Have people ever described you as "scary"?

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tjr1243
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05 Apr 2013, 11:48 pm

Skilpadde wrote:
The fourth person was a woman who also was a stranger. I was downtown and had bought some stuff so I was carrying some bags. I thought I had just missed the bus I was looking for, so I was going to another bus stop a few minutes away so I could take another bus. A few meters later two things happened simultaneously. On my left side a woman bumped into me, and on my right side the bus I had hoped to catch in the first place drove past me. I whirled around to check if it was the correct bus. The woman who had bumped into me turned around quickly and stared at me. I quickly set course for the bus stop to catch the bus. In doing so I was moving towards the woman who just stood there, and she ran around another woman she had been walking with, and hid on the other side of her while looking at me like she expected me to do anything to her! My thoughts were only at catching that bus. It was comical. Had I had more time I don't think I could have resisted saying "Boo!" before moving on :lol: but I had to run after the bus. Gad there are some weird ones out there!


It is interesting you had this happen, but based on personal experience, I wouldn't necessarily attribute it to the women being afraid of you because of this:

I'm a woman and have either gotten accidentally physically close to a stranger (due to misjudging distances or their suddenly turning around) and my reaction was more IRRITABLE than anything else. I'm an incredibly irritable and impatient person, and if a stranger gets too close or I'm walking in one direction and the stranger the other and it's a narrow pathway and we almost collide, my body recoils instinctively. I avert my gaze quickly and have a disgusted look on my face. Nothing personal to the stranger, but that's just how I react. Oh, and my body just spazzes when this happen.....I will back up several.paces very quickly, as if TERRIFIED of the person while frowning. It is just a kneejerk, irritated reaction. Of course, the situation you described sounds different, but this is just my take. Perhaps they were scared but they could have also been prickly or irritable.



daydreamer84
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05 Apr 2013, 11:51 pm

Skilpadde- It';s not scary like, "she'd be a formidable opponent". I'm sure if they were looking for a target for a crime they'd still attack me. It's more like that person is raving mad, she looks mentally ill, unstable, creepy, so I;m going to move away from her. At least I think so.



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05 Apr 2013, 11:54 pm

Skilpadde wrote:
I'm impressed that relatively small females here are able to scare big men! Man I envy you that, it's gotta make you feel safer? Like at least they won't do anything to you?

Actually it does work pretty well most of the time. Very few people mess with me if I put my 'hard stare' on. Doesn't make you feel very feminine though 8O

I don't know that just a look would work on a genuine psycho if they tried to attack me, and even if I can look scary, I'm still small, so if it came down to genuine strength I wouldn't have a chance. So it's not a perfect safety system, because at the end of the day that's who is most likely to actually threaten your safety.

I would actually be really interested to see how it worked on an Aspie who is really bad on reading expression :)



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06 Apr 2013, 12:12 am

Quote:
Can you elaborate? What exactly is it about the voice? I only have myself to judge by and while I think my voice is unusual (based on recordings), I don't know why it would be scary. Please elaborate so I can understand!


Prosody and inflection are off to the extent that it sounds creepy or unpleasant. In fact, the voice of Cruella DeVille is based on the voice of an autistic female. This is the case in both men and women, but particularly in women. Men actually are worse, but the same level of impairment sounds less abnormal in men to the NT ear.

1. Here is a slightly creepy version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyUco0sxoaU (sounds like mentally ret*d/drug user to NT ears)

2. The creepier version (sounds a little gross): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYVuoYvQKyw (sounds gross to NT ears)

3. A video where the speaker seems disturbed and would definitely scare large men: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHdpgA1-HLs (sounds mentally disturbed and possibly dangerous to NT ears)

4. Here is an aspie girl with a very nice, though distinctly autistic, voice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IzAhBuJUh8 (sounds just like a younger version of my mother, actually....interesting :D)



daydreamer84
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06 Apr 2013, 12:28 am

Tyri0n wrote:
Quote:
Can you elaborate? What exactly is it about the voice? I only have myself to judge by and while I think my voice is unusual (based on recordings), I don't know why it would be scary. Please elaborate so I can understand!


