through the eyes of Autsim.What Autism feels likes

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For me it can vary. I could most relate to the sensory overload video and picture. That is why, especially if my energy is low, I have a really hard time in the city. The noises really bother me and lights can bother me too especially night driving on the highway and when people's lights are really bright.

I hear a lot but not all at the same volume but I will hear things that other people around me often don't and I do hear a lot of things at the same time. And it also depends on the sound. I can sometimes hear someone's bass on their stereo four or five blocks away. And that is one of my Misophonic triggers so that is really hard. Sometimes I even hear the sound of the air going through the hot water heater pipe to the chimney in the basement from the second floor bedroom which is on the opposite end of the house. That can also drive me absolutely crazy. But I don't hear all sounds as acutely as the first video talks about, like I wouldn't hear the woman rummaging in her purse all the way across the room unless it is one of my Misophonic triggers. Then sometimes it seems like I could hear it even it was in Outer Space. But I will hear certain details that others won't.

I remember one time I was on the phone with someone and he got a call on another phone and I heard the person on the second phone through the phone he was talking to me on. That was kind of weird. There are also times that I have a hard time distinguishing what someone is saying because I can't always clear it from the background noise. Sometimes I don't hear things at all though even though other people around me do but some things that I hear are like the equivalent of what you would see in little tiny details. And sometimes I simply can't make sense of what I am hearing. It's like my brain can't figure it out. Even certain words are hard for me. For example the first time I heard the word cichlid, like fish, the person had to repeat it 5 times and do a charade demo for me to make sense of it.

And if someone is talking to me in a very loud or aggressive or overbearing voice I can get very overwhelmed. Fast or aggressive music like rap or hip hop or even very fast classical or baroque music can be very difficult for me as well and can cause me to have a Misophonic reaction.

The Twinkle Twinkle Little Star video I could very much relate to as well. I often think and process and understand and react to things as a very young child would, even as a toddler would sometimes especially when I am completely overwhelmed. I think that is what the filmmaker was trying to portray. It might be a bit of a stretch to figure that out from that video if you have no concept of what it feels like to struggle with that but I was able to relate to it quite well.

The first two videos I could not relate to. I am guessing that is because I am very "high functioning". But I imagine that people who are more severely affected than I could relate to them. The one with Enya playing in the background showing the different lights, I was able to relate to as well since I have had times when I have seen lights like that especially when I was younger.

If I am in the city sometimes the sounds combined with everything I see on a busy day can be a lot. And like in the video of the NT comparison of walking down the street I see a lot of detailed stuff like everything the person got distracted by. I also hear much more like the ASD hearing comparison of walking down the street than the NT comparison. I never imagined a busy city street could ever sound that quiet to anyone. That is amazing.

I notice details and changes clearly like the person said but they don't usually steal my focus on what I am doing because if I want to go somewhere or do something I can be pretty focused on getting there or doing it. But I think it's mostly the sounds that make it difficult. And having Misophonia does not help.

I get very strong emotional overload though. Sometimes my emotions can pour in on me like a huge avalanche and can completely overwhelm me. Fortunately that is not a 24/7 thing but when it comes it can come hard. That usually causes me to have pretty significant meltdowns.

I see a lot of details too but I don't usually get sensory overload from visuals unless it is bright lights and my energy is low. I also notice patterns and colors very intently. I don't know if I see brighter than normal NT brightness or not but I know that I don't see anything as brightly as the walking down the street video portrayed, at least not during the day anyway. But they made it pretty clear that the brightness wasn't really accurate and some other posters mentioned that as well. At night, lights can be very bright to me though and I have even gotten headaches and nausea from them, especially if my energy is low or if I am tired. Sometimes it makes night driving very hard especially if my windshield is dirty. Ironically I tend to love night driving though because if there are not a lot of cars on the road it can be very relaxing. When I have taken a bus like a big coach I have always loved sitting in the front seat because I love looking at the white striping on the road at night especially the dashes more than the solids. And day or night I love looking out of the huge windshield. But I definitely see colors very vividly and I can see and notice very tiny details and I really like that.

