Unhelpful advice you've been given.

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"Just read their body language." If I knew how to read it.

"Calm down" this one is the worst.

Indeed. It still baffles me when people take offence when I refuse to comply with their trite advice.

Most, if not all of the posts in this thread resonate with me to a degree, but my biggest problem is with people who assume they know what I am thinking or feeling, then proceed to act on this information without bothering to verify.

Solitude will forever be my best friend.

On the subject of bullying, here are a few more given to me that are flat out wrong:
"Just ignore bullies and they will leave you alone."
"You are bigger, why aren't you fighting back? (when I'm being bullied by 8-10 people)"
"Fit it and act like them and they will leave you alone"
or the worst of all:
"Report it to your teacher and they will stop it"

Most people don't say much to me; however, my mom definitely gave her share of unhelpful advice to me when I was in high school, but there is one thing in particular that sticks out in my mind,

"You could have more friends if you would stop being so antisocial."

1)You should watch what you say.

My response: Well I watch what I say more then you ever had to in your entire life.

2) Contradictory advice, you should just lighten up and have a good time

My responce: ummmmmm....wtf?

3) Just go with the flow?

My response: What flow? As an aspie, there aint no flow.

4) You should come out of your shell.

My response: You really dont want me to come out of my shell seriously.

I was sitting here bouncing my leg as I was reading this.

"Just be yourself." Who else am I going to be? Napoleon? Ginger Rogers?

"Cheer up, it may never happen"

"Try being friendly to people and you'll make more friends"

Yeah, all those are total BS!! ! I highly doubt that the person imparting the advice would act on it themselves if THEY were on the receiving end of bullying. I think it's b/c the other person opines that you are not the best candidate for standing up for yourself (with the exception of point #2 above), so they give lame advice.

I've asked other people, as a test, what would they do if they were being bullied (describing similar bullying situations to mine, but w/o telling them that I was the victim ) and the response was typically "I would put the fear of God into them, telling them one-on-one that if this continues, I'm going to make them suffer - I would grab him by the collar or neck or threaten them etc etc..." I'd contest this by saying "well, that could get out of proportion and involve legal consequences" - the other guy would just say "well, it's my word against his, I'd do it when there are no witnesses." Note that I did this experiment BEFORE I told them of my own bully woes, but had I told them about it first, the response would have no doubt been vastly different. They boast about how they'd do something illegal just to let the bully know that "I'm crazy and you shouldn't mess with me" but wouldn't endorse the same for me. Of course, I don't believe that many of them would actually carry out their advice if confronted by a bully, they are just posturing & embellishing for sake of dignity.

- I DO do that, but I still somehow appear unconfident because I'm such an easy target for immature dickheads to get cheap laughter from (ones that don't even know me).

''If people laugh at you, then they aren't worth worrying about'' - true if you see them laughing at everybody, but when they just single me out then there must be something wrong with me because I get the feeling that everyone else in the room are accepted except me, which is very hurtful indeed.

''People stare you because you're attractive'' - no, they stare at me to either intimidate or criticise. I'm not that attractive, not enough to be stared at and thought ''wow, look how outstandingly beautiful that girl is''. I am just ordinary. Not ugly, just ordinary. I should blend into the background.

I had that for about 4 years. They actually did nothing, ever. That was even when someone hit me in front of a teacher. Actually, she did something - told me off for hitting back.

I have been told just "get over it". Get over what? The fact that some noises are too painful and talking to people is so difficult?

That's actually good advice. That's life, and over time you get used to it. As an artist, the frustrations I have with it inspire artwork and I find moderate success sometimes. You have to accept it first, however.

"Just stop thinking so much."
"You only need to motivate yourself."
"You should try saint johns wart, instead of cymbalta."
"If you cant describe how you feel in words, sit down and write it out."

This is another piece of advice I think would be good. Artistic expression is important.

"Just be normal!" Heard this one about 900 times growing up from my mother. Erm...I'd love to, Mom! I will have to go work on that...(sarcasm)

"Get over it" That one irks me endlessly and it's a favorite of my Dad's.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you" Yuck.
Anything about being lazy, underachieving, anti-social, a 'homebody' and so on.

try harder.
jerk myself up by my own bootstraps.
be more normal.
learn to conform to other people more.

and the usual other crap.