Advice to aspies too basic - anyone agree?

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Nonperson
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11 Mar 2013, 12:01 pm

I'm 34 and I'm sure I'm not an elder, and certainly not wise!

What I don't get, though, is why NTs somehow don't find it too difficult not to expect intellectually disabled people to keep up with them academically, or physically disabled people to keep up with them in sports, but somehow expecting less from us socially is unthinkable to them and, apparently, to a lot of us.

Why should we have to create our own society simply to get out of being forced to continue to attempt and fail what our wiring prevents us from doing? It isn't reasonable at all.



Moondust
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11 Mar 2013, 12:38 pm

It's not that we should. It's that we have the opportunity to try, so every aspie is tempted to. Someone blind can't even try to pass for seeing, but aspies can and most try to pass for NT.


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glow
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15 Mar 2013, 5:48 pm

i am a fan of the collective unconscious that dwell in our society. i think anyone can be a better attuned person given the right skills and appraisals needed to find a database in which to view their findings and come back with the concluded mystery to the preliminary.



AgentPalpatine
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06 Apr 2013, 7:45 pm

Ai_Ling wrote:
For NTs, they typically learn the basics in elementary school and they just naturally figure out from there how to apply it more complex situations. I think when you get beyond the basics, it becomes extremely variable and the advice really needs to cater specifically to each individual aspie. For me, things are very complicated. I have skills and deficits ranging from very basic to very complex social skills due to the immersion experiance that I got in college. I went around picking up complex social stuff and not even having the basics down good. Hiearchy makes things very confusing.


I wonder how much of the above mentioned "deficits" are the result of Aspies, for no other reason than issues processing non-verbal communication, not understanding decisions and the transaction of information inside peer groups?

I really believe that many of the issues that are mentioned on a daily basis on WP are the result of social exclusion, and not Aspie processing/communication differences in and of themselves. Social exclusion can be reduced, particuarly by interaction with other indivduals with the same neurological processing style.


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minervx
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06 Apr 2013, 7:51 pm

Moondust wrote:
Does anyone agree that, especially in the relating area, the advice out there (and in here) is like 101 when they'd actually need advice for much more complex situations?

See for example the video running on this site about how to join 2 people who are conversing. I find that in real life the complexities are much, much higher and the factors you have to take into account for a successful joining in a conversation are a lot more. Eg power relations - if you substitute in that video the 2 girls with 2 top exec managers at your workplace when you're the janitor, everything changes.


agree 100%. this is no dearth of superficial advice out there.



Ai_Ling
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07 Apr 2013, 2:53 am

Nonperson wrote:
What I don't get, though, is why NTs somehow don't find it too difficult not to expect intellectually disabled people to keep up with them academically, or physically disabled people to keep up with them in sports, but somehow expecting less from us socially is unthinkable to them and, apparently, to a lot of us.


For NTs intellectual disabled kinda equals ~ socially disabled. So if your not intellectually disabled you cant be socially disabled. And if you have normal intelligence but bad social skills its kinda your fault like your not putting yourself out there enough and you dont really try. Or you dont care enough about other peoples thoughts and feelings. Its a vast misperception.



AgentPalpatine
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07 Apr 2013, 9:30 pm

minervx wrote:
Moondust wrote:
Does anyone agree that, especially in the relating area, the advice out there (and in here) is like 101 when they'd actually need advice for much more complex situations?

See for example the video running on this site about how to join 2 people who are conversing. I find that in real life the complexities are much, much higher and the factors you have to take into account for a successful joining in a conversation are a lot more. Eg power relations - if you substitute in that video the 2 girls with 2 top exec managers at your workplace when you're the janitor, everything changes.


agree 100%. this is no dearth of superficial advice out there.


True, but we're talking about a generation of researchers who are taking the time to research things that were assumed to be simple for years, at least since the begining of our current cultural world. They have to start from the basics, because no one else ever did a study of how conversions work.


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