Perfectionism and Autism?
LtlPinkCoupe
Veteran
Joined: 7 Dec 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,044
Location: In my room, where it's safe
I was very perfectionistic when I was little....it's just that, I looked at everyone else, and they seemed to get everything right the first time; win everyone's approval and admiration, when I was told to "try again."
I remember being in an art class when I was 5 and a half and in a special needs school, and I would always get frustrated when what I was trying to put on paper/create wasn't coming to fruition (I still have that problem when I draw - my "output" is hardly ever identical to the image I had in my head), and the art teacher would come over to me, take my hand, and lead me to a corner of the room where she had this colorful handmade banner hanging on a cabinet. It said, "There are no mistakes in art."
I had to be reminded of that so often that I am sure she and I must have beat a path from the art tables to that cabinet over the course of the year.
I guess part of the problem was that the standards I set for myself were too high. I wanted to accomplish these earth-shaking things that were well-nigh impossible for such a young child to accomplish.
ETA:...I've just now realized the irony of my situation in kindergarten. Art should have been the class that was my "haven," my sanctuary, by virtue of it being impossible to make mistakes or to get things wrong. Instead, the class I recall loving best was reading, even though with reading, right and wrong answers counted.
_________________
I wish Sterling Holloway narrated my life.
"IT'S NOT FAIR!" "Life isn't fair, Calvin." "I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in MY favor?" ~ from Calvin and Hobbes
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