Hugs and pressure

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Yes of course that holds for the umbrella, the more true after these things have become disposable objects. But you can make a ranking and sometimes you don’t know well what to do. Suppose it’s a document you really need. You go back and you have to repeat all the greeting procedure. It will never happen that you repeat it the same way, with the same intensity and so on. This kind of thing happens all the time and may test your sincerity and many other aspects of your relationship; it’s always embarassing. Of course if the other is your wife or your sister, whom you have known for years, there will not be many problems to fetch your thing. The question arises when there is an uncertain situation and your hug may have been the result of a momentary impulse, or, worst, was largely ceremonial. I don’t want to enter in the field of pornography, but when there is an embrace between heads of state, suppose Blair and Putin, it’s all prepared in advance in every little shade. But, even here you have gaffes, mistakes. Does someone remember the meeting beween Bush and Angela Merkel one year ago?

I read this and realized I feel the same way. Maybe it's not as pronounced as it is with you, but I do get an urge to "clean off" the touch. It's almost as if slight touches left something on my skin. And being startled by a sudden light touch is about as bad as one could get; makes me start up and cringe, like a little electric shock or something.



I agree 100 percent. To me it often feels like touch says whatever I can’t put into words (that’s a great deal). It fills up all the gaps in communication. When one comes to think of it, it may be much more important than words, because it conveys things you can't really say at all, and it carries this enormous charge of warmth that no words can give.



Can't stand being tickled. It makes me twist inside and out. There was this family friend who used to come over for holidays and who always tried to tickle me. I coudn't bear to just be near him. Whenever he got close, I'd draw in my stomach and get this sinking feeling inside, and would try to escape. I'd automatically anticipate him starting to tickle me again at any moment and it was disturbing enough in itself.

Last edited by ixochiyo_yohuallan on 02 Jan 2007, 4:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I love and hate touch as in love hate relationship like in another post I did this is it's title Touch is uncomfortable, but has anyone craved it anyway?

I love to be touched and hugged, but only by the right person at the right time. If anyone else does it, I just become rigid and awkward.

No touching! I can't take it and given the right set of circumstances I will make it very clear to you that I do not approve at all.

Ethological footnote about elephants.

We, like chimps and other apes, are opposed to elephants (who are very passionate, intelligent and communicative animals), in that we have different parts of our bodies which can come into play in hugs. Elephants have only their trunk to communicate their affection, but they succeed very well, as elephants have very stable relationships and durable ties. Elephants who like each other greet by entwining their trunks, much like a handshake. They also use them while play-wrestling, and caressing. The trunk is an elephant's most sensitive body part. I have discovered that elephants do nearly everything communicative with their trunks, besides doing practical things like manipulating the environment. Trunks are something like our right hands (for those who are not left handed). They are composed by 50.000 different muscles, governed by special parts of the elephant’s brain.

(Of the five hundred species of elephants which existed some time past only two (or three) exist now and they are both threatened of extinction, please dont buy ivory).

I think like most people here I like hugs and firm touches but only when I expect it and even then its uncomfortable with strangers. Gawd, I'm yearning for a good good hug right now.

Last edited by ElectricBlue on 06 Jan 2007, 4:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have a couple of sisters who always hug me when I visit them and am about to leave. At first, I wasn't sure how I felt about that, because it was something we never did as children, and I wasn't used to being touched by anyone. But I couldn't share a lot of things with them back then that I can now. Now I look forward to those hugs, because it shows me that they love me.

I always liked hugs, desite the fact that hugging was pretty rare in my family. I find it very pleasant and comforting. Lately, I've become aware of different types of hugs, such as the one between co-workers, between friends of the opposite sex, and between romantic partners; I act accordingly in each situation. My favorite kind of hugs is the one a girl gives me at the end of a first date.

Don't remember how I started thinking on it (once I did searching the forum lead me here) but at first I thought my issue was that I simply don't like hugs, and that I hug people merely because its what they wanted or expected, that I was doing it simply to make them comfortable. Remembered a couple times where that isn't the case. (Not all that thrilled about a couple memories... damn it, good hug, bad memory...)

The above basically sums up things for me. I think, upon some reflection, that I really do enjoy hugs. They have to be done "right." The situation has to be right, the person has to be right, the "amount" has to be right, otherwise it just seems really awkward. I've gotten to where I'm pretty ok with giving a hug, if I know its expected, but I still don't enjoy doing it. The few chances I've had just to, idunno, hold someone / be held (specifically member of the opposite sex that I'm interested in) I've really enjoyed it. Past that, eh, idunno, I'm not sure I can confidently say I know when hugs are a good thing. I'm sure there are times, I just don't recognize them allt he time.

Yes, of course hugs must be with the right person, in the right moment, with the right pressure…But does not this amount to say that what holds for any other aspect of a relationship, holds also for hugs? Talking, looking into each other, do the right thing (the right gifts – how difficult it is to do the right gifts), being at the right distance. When you walk with someone you like, don’t you have to monitor the other’s pace? If you play tennis don’t you have to measure your aggressiveness to avoid turning a game in a fight?). Is it not again the same problem of harmonizing with the other without effort?

I used to hate being touched at all but now it's only when I'm mad that I don't like being touched.Other than that, I love hugs!

I like hugging better than kissing!

I love firm hugs. Light caressing is ok if I'm in a sexual situation and already aroused; otherwise, no thank you, it drives me nuts. And being tickled completely freaks me out. I can become violent in my attempt to stop the tickler and have no control over it at all.

I also hate light touche and being bumped into in public. When someone bumps me, it's like everyone else disappears for a moment and only that one person is left and I do NOT like them very much at that moment, even if they are my friend. I hate gentle handshakes or gentle . . .much of anything. I LOVE a good tight bear hug, but little whispy touches, tickles or pokes make me instantly violent. The "Get away from me" reflex is immidiate. My ex husband would sometimes brush his toes against my leg to wake me up, and I would throw him of bed.