Sometimes I have trouble finding a focus point as well and everything just seems to be like one thing. Not blurred together like in the first two videos but just equally planed so that there is no focus on anything. Other times I can zero in and fixate on one particular thing or detail and everything else just kind of falls into the background. But the majority of the time I can see pretty normally like everything is right how it should be.

I can also get very sensitive to smells and certain touches too but I think the hardest things for me are sound overload and emotional overload.

But overall I think the videos did a pretty good job at portraying what the filmmakers were trying to say.

Wow. I never imagined that people couldn't hear stuff like that. o___o;; I'm always having to stop talking when there's noise... It's no wonder I'm treated like I'm dumb. >____<;;

WOW!! !! OMG!! !! I just realized something. When I was looking at the videos on what it is like to be autistic it was late at night and I was in my bed with my laptop with my dim night table light on. My laptop screen is not particularly bright. I like it on a slightly dimmer setting.

Today I went out to the grocery store. It was about 5:30 pm and it was a picture perfect day so the sun was out but not at its highest point. I noticed for the very first time how bright everything was. I never knew until I went outside after seeing the NT walking down the street comparison video that I do see everything very bright and very vivid. I always knew that I see vivid colors and contrasts but I never knew that I also see bright. I remember asking my husband why they make car headlights so insanely bright that people would get headaches but now I am thinking maybe they don't, it might just be me.

I also can get mesmerized at color contrasts outside like trees against the sky or cloud colors or grass or flowers and the list is endless. But sometimes I might tell my husband, "look, those clouds or trees or whatever are spectacularly beautiful," and I can't get enough of looking at them. But he does not seem to see just how exciting and absorbing what I am looking at is. He must not be seeing it as vividly as I am. And I noticed how I see small details in just about everything.

Wow, what an amazing thing to realize. No wonder all the movement in the city can be such a big deal to me. No wonder I love being in nature so much.

I thought for me it was mostly sound overload but now I realize it can be visual too. After seeing the NT version and then stepping outside, I really notice the difference. The ASD version is a definitely a good bit brighter in the video but not by a huge, massive margin.

Funny thing is I love the bright and vivid colors but now I see how it can contribute to sensory overload for me. Even people in the stores were vivid. I was even more aware of how sharply I could see their clothes, skin, make up, or hair, which I find fascinating and often mesmerizing to begin with. This is amazing. I never knew how sharply I see until I saw the comparison. So even though I love seeing like this, I now understand how it is definitely a factor for sensory overload.

I also noticed that I do get much more distracted when I drive than I thought I did because I want to look at everything because everything is so sharp and vivid even in the shade. It's just less bright in the shade. But I wonder if I see things in the shade brighter than NT's do. But I often get the sensation like I am excited just looking at things like trees and the sky and I sometimes feel like I am seeing them for the first time. I wonder if that has to do with the brightness thing. And my peripheral vision is very good and wide too and I wonder if that is different for NT's as well. But this is really cool. I am learning a lot about myself that I had never realized before.

Yeah, the video of what it's like for an NT walking down the street looked very dark. Surprisingly so.

It looked like it was cloudy and the cloud was covering the sun but it was blue skies. I also notice the video gets brighter and brighter. I don't have that experience because the light stays the same to my eyes. But the beginning of the bight light is how it looks to my eyes so I squint but it doesn't get brighter.

As others have posted the first and last video accurately describes my world. I could only listen to video 1 for 49 seconds, huge trigger. The last video the first part I had to turn the volume all the way because I didn't hear any sound and thought there was something "missing".

I think some of that is due to the light sensitivity. At some angles it looks much brighter than others. But yeah, I agree. I don't get that fluctuation in brightness either. I just wear sunglasses to deal with it.

Two more videos:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEg6uFMy_RQ[/youtube]

and

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3af5JJ3DRJU[/youtube]

When it comes to light sensitivity, my worst days are the ones where I wear my sunglasses, and it is STILL too bright outside. Also, there are days when having sunglasses on my face sets off tactile sensitivity, and it hurts to wear them. Then, I am torn between wearing sunglasses to block too much light, but having them feel horrible on my face, or not dealing with the feeling of sunglasses on my face, but having to squint everywhere I go because everything is so bright.

Edit to add: Wow! The NT version of the "walk down the street" does look like it should be very cloudy/overcast outside.