Prosody and inflection are off to the extent that it sounds creepy or unpleasant. In fact, the voice of Cruella DeVille is based on the voice of an autistic female. This is the case in both men and women, but particularly in women. Men actually are worse, but the same level of impairment sounds less abnormal in men to the NT ear.

1. Here is a slightly creepy version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyUco0sxoaU (sounds like mentally ret*d/drug user to NT ears)

2. The creepier version (sounds a little gross): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYVuoYvQKyw (sounds gross to NT ears)

3. A video where the speaker seems disturbed and would definitely scare large men: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHdpgA1-HLs (sounds mentally disturbed and possibly dangerous to NT ears)

4. Here is an aspie girl with a very nice, though distinctly autistic, voice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IzAhBuJUh8 (sounds just like a younger version of my mother, actually....interesting :D)


Those voices don't sound creepy to me at all. 1 and 4 seem to be a bit lacking in inflection. 2 sounds maybe similar to me-very expressive, a lot inflection, but maybe kind of weird? I don't hear it as gross but it could be. 3 also just seems a little weird but very expressive and inflected, not scary or dangerous in the least to me.



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06 Apr 2013, 12:32 am

Tyri0n wrote:
Yes, but only when I was on Zoloft. I got off that f**** up stuff.


That stuff filled me with rage when I went back on it a second time. It certainly made me have thoughts I never had before.

I wish people thought I was scary.



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06 Apr 2013, 12:54 am

Tyri0n wrote:
Prosody and inflection are off to the extent that it sounds creepy or unpleasant. In fact, the voice of Cruella DeVille is based on the voice of an autistic female. This is the case in both men and women, but particularly in women. Men actually are worse, but the same level of impairment sounds less abnormal in men to the NT ear.

1. Here is a slightly creepy version: (sounds like mentally ret*d/drug user to NT ears)

2. The creepier version (sounds a little gross): (sounds gross to NT ears)

3. A video where the speaker seems disturbed and would definitely scare large men: (sounds mentally disturbed and possibly dangerous to NT ears)

4. Here is an aspie girl with a very nice, though distinctly autistic, voice: (sounds just like a younger version of my mother, actually....interesting :D)


I can't seem to hear anything weird in the voices... they sound perfectly fine to me. Can people on the spectrum not tell these things?


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onewithstrange
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06 Apr 2013, 2:18 am

Well, a friend told me one of our mutual acquaintances said she thought I was the next Unibomber, so I guess so :/ I've also scared people unintentionally (made them jump) on several occasions without trying to. I'm not here to hurt anyone, I'm just different and maladjusted.



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06 Apr 2013, 2:31 am

onewithstrange wrote:
I'm not here to hurt anyone, I'm just different and maladjusted.


Welcome! I think you'll find a lot of us here fit that description :wink:



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06 Apr 2013, 2:59 am

I was told by one person that I'm scary, back when I was in High School. I have no idea why. I was universally considered "weird" though.



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06 Apr 2013, 3:32 am

They don't describe me that way, but by the way they act if I seem like I'm angry they think I'm "scary". I'm not a little guy by the way.



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06 Apr 2013, 3:51 am

daydreamer84 wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
Quote:
Can you elaborate? What exactly is it about the voice? I only have myself to judge by and while I think my voice is unusual (based on recordings), I don't know why it would be scary. Please elaborate so I can understand!


Prosody and inflection are off to the extent that it sounds creepy or unpleasant. In fact, the voice of Cruella DeVille is based on the voice of an autistic female. This is the case in both men and women, but particularly in women. Men actually are worse, but the same level of impairment sounds less abnormal in men to the NT ear.

