Why so much negativity?

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Sometimes I think that people are only happy if they read about successes, and anything less than that is seen as negative.

I have never really perceived this forum as negative. I have seen some posters post really negative threads, but those don't seem to dominate the forum.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt206352.html
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp4966538.html
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt206057.html
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt223173.html

Ok, I will bite. Will you please take some time out of your busy schedule and critique my writings and if my rationale is off will you please show me?

Just a little self-obsessive, but that's normal.

Bias. The threads you deem negative are the ones you have a personal dislike of.

I would be in favor of a "positivity forum," with the stipulation that those who post in it must explain the specific things they did to accomplish their goal in a clear and precise manner.

I don't care much to read about others' good fortune or dumb luck without a little insight into what brought about their success. It's not that it would induce jealousy in me; I'd just find such a thread boring.

OP, you should talk to a mod about getting that started and sticky'd to the front page.

(On an unrelated note, aren't some of the existing stickies fairly old, outdated and abandoned? I think some of them need to be removed; they take up a third of the page.)

If someone wrote a post about how much life with gonorrhea sucks, is it a negative post or do you just dislike gonorrhea personally?

exactly

I said maybe, because I don't really think so, but not because it has anything to do with bragging per se, but rather that I can't imagine us actually reading many of them. The aspies I know, myself included, prefer straight facts and have little time for mushy stories, in fact, mushy stories make me squirm. Not to mention the fact that there's nothing stopping people from posting inspirational stories on the current boards.

Then again, if there was a specific place for them, people would know where to look! As I'm in the UK, I've only just had the chance to catch up on what's been said in here overnight, and that would be way too many posts to address individually.

Seems to me that the main concensus is that it could be a good idea if the nuts and bolts of how a particular goal was achieved are explained in such a way that other folks could maybe take something useful from it.

For instance, I've improved my social interactions with both other staff and patients in my work by getting a mentor. This chap doesn't KNOW he's a mentor though. I simply watch, listen and try to learn whenever I'm working with him because he has the best social skills I've ever seen, period. He can put anyone at ease, and within a half hour he's their long lost buddy! It's uncanny.

But posts on how things are going well could also be a good thing. Not everyone would want to read those though, so maybe two threads- one for achievements, how you did it and the hurdles that had to overcome, and maybe a "Yay! I'm having a great day!" thread to allow for a place that's full of happy....

As a new member I read a number of posts on WP and found some of it 'negative' at first, however I can understand as sometimes you just have to 'vent' (as another poster mentioned, not something they might do elsewhere whether it's online or in real life). Another thing I find is that the bad things in life are a bit more noticeable than the good things, and I often bring up the bad things with my friends in an attempt to try to resolve them, improve myself or otherwise. Though I firmly believe that it's a good thing to be positive, and I've found it's helped me a lot, though I can imagine some people might say 'it's easier said than done'. Still, I think a subforum for positive things would be a good thing and if people don't like it they can choose not to use it.

Soooo... I just realised that I'm a bit of an idiot and should have examined the threads in the Haven more closely. *facepalm*

It appears there are a couple of threads with a positive spin in there.

Maybe the Haven isn't the right place?

So that would suggest that the Haven is for when you're down, not when you're happy!

Just to clarify, I'm not saying that people are being deliberately negative on purpose, simply that when you're down it's natural to want to vent more. The more this is discussed, the more I'm thinking that a "Happy Place" subforum would be a good idea

I know what you mean, OP. It can become rather depressing around here at times, but I think WP seems reasonably positive at the moment. I tend to drift away when things get too negative.

People definitely need a place to vent, though, and some people here don't have anyone to talk to about their emotions in their lives outside of the site.

I completely agree with that, Kuribo. I am certainly not suggesting that people shouldn't vent when they're feeling down. It's a healthy thing to do, especially if you have nobody in your life that you feel you can talk to. Al;so, talking to people that you know will understand is extremely helpful.

I'm just suggesting that a balance might be good. So that if someone is happy, having a good time of it and wants to share that, they could have a place to do that where they wouldn't get shot down for being all bouncy and happy....

I'm fairly new here, but I don't find the WP discussions overtly negative. I like the honesty and directness of it all, I miss this straightforwardness in real life.

I voted "maybe" because some people may be able to benefit from positive feedback, it could be a place to ask on how to deal with specific issues or how others on the spectrum overcame a particular problem. On the other hand these questions could be addressed in a positive manner elsewhere in the forum depending on the subject.

Well if you're basing your opinion of the level of negativity on this site on 'The Haven' which is specifically for venting and talking about problems your having...no wonder you think it has an over-all negative tone.

That's not what I said. I was alluding to the fact that I had missed those two threads, for all I've been here for quite a while- in essence admitting that I had made an error. And basically pointing out that someone looking for happy positive stuff is probably NOT going to look for that in the Haven. I also didn't say that the whole site was negative, only that the positive voices seem to be drowned out by the volume of people having a bad time of it! I also stated that I think it's important that people have somewhere to vent those sad/depressive/anxious/angry/despairing feelings, and that the Haven is fantastic for serving that purpose.

My suggestion was meant to enable those who are positive souls with an optimistic outlook to be easily found by others like them, to give them a clear voice, and allow others who want to know HOW they've achieved that state to ask them if they want to. I was also hoping that these people could maybe help those who are sad.

Gonorrhea does suck though, so I wouldn't think it was negative at all for someone to make a thread about how it sucks to have it.

Usually people have a personal dislike of threads in which the op makes a thread about a subject matter that is contentious, controversial or just something that happens to disagree with the person's worldview. So they'll simply disregard that thread as "negative".

Which is subjective.