Aspergers Husband

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Thats rather pathetic.

A self fulfilling prophecy- hes afraid of people leaving him so he drives them away with his possessiveness.

But thats not your problem. You have the right to leave. I think the above posters are right that you should.

Or atleast get some couples counsuling first.

I think he has something else wrong with him, I don't think it's just aspergers.

And he is saying I'm bullying him because I told him he is doing it to me.

And he sees nothing wrong with his behavior?

Some people just astound me.

There is no "fixing" him. There is no pill, or medicine. No great argument.. or insight you can share with him that will change everything. And no couples therapy will straighten him out.

Men around the world suffer with this possessive sickness. Why do you think Muslims have women wearing burkas? I'm reading a book now about an anthropologist who lived with the Yanomami indians for years, and even there, sometimes males would get consumed with jealousy about imagined unfaithfulness from their wives and beat them. And this sickness happens every day in the U.S. where a sick jealous husband takes out his family, and then kills himself... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/2 ... 45381.html

I have an ex of his on my Facebook, do u think I should ask her if he was in any way possesive towards her?

You can ask about the potholes in your street while you're there too. Win-win.

Oh, yeah. And your boyfriend sounds like a dangerous nutter. If it were me, I'd be looking for the exit.

Yes. The police where I live recommenced that you try to find out about an abusive partner's history.

A though one. I think I would have refused to accept his rules, and start breaking them and adding some (innocent) new behavior he shouldn't be able to reject as "you're cheating on him". It could also be useful to insist that anything he imposes on you should be imposed on him as well. So if you are not allowed to go out anywhere without his or his mothers company, he should not be allowed to either. In my experience, people that are possessive in this way don't like to get caught in their own regulations, rather think it is ok for themselves to behave like they want. By inforcing the rules on themselves, they get a feeling for what they do to others.

Of course, he might become abusive if you refuse to follow his rules, or if he won't accept that he must accept his own rules on his own behavior, but if he does get abusive, that means you must leave him.

To be honest, reading this thread has raised more red flags than I'd expect to see at the Mint 400.

He sounds like a manipulative psycho, and I'm afraid to say that the circumstances you describe bear all the hallmarks of the classic abusive relationship. I doubt his behaviour has anything to do with Aspergers', although I think it's highly likely that he's taking advantage of yours in order to cut you off from any support network you might have and brainwash you into believing you're not worthy of anyone else.

You could seek couple counselling if you can persuade him to come, but something tells me that's not very likely. What's more, the longer you go on allowing him to treat you like this the worse he's likely to get. The love of a good woman won't reform an as*hole - if anyhing it'll inflate his ego to the point where he feels justified in acting like even more of an as*hole.

The long and short of it? Tell him you have a problem with his behaviour and suggest that he two of you go to counselling together to try and talk through the problem. If he refuses to co-operate - which is pretty likely - leave him. Self-respect is more important than any relationship, and you sound like you deserve much better.

Last edited by Bustduster on 26 Mar 2013, 9:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

I agree, I think you should ask her about it. Like ask her about how she got away too and how he reacted when she left him. But let her know you are married to her ex husband so she will understand why you are asking about her relationship with him and she might be willing to help by talking about it.

No offense meant, but seriously, just leave. You will be much happier when you aren't dealing with this emotion abuse BS. Since it sounds like he's always been this way with you (more or less), it seems highly unlikely he'll change in the future.

I agree. There is no treatment, no couple's therapy, or insights that will change him. She should figure out how to stop having this guy in her life.

Sure.

Ask her if he was "a friggin' psycho as well" while you're at it!