Are you serious? people don't hear the tires on the road?? Wow!

That is amazing. I don't know that I hear everything at the same level of loudness like the video but I know that a busy city street can really be a bit much for me sometimes. I have noticed that my car is pretty well insulated though so it can keep a lot of the sounds out. But walking I would notice a lot. It would definitely not be like the NT version. That sounds like the mostly deaf people version if the ASD version is what is really going on on that street. Without seeing where the sounds are coming from it was bit weird. In the suburbs it's not as bad and I can do that well but in a city like New York or DC I notice that I hear a lot more. It won't really get me too badly though because I am very used to it. I always have chatter in my head, never silence, so you do get used to it. I would not tune the sounds out necessarily but they would not cause me to freak out unless I hear misophonic triggers. Then it can get really bad. And since some of my triggers are typical big city sounds that can be tough. But I remember when we lived in the city I could hear a lot.

But interestingly enough, now that I don't live in the downtown part of the city it can sometimes be even more challenging because the sounds don't blur together as much as they did when there were many more sounds. Now when I hear them they are more acute and separated and can bother me much more since I tend to fixate on them more.

Natural sounds like crickets and birds and babbling brooks or ocean waves are wonderful and I can hear them all day and all night. Even thunder and rain, I can listen to all the time and I love that. It's the artificial sounds like cars and loud stereos with music I don't like and stuff like that that are harder. It was funny hearing the loud people yakking away in the video. That can be very irritating! One thing too that makes it harder for me is the constant noise or the ongoing repetition of certain types of noises. Sometimes it feels like there is no room to breathe or like its hitting you physically and you can't get away from it. Like if I hear one clang if a piece of metal falls, I think I hear that in the video, it might startle me but that is not a big deal. Lots of clangs in a row, however, can really be difficult. But with a misophonic trigger, sometimes all it takes is one to get to me.

The NT version of walking down the street also looks very dull like the colors are muted or subdued. It's actually kind of nice like you see that effect in paintings sometimes.

Yeah, I have periods where everything is too bright. I can be in my room with its dim lamp and still need sunglasses. Fortunately, I don't seem to have issues with my sunglasses (but I have had issues with other pairs), but I've had this pair since the early 90s. It's the only color (rose-ish) that I can tolerate as far as lens tints go.



It was really surprising to me.

My sensory issues seem to swing drastically, really. On a very rare but extremely good day, I could walk down the street a la the NT experience of the last video. On those good days, the cosmic brightness dial is turned way down! And I wouldn’t need sunglasses even at noon.

Unfortunately... far, far more often this isn't the case, at all. And on bad days, things get so bright my visions starts to get white washed into blinding brilliance everywhere, I literally am temporarily blind or nearly so. I've luckily been able to cope by becoming almost entirely nocturnal >.<

As far as sounds go, the first and last vids were spot on, except with regard to being "the same volume". That is a good analogy... but it is not quite right. All the sounds are fighting for attention with the same "importance", even if you are trying to focus on just one sound, you "have" to pay attention to all the sounds, consciously, anyway. But how do you make a video explaining/showing that? I think the analogy of being the same "volume" is as close as we could really relate this into NT terms with. The only way to force the listener to kind of experience what it is like to hear all the sounds with the same degree of attention is to force them to hear them at the same volume.

I know what you mean about how you can change. If I am tired or my energy levels are low I get sensory overload very easily. Sometimes I do quite well though if I am well rested and energized and walking on a busy street is fine for me unless a misophonic trigger comes. But I don't think I would hear it as softly as an NT but I would be fine. But tired and low energy, not so much.

I had never been able to figure out before why my husband always needs to turn on the light in the morning in the bathroom when the sun is shining in through the light curtain in the window. It does add a nice little brightness but I never understood why he insists on needing it on when the bathroom is very well lit without it. Now I am thinking that maybe it is not as bright for him as it is for me without the light and maybe he really can't see as well as I do without it.

I thought the NT version looked bland and it looked like it was cloudy out and or it was getting light out. I thought do people not notice sewers or cigarette buts or car wheels, and other junk and marks on the walls and ground? I also thought do sunny days really look that dark like it's cloudy out or getting daylight?