, I guess, and they're human beings as well, ostensibly. I knew I was able to fake it, but I didn't, because they didn't teach you how to act in those classes.
Every grade I was expecting "Ok, acting classes now will be all about drawing from your emotions and hard stuff like that, I'll know all about how to tug people's heartstrings when it's done, hello new friendships built on me pretending to be normal", but it was always more juvenile crap. A class about how normal people act, why, and how to imitate it would have been most helpful to me. I wanted to conform, and if someone had taught me how, I would have been able to. But there's no class like that. I know I would have been able to since I can do it now.

I think I would have at least liked to have known ways of protecting myself from the damage......but I didn't know how to react to it or deal with it and no one ever helped me with that so my only real option was to basically try to put up with it while trying not to let it totally destroy me, don't think I did a very good job.

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equestriatola
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25 Sep 2012, 7:40 pm

I have accepted who I am for the past few years now. It's not an easy thing, I tell you. But it can be done if you just tell yourself constantly.

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