1. Here is a slightly creepy version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyUco0sxoaU (sounds like mentally ret*d/drug user to NT ears)

2. The creepier version (sounds a little gross): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYVuoYvQKyw (sounds gross to NT ears)

3. A video where the speaker seems disturbed and would definitely scare large men: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHdpgA1-HLs (sounds mentally disturbed and possibly dangerous to NT ears)

4. Here is an aspie girl with a very nice, though distinctly autistic, voice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IzAhBuJUh8 (sounds just like a younger version of my mother, actually....interesting :D)


Those voices don't sound creepy to me at all. 1 and 4 seem to be a bit lacking in inflection. 2 sounds maybe similar to me-very expressive, a lot inflection, but maybe kind of weird? I don't hear it as gross but it could be. 3 also just seems a little weird but very expressive and inflected, not scary or dangerous in the least to me.


That's why clinical assessments really don't work in real life. High functioning, low functioning, prosody and reciprocal communication, who cares? What matters is whether the person is likable.

#4 is just likable. Whatever you say about her, prosody or whatever, she's adorable, and most NT's would want to give her a hug. That is not likely to be the case with the others.



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06 Apr 2013, 4:50 am

Yes I've had this. I've overhead several people say it and also had plenty of looks as if I've alarmed or scared people. I think it's more the way I look than any manifestation of the Aspergers although I suppose it could be an intense look that is linked to being autistic. I've also been told it was scary when I lost my temper.

I find people very frustrating in that they seem to carry a permanent 'normal' template round in their head and apply it to anyone they come across and have loud alarm bells go off in their heads if a person doesn't fit the template. They can act in an almost 'Call the police there's a weird person on the loose!' type manner that depending on my mood I will either find depressing, annoying or amusing. And they do all this with total unconcern for how they're making ME feel about it all! I could never be that insensitive towards another human being and whatever a person looks like it will have little to no impact on how I react - I will be able to see them, think they look different and move on without them even being aware I've thought it!

Of course it also implies they think themselves they very epitome of normality to be judging others like this in the first place but what does it say about their 'normality' exactly? It says to me that they can keep it!

I think to myself if these people saw something really traumatic, like say a bomb going off and body parts all over the place, judging by the way they react to something a bit different from the norm, they'd go completely insane in that scenario!



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06 Apr 2013, 5:04 am

I'm a buttercup, so of course not.



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06 Apr 2013, 5:10 am

Tyri0n wrote:
(sounds mentally disturbed and possibly dangerous to NT ears)


"To NT ears" is key, I listened to all 4 voices and wasn't the least bit disturbed by any of them. I felt like they all sounded quirky, but they all sounded human and none of them scared me or grossed me out.



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06 Apr 2013, 5:18 am

Tyri0n wrote:
Quote:
Can you elaborate? What exactly is it about the voice? I only have myself to judge by and while I think my voice is unusual (based on recordings), I don't know why it would be scary. Please elaborate so I can understand!


Prosody and inflection are off to the extent that it sounds creepy or unpleasant. In fact, the voice of Cruella DeVille is based on the voice of an autistic female. This is the case in both men and women, but particularly in women. Men actually are worse, but the same level of impairment sounds less abnormal in men to the NT ear.

1. Here is a slightly creepy version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyUco0sxoaU (sounds like mentally ret*d/drug user to NT ears)

2. The creepier version (sounds a little gross): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYVuoYvQKyw (sounds gross to NT ears)

3. A video where the speaker seems disturbed and would definitely scare large men: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHdpgA1-HLs (sounds mentally disturbed and possibly dangerous to NT ears)

4. Here is an aspie girl with a very nice, though distinctly autistic, voice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IzAhBuJUh8 (sounds just like a younger version of my mother, actually....interesting :D)



How can you know how any of these people sound 'to NT ears' unless you are NT yourself?

The last girl did not seem autistic at all to me so it's highly ironic you say she has a distinctly autistic voice

I sense a hell of a lot of negative judgement towards the first 3 women coming off yourself

I get fed up of people towards the NT end of the spectrum telling us all 'how it is'

Yes 'how it is' in NT land - if that's what you prefer go there, but please do not try and enforce NT 'standards' on a
board for people with Autism

None of those people sound 'creepy or unpleasant'

What is highly unpleasant is having people judge them in such an NT manner

In my opinion you don't like yourself very much so you project it onto others