To be brutally honest.

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answeraspergers
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22 Jan 2013, 9:45 am

whats intensity squared?

edit: i found it

AgentPalpatine
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22 Jan 2013, 9:58 am

I have expressed my personal thoughts on the matter in the "Wrongplanet.net discusion" sub-forum.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt221752.html

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pokerface
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22 Jan 2013, 10:05 am

AgentPalpatine wrote:

pokerface wrote:

I don't want to offend you either but regulating our negative posts means that we are not being totally honest about ourselves and all sorts of other issues anymore. Instead of being honest we would be keeping up appearances in that case and I think that a false and fake form of optimism can be just as bad as being pessimistic and negative. I for myself don't think that I can become a person who has a positive attitude just by repressing al the negativity that is inside of me.

Our posts on this forum may come across as a bit negative but that does not mean that we feel like that all the time.
A post on a forum can be compared with a snapshot. I sometimes post certain things in the heat of the moment.

But should we be willing to take into account that loss to Aspies everywhere from the overall tone? I realize that each marginal post is'nt much, but overall, might WP posters be more welcoming if some of the posts were routed to "Haven", which is expressely for that function?

Just kidding!
Can you give a further explanation?

AgentPalpatine
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22 Jan 2013, 10:23 am

pokerface wrote:

AgentPalpatine wrote:

Just kidding!
Can you give a further explanation?

Yes. If there are Aspies out there who would benefit from being WP members, and I strongly believe that there are, then I think that we, as a community, lose out when the "negative tone" of WP, at least WP "General Autism Discussion", drives members away.

I'd like people to think about what it was like when they first became aware that they wern't the only one with AS. Would you want to come to a community where people are open and welcoming, and willing to discuss positive topics, or a community where the "front page" (which is "General") regularly has topics such as "being lonely", "unachieving", and "getting lost". Each of these topics is perfectly legitimate, but might be better suited for the "Haven", which is expressly for this purpose.

Also, while I doubt there is a way to measure the attrition of existing posters, I wonder how many good posters we've lost because many good topic were lost in the sea of threads, and the constant "drumbeat" of negative posts. Again, I have nothing against negative posts, but I do believe that many would be more suited for the "Haven".

Was that the explanation you were looking for?

Stoek
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22 Jan 2013, 10:32 am

whirlingmind wrote:

Stoek wrote:

Verdandi wrote:

Exactly. Most of the stuff I discuss here is so I don't have to discuss it anywhere else. Most of the stuff here is so I can put it into words to discuss it in therapy. If I had no outlet for this, I'd be all over the place.

Overall, having WP as an outlet has actually made it easier for me to improve my daily functioning. I can't speak for anyone else, but that's what I get out of it.

That's perfectly fine to voice your pains and concerns, but it shouldn't be the main purpose of the site. Wouldn't you say that would be a good use of the haven sub board.

Again I'm not complaining, I'm voicing a grave concern, that this site is a beacon and the message may be very damaging.

I'm not attacking any one person, I'm not expecting everyone to get this, but without question, this site may be doing a fair amount of damage to the passers bye.

When you say 'passers by' do you mean potential Aspie users or NTs viewing us as a group? NTs already don't understand us so what's the difference. Potential Aspie users can choose this site or go elsewhere, no-one forces them to like the style of the forum or to use it, there are others out there.

But that's the point there is no where else for other aspies to go, and you may be immune to the effects of the negativity on this site, but I assure you the bulk of the aspies population are not. It's down right impossible. Again my concern if for the support needs of aspies at large.

hyperlexian
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22 Jan 2013, 10:39 am

here's the thing - WrongPlanet continues to attract a lot of new members (70,000+ and counting), and has at least 1000 people surfing at any given time... in spite of the OP's criticisms (or maybe people like the tone the way it is!). it is the most popular forum for people with ASDs right now.

if it were changed in some way or another, it could become less popular. in my opinion... if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

or even better... if you want to have more positive posts and thread... create them! !! ! moaning and complaining about things will get you nowhere.

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AgentPalpatine
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22 Jan 2013, 10:43 am

hyperlexian wrote:

On average, it takes about 12-16 hours (more on a US workday, less on a weekend) for new posts in General to knock old threads off the first page. I agree with the 1,000 member number, but I'm not sure how active many of them are. Also, if we even go by the absurdly low 1/200 number, there should be 1.5 Million Aspies in the US alone, even removing the young/old population, I think there is still room for growth.

I agree with you on creating more positive threads.

Joe90
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22 Jan 2013, 10:45 am

I'd rather read threads of sorrow and misery than read the ''is [insert normal human trait here] an ASD thing?'' threads. When I see one of those threads, I don't post a reply at all. So people who dislike threads of misery should avoid posting a reply in the misery threads.

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Stoek
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22 Jan 2013, 11:06 am

hyperlexian wrote:

As was said the majority of posts on a given day are 200-400 different posters.

They are the ones that have the power to make real change happen.

Stoek
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22 Jan 2013, 11:24 am

pokerface wrote:

Stoek wrote:

IdahoRose wrote:

And how do you propose that we address this issue hmm?

Simply acknowledge it as an issue would be step 1.

Step 2 is trying to regulate your negative posts.

Also realizing that a negativity bias, is strong in any community united by negatives.

