30 Nov 2012, 4:00 pm
League_Girl wrote:
cubedemon6073 wrote:
Quote:
What if you don't have any money? What if you always found it too stressful so you decided "forget it" and skipped it every year?
This is what I am talking about as well. If you don't have the money then in my opinion one should not buy christmas presents. If you find it to stressful then continue to forget it and skip it. If it is a detriment to you then why follow a social tradition that is not good for you????
I've always hated feeling like I'm obligated to do things like give presents because it is socially improper to do so. IMHO, it is freaking stupid especially to put one's own physical and mental health for social customs and traditions. On the other hand, this does not give me the right to stop others from following these customs or traditions.
Please take a look at this site book by libertarian author Harry Browne. Personally, I don't agree with some of the tenets of libertarianism as I see major flaws. This is ok. None of us has to agree with everything he says. The point is we can choose.
http://eiiiforum.com/picsfromusers/howifoundfreedom.pdf
Especially look at freedom from social restrictions on page 137.
Quote:
People feel compelled to do this and they end up going broke every year or in debt because they feel obligated to do this. All because it's part of the social rule. 
Here is the thing. They do not have to do it. They are not obligated whatsoever. It is a trap and an illusion they have put themselves in. They do not have to be in social relationships that require this or hang with people who demand this. Neither do you.
I do believe we all have a choice in someway but each choice we make has an associated cost like Mr. Browne says. Please read it at your leisure. I think you may find some value.
If it wasn't a social rule, they wouldn't feel compelled to do it. I swear even NTs see things in black and white because they feel they have to do it no matter what and this is one of them. Of course not everyone is this black and white about that rule so they end up not buying anything. But some feel bad about it though and guilty and I don't understand it but maybe it's the social rule that makes them feel that way because they are breaking it. So if we were to get rid of this rule, people would stop feeling bad and guilty about not getting anyone anything and not feel compelled to doing it or else they feel bad and they feel pressured and worry about people being upset about not getting anything from them.
First, one can't make anyone do what they don't want to do.
Second, like I said it if it is a detriment then do not follow it.
Third, any choice you make will have some kind of associated cost and price. Please, read this book. I think you may find it englightening.
Fourth, what happens is people are incorrect on the assessment of their own situations. People think they have no choice but they do have choices but they may have choices in which one will have to pay a price they may not like. I don't mean price as in just money. One price may be that a person never speaks to you again. If a person never speaks to you again because you don't get them a gift then that will be the price you may have to pay. I have had to think through this myself.
Harry Browne wrote:
I think that the first step in freeing yourself from social restrictions is the
realization that there is no such thing as a “safe” code of conduct — one that would
earn everyone’s approval. Your actions can always be condemned by someone — for
being too bold or too apathetic, for being too conformist or too nonconformist, for
being too liberal or too conservative.
So it’s necessary to decide whose approval is important to you. If you just assume
that you must have the approval of those nearest to you, social restrictions will be a
very real problem.
realization that there is no such thing as a “safe” code of conduct — one that would
earn everyone’s approval. Your actions can always be condemned by someone — for
being too bold or too apathetic, for being too conformist or too nonconformist, for
being too liberal or too conservative.
So it’s necessary to decide whose approval is important to you. If you just assume
that you must have the approval of those nearest to you, social restrictions will be a
very real problem.
In a nutshell, it means you will piss someone off no matter what decision you make.
StarTrekker
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02 Dec 2012, 12:37 am
02 Dec 2012, 3:18 am
02 Dec 2012, 10:37 am
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