Is there a way of living happily alone?

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No matter what people say I don't think I can live alone and work full time at the same time. I've tried and it didn't work. It's like fighting against a brick wall. My executive function / procrastination issues and internet addiction just take over when I'm constantly lonely and have nothing to look forward to. I'd love to be able to function on my own and have real independence, but I need a close roommate of some sort. Living in a house with a bunch of people where everyone is supposed to fend for themselves and do their own thing is ZERO help. In that situation I'm both lonely and lack privacy from people I don't connect with. Tried it. Doesn't work. What I really need is a single FRIEND to live with. I don't know why it's so freaking hard. This world is just nuts.

^^^I get that,I have problems with someone being around too much.I don't know the happy medium.I wouldn't like someone around 24/7 but there are times when it would be nice.Like when there's a meteor shower,mostly I miss having someone when there is something cool and I want to share.But if I feel blue,I don't want to see another person,or talk to them.Most people take this personal.The idea of a bunch of people around is not pleasant at all.

^^^
a big-enough house should [in combo with a compatible person] cover all those bases, IOW not 24/7 but often enough, hopefully, to suit both parties.

Loneliness is a social construct. Parents, school, then on to work where the script keeps inculcating. Every interaction mutates the individual into a collectivized proxy. Resistance requires special skills. Most of my major life mistakes came shortly after saying the word "yes." Any system of slavery so well designed it does not breed revolt is the real threat.

Yes it is possible to live at least contentedly, alone. Living with someone is no guarantee of happiness any more than living alone is. Contentment is a good thing to aim for.

If you don't dislike this type of thing, joining clubs you have an interest in could help relieve the need for grownup conversation from time to time. Casual or special interest conversation. Or even the need to just be in proximity to other human beings sometimes.

Other than that, there is always the internet. Before the internet it was a lot harder.

Yeah... I love living alone (in fact, living alone was my utmost desire for several years - I couldn't wait) but I have friends outside of my home, so I do have that social connection.

I feel like I'm being told I'm defective when people lecture me that I need to find out how to live contentedly alone. I've tried multiple times and each time it only takes a couple months for me to tire of the initial excitement of my new surroundings/environment and lose interest in leaving the house for anything but shopping and work. Then I get depressed and find myself staying up late on the internet out of horrible boredom and loneliness. Then I stop being able to get up and get ready on time for work, start forgetting to check the mail and pay bills, and that's when everything crashes. Socializing at work never helped me as it was always unrelaxed, stilted, and felt contrived. Just joining once-a-week type clubs isn't enough because I lose interest and stop wanting to go for some reason. I think its the fact that only seeing people once a week doesn't give me an emotional connection to them. That and I don't have enough free time where I'm not too exhausted to have to deal with an outing. Casual acquaintances are more of a burden and energy drain than a help for me. They always ask me questions directing the conversation to something I don't want to talk about and silence is awkward. I hate that, especially when I'm depressed. I can't just "snap out" of feeling depressed and lonely and socialize normally. Not without A LOT of alcohol which is bad for obvious reasons. I'm not a drinker and don't want to start. I'm starting to think I need to find a commune/cooperative living environment. I'd love to find a SO to live with but the prospect is just too stressful and the potential to get horribly hurt from rejection with no fall back is too high. I'm really f*****g tired of being told I'm "making excuses". I think I know myself pretty well by now.

I have little, if any, social connections outside work. Sometimes I do get lonely, but since I got cats, I never feel truly alone anymore. I know an animal can't replace human interaction, but there is a comfort in always having another living being in my proximity. My cats are very social, I seldom have an empty lap and they always sleep on my bed with me. I know I sound like a crazy cat-lady, but that's how I deal with it.

I used to have flat-mates, but that really drove me bonkers. They always wanted to chat and be social, but I need a lot of me-time, and usually came off as rude when I went to my room and closed the door to avoid it.

My suggestion to you is to get a pet, if your life allows it, and/or get involved with some kind of activity you enjoy. In my part of the universe, we have what I call the 'dog maffia', dog owners who walk their dogs together every morning and evening, on weekends they might go together to the countryside for the day with picknics and do some training as well. There are all sorts or clubs out there, from chessclubs to scoutclubs to miniture train clubs to... Everything under the sun.
Figure out something you enjoy doing and take it from there.
Another tip that I used to do for a short while was to volonteer with homework help / tutoring for younger, less fortunate kids. Kids can be cruel, but also very open and accepting of odd-balls like me. In my town there are kids who's parents don't speak the language and can't help their kids with learning to read or write, or understanding the texts they need to learn about for school, and it is greatly rewarding to be a positive influence and role model.

If you're lucky to derive pleasure from caring for stray cats, you're never lonely, as they'll run up to sit with you for hours at any time, they're there 24/7 to keep you company. That's what I used to do before I adopted 3 of them and never became lonely for company anymore. I still crave human interaction on some days, especially at the end of a weekend without it, but there's no point of comparison.

seconded. very well put.

There could be a few commune type places in the West coast (if you are still thinking of moving there)to check into,look for one that has been around awhile.There is one above me in Mo that has really open minded people.I have several acquaintances that stayed there for awhile.It was open ,enough where one of the men felt comfy wearing a skirt.Most of the counter culture is very open to differences.

I think I'd be happy to cook dinner and eat with a small group of people every evening, but also have my own private apartment to retreat to within close walking distance. The biggest barrier to living alone for me is always having to cook for myself and eat alone. After a few months of that I just get so depressed and barely have the energy. I need a built in social structure. I can't rely on work for my social needs. It's just not ever relaxed enough to feel good because I can't work and socialize at the same time. I need to find something like this or to be honest I'm not going to bother living much longer. Life just isn't worth it being alone and depressed, not being able to sleep, and having to drag myself out of bed for a boring job I'm going to spend most of the day fighting the urge to nod off. I've tried this and its UTTER HELL. I did this for three months one winter in Washington DC and I would have killed myself if I didn't think there was another option. I need to figure out how to have fun in some way that involves other people in person. Talking to people on the internet just doesn't help me. Living with my parents just isn't working and is making me feel more and more awful by the day.

You should definitely check out a community of some type,its entirely possible you could have privacy and then social interaction with a group.The one in Mo is called Eastwind community and they make really good nut butters.You could maybe contact them and see of they can suggest some good communities where you are moving to.I think everyone pitches in with the chores but that's not so bad.

For me I do not mind living alone if I work and have some social interaction there, as well as have some friends to do things with on the weekends. Sometimes I may not socialize every single weekend, but maybe every other weekend. If I am somewhat social I do not mind living alone so much. Ultimately I would prefer to not live alone and would like to live with a significant other who appreciated that I need down time and also need alone time.

Thanks. I'm trying to check some things out. Sorry for being so hysterical. I'm having a rough time now.

Hi marshall

Not sure if you meant me. I wasn't trying to lecture anybody.

I thought the question was more like, "what if we can't find a partner, roommate, spouse, or never have kids, what then?" My answer was, I thought, giving hope: it is possible to live contentedly alone.

I'd never tell people to purposely live alone if they are not happy that way. Your solution of sharing a house with others could be good; only you can decide.