Step 3 would be trying to unite over things that are less negative. I'm not suggesting one pretends to be happy, but at the very least trying find topics that are not negative in general would be of much value to us as a people.

Well stoek, you like to be brutally honest bus so do we.

I don't want to offend you either but regulating our negative posts means that we are not being totally honest about ourselves and all sorts of other issues anymore. Instead of being honest we would be keeping up appearances and I think that a false and fake form of optimism can be just as bad as being pessimistic and negative. I for myself don't think that I can become a person with a positive attitude just by repressing al the negativity inside of my mind.

Our posts may come across as a bit negative but that does not mean that we feel like that all the time.
A post on a forum can be compared with a snapshot. I sometimes post certain things in the heat of the moment.

Besides, the positive would not exist without the negative. It'is just a part a life.
Sometimes one just has to work out all the negative feelings inside before taking a different stand.

Dude I'm not some positive thinking kind of guy, if you think I am I got news for you.

I'm not saying the world isn't on fire, I have no problem talking about what is, if you met me in person you'd realize I shy away from no topic.

My point is if the world is on fire share it, but when you find a portion that isn't share it also, there are alot of people that need your help.

whirlingmind
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22 Jan 2013, 11:31 am

Stoek wrote:

whirlingmind wrote:

Stoek wrote:

Verdandi wrote:

There are other autism/Asperger's sites out there. No-one is forced to become or remain a member on WP. I can't see what the problem is.

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Stoek
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22 Jan 2013, 11:36 am

whirlingmind wrote:

There are other autism/Asperger's sites out there. No-one is forced to become or remain a member on WP. I can't see what the problem is.

Because this isn't about me, this isn't about you, it's about the millions of people out there that have no where else to go.

There are no other sources.

More importantly, if a mental health professional spent regular time on this site, they'd likely if at least partially agree that the posting habits are not benefiting the posters themselves.

Again I can't claim the negativity is harming you, it may not be harming the 200-300 posters on here, however without a doubt this site is harmful for the vast majority of posters.

It's not simply the negativity, it's the lack of anything to build on, there are many things one can find comfort in, and they are missing here.

A simple example is the rate at which obsessions are shared.

If you had to guess what do you think the common obsession is on this site.

I have many and their seems to be little discussion for any of them.

That alone signifies a problem.

pokerface
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22 Jan 2013, 11:37 am

hyperlexian wrote:

I prefer a community that is honest and true.

If people are feeling miserable they can show it as far as I'm concerned instead of pretending that they are feeling happy and positive. What confuses me personally and what I find very difficult to deal with is when people are saying one thing while their behaviour shows something completely different. If people are feeling miserable they are feeling miserable and there is nothing wrong with that. It's part of life.

I am allergic to all of those fake and manic positive attitudes that seem to be fashionable these days. Sometimes I even think that they are nothing more than self delusion. A positive attitude is great, probably the best thing there is, as long as it is real.
You have to really 'own' something before you start "preaching" about it.

I agree with hyperlexian.
I still like to visit Wrong Planet from time to time and it doesn't need fixing as far as I'm concerned.

Stoek
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22 Jan 2013, 11:42 am

pokerface wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

I prefer a community that is honest and true.

If people are feeling miserable they can show it as far as I'm concerned instead of pretending that they are feeling happy and positive. What confuses me personally and what I find very difficult to deal with is when people are saying one thing while their behaviour shows something completely different. If people are feeling miserable they are feeling miserable and there is nothing wrong with that. It's part of life.

I am allergic to all of those fake and manic positive attitudes that seem to be fashionable these days. Sometimes I even think that they are nothing more than self delusion. A positive attitude is great, probably the best thing there is, as long as it is real.
You have to really 'own' something before you start lecturing about it.

I agree with hyperlexian.
I still like to visit Wrong Planet from time to time and it doesn't need fixing as far as I'm concerned.

I'm not talking about a fake positive, if you know me I"m nothing of the sort, in fact stoicism, the philosophy for which I named myself, highlights the importance of identifying feelings.

Again you even by your own admission admit you only post here from time to time.

This sounds like you have positive threads elsewhere, but not here.

My question to you why isn't it convenient for you to post here regularly.

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22 Jan 2013, 11:42 am

Stoek wrote:

whirlingmind wrote:

There are other autism/Asperger's sites out there. No-one is forced to become or remain a member on WP. I can't see what the problem is.

Because this isn't about me, this isn't about you, it's about the millions of people out there that have no where else to go.
There are no other sources.
More importantly, if a mental health professional spent regular time on this site, they'd likely if at least partially agree that the posting habits are not benefiting the posters themselves.
Again I can't claim the negativity is harming you, it may not be harming the 200-300 posters on here, however without a doubt this site is harmful for the vast majority of posters.
It's not simply the negativity, it's the lack of anything to build on, there are many things one can find comfort in, and they are missing here.
A simple example is the rate at which obsessions are shared.
If you had to guess what do you think the common obsession is on this site.
I have many and their seems to be little discussion for any of them.
That alone signifies a problem.

That is a bold claim for something that you can not prove.

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AgentPalpatine
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22 Jan 2013, 11:42 am

Perhaps there is a middle ground between the different views here. Perhaps an understanding by posters that some types of threads are better in "Haven" then "General